I Will Be The One
by anime fearie
Summary: This fic is a continuation of the last fic I wrote called"Would You Scare Me Again?" Yaoi warning. Reno and Reeve have been together for a while now. But can Reno handle the whole happy relationship thing when he can barely handle any normal emotions?
1. Default Chapter

I Will Be The One

_By Anime Fearie_

**WARNING:** THIS FIC IS RATED R FOR MILD SEX SCENES, BAD WRITING AND LAGUAGE CONTENT.  IF ANY OF THIS DISTURBS YOU LEAVE NOW.  THIS FIC ALSO CONTAINS MILD YAOI.  THAT MEANS M/M RELATIONSHIPS.  IF MILD YAOI OFFENDS YOU PLEASE DON'T CONTINUE AND I PROMISE TO FIND YOU SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS MILD NEXT TIME…TEEHEE.

**DISCLAIMER:** I DON'T OWN THEM YADDA YADDA YADDA…..SQUARESOFT, GOD OF GAMING OWN THE CHARACTERS I JUST LIKE TO TEASE THEM EVERY SO OFTEN.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** _As I promised, so I have delivered.  The Second part in the "Monsters That Keep Me Awake" series.  Didn't get enough last time eh?  Want more from the boys than soppy mushy intense like from the boys.  Ohh baby, if that's the case you have made the right decision to read. C'mon, as if I was gonna stop it where I did in "Would You Scare Me Again?".  A good ending, but not a conclusion.  Besides sequels are so underrated!  Let's just hope I get this one done as quickly as I did the last.  Whew and that was a ten chaptered mini-novel that I wrote in about two and a half months.  Teehee and most author's take that long to post three chapters. Wait that only proves that I'm possibly insane. Oh well.  Okay I'll stop rambling and give you what you came for.  **This fic is a continuation of the last fic I wrote called "Would You Scare Me Again?"  And you have to have read that fic to get this one.  I mean it!  So if you haven't read that one, go back and read it Now!!!  **For those of you who already know this, this fic centers around the boys in their new relationship and how they cope with that and life in general.  One copes better than the other, much much better.  Reno still has many issues to address as he tries to get back into Turk life back at Shinra.  The death of Tariff and past deeds all weigh heavily on his mind.  All this is a lot to take for a man unused to responsibility. He may not even manage well enough to keep hold of his rapidly diminishing sanity.  _

_On that happy note….enjoy._

Chapter 1 The Sane Theories Of A Psychotic Killer 

            _It's interesting how, when one little aspect of your life changes, your entire outlook can be so drastically altered.  Sure I worry than my past actions may come back to haunt me.  That I have discovered that I'm nothing but a ruthless killer that would sooner blow my own mother's head off than shake my worst enemy's hand.  But I am no longer plagued by these fears that I may have turned into a psychotic madman with no soul.  For if I truly had no soul I could not feel.  I do feel._

_            'You didn't feel for Tariff'._

_            I felt bad for Tariff. Bad for what had happened. For what I had done._

_            'You feel bad for yourself not Tariff. Not for the poor boy who's head you blew off.'_

_            I regret what happened._

_            'Because you got into trouble.  You missed your target.'_

_            It was an accident._

_            'Was it?'_

_            I would never have purposely killed one of my own crew. Not for anything._

_            'Are you sure.  For all you knew he was your competition.  He was better than you.  He would have replaced you.'_

_            Tseng never wanted that to happen.  It doesn't matter. I know I didn't do it on purpose. It's done, there's nothing I can do about it._

_            'No there isn't.  He's dead. You killed him.'_

_            It was an accident!  I already feel guilty._

_            'If it was an accident why do you feel so guilty?'_

_            I pulled the trigger.  I'm responsible._

_            'Do you care?'_

_            Yes, of course I care._

_            'Are you sure?'_

_            ......._

_            'Are you guilty or bad for what you did? Or are you guilty because you lack feeling for it all?  You force those feelings upon yourself because  it is the human way to feel.  In reality you only feel guilty because you don't feel bad for Tariff.  If you didn't force those feelings on yourself you wouldn't be able to think of yourself as human anymore.  You would just be that soulless monster.  Do you mourn Tariff's death?'_

_            No. _

_            'Why not?'_

_            He was a good kid.  I ended up liking him. But there was no real bond.  Nothing I would miss._

_            'So long as you have no bond with a person you could kill them without remorse, emotion?'_

_            Yes._

_            'Innocent people? So long as you are ordered to correct?'_

_            The people I hunt are so rarely 'innocent'._

_            'Is that why you do what you do? To kill all the guilty people in the world?'_

_            I don't know why I do it.  I don't think about it._

_            'But you like your job. You enjoying doing what you do.'_

_            Yes._

_            'You are a soulless monster. A psychotic madman.'_

_            No.  I still feel. _

_            'Do you really?'_

_            Yes.  I have friends I feel for.  There are things I enjoy and admire.  There are mistakes I grieve for.  I am not emotionless._

_            'Some emotions are easy to control.  Some are not. Depression, Anger, Jealousy.....Love.  Such emotions would define who you are.  Are you psychotic? Or are you a monster?'_

_            I have suffered from these intense emotions at one time or another. It doesn't prove anything._

_            'Even love?'_

_            If I hadn't, what would that prove?  All these feelings are controllable.  _

_            'For you yes.  There is your proof.  A psychotic is ruled by emotions.  You are not.'_

_            My job requires it._

_            'What does that make you?'_

_            I am not soulless!_

_            'But you are a monster.'_

                                                *********************

            Reno sat bolt upright in bed, his breathing coming out in quick short breaths.  His face was beaded with sweat, the sweat-soaked sheets twisted around him as if he had been tossing in his sleep.  He wiped the perspiration from his face with a clammy hand and waited for his eyes to adjust the darkness in the room.  Slowly, objects around him came into dim focus.  The illuminated numbers on the clock by the bedside read 3:32am.

            "Swell." He muttered.

            Light snoring could be heard through the darkness beside him.

            He was surprised he hadn't woken Reeve with his tossing and turning, even though he knew how heavily the man slept.

            For a while Reno just sat there listening to the slight noise beside him.  It was comforting, just to listen to him breath.

            Reno's own breathing seemed to come back under some control as he sat there in the dark.  He carefully crept out of bed and made his way to the doorway of the bedroom.  Despite the darkness, he made his way easily through the familiar surroundings toward the kitchen.

Flipping on the light he gazed toward the kettle sitting on the bench top across from where he stood.

            _Way too early for coffee. I'll never get back to sleep._

            Getting a coffee mug from the cabinet he took down a whisky bottle and poured himself a generous amount.  He lifted the mug to his lips to take a sip when the mug was taken out of his hand.

            "Bit early don't you think?"  Reeve asked sleepily, his eyes still half closed with exhaustion.

            "You callin' me a drunk?"  Reno asked jokingly, trying to steal the mug back off Reeve.

            Reeve stepped out of reach before depositing the contents of the cup down the sink.  "I've called you worse and that didn't faze you, why would I bother?"

            Reeve didn't look amused, but Reno knew he was joking.

            "That was expensive stuff, you owe me after that."

            "I'll make you some hot chocolate." Reeve decided taking down a fresh mug.

            Reno watched Reeve as he busied himself with heating the milk.  He perched himself on the counter top facing Reeve's back.

            "I didn't wake you did I?" 

            "When you got up."  He admitted.  "But I don't mind."

            "Funny," Reno mused, "I could belt you around the head for hours while laying next to you and you won't wake up, but the moment I carefully sneak out of the room your up in a flash."

            Reeve poured the warm milk into the mug and went to the fridge. "Perhaps I unconsciously missed your presence in the room."

            Reno laughed, "You be screwed if I ever actually left your apartment then wouldn't you?"

            He settled down and became a little more serious.  "You don't mind having me here all the time do you? I mean you'd tell me to fuck off if...."

            "Reno, you know I like having you here, don't be an idiot."

            Reeve took a bottle of chocolate syrup from the fridge and squirted a healthy dose into the milk before stirring it around.

            Reno smirked.  "Knew we kept that stuff around here for a good reason."  He said motioning toward the bottle.

            Reeve blushed slightly at the reminder, quickly storing it back in the refrigerator.  He picked up the warm mug and handed it to Reno.__

            "Thanks." Reno said accepting the cup.  He took a sip, letting the sweet warm liquid slid down his throat slowly.

            "For what exactly?" Reeve questioned.  "For making you a drink or for not telling you to fuck off?"

            Reno smiled and put down his mug.  Slowly he drew Reeve into the space between his knees as he sat on the counter.  "Both."

Gently he kissed the man, his arms coming to rest on Reeve's shoulders.

            "Nervous about tomorrow?"  Reeve asked eventually.

            "Sort of.  I mean I've never really gotten nervous about much in my life, but the simple act of having to go back into work...."

            "You've been on suspension for over a month Reno.  It's alright to be a little apprehensive."  He tried reassuringly.  then, "You better finish up and get some sleep. You have a big day."

            Reno eyed the cooling mug beside him.  "Doesn't matter what you give me, I doubt I'm gonna get much sleep."

            Reeve slightly raised and eyebrow at Reno.  Without a word he stepped away from Reno and grabbed his hand.  Reno obediently slipped off the counter and followed Reeve as he made his way back to the bedroom.

            Reno let himself be pushed back onto the bed, his pants be slid down his legs.  Reeve discarded the clothing on the floor and smiled at the Turk that lay sprawled before him.  Slowly Reeve climbed over the bed till he was able to capture Reno's lips with his own in a passionate and brutal kiss.

            Reno moaned in Reeve's mouth.  Never was Reeve usually so forward or rough and the change of pace was having the desired effects on the Turk.

            Reeve moved so he practically lay on the other man, trailing kisses down his neck, stopping occasionally to suck and nip at the inviting skin exposed to him.

            Reno let his arms travel over Reeve's back, only one thought occurring to him.

            "You're overdressed." He told Reeve slightly breathlessly.

            Reeve stopped his ministrations long enough to offer him an evil grin.  "Not for what I have planned."

            Reno looked up at the man curiously for a second, but the look melted off his face as Reeve slightly ground his hips into Reno's.

            "Oh..gods.." was Reno's muttered reply.

            Reeve led his trail of kisses down Reno's chest and across his abdomen.  

            Reno felt himself grow even harder with the knowledge of just what Reeve was about to do to him.  Every time that his lips strayed a little lower he couldn't help groaning with anticipation.  Finally Reeve seemed to hear Reno's frustrated noises and granted him what he'd been waiting for.

            "Oh, gods....Reeve..."  Reno moaned as he felt Reeve's mouth go around him, fully taking him in.

            He barely restrained himself from thrusting to meet the maddening rhythm Reeve had created with his mouth.  Instead he clutched the pillows by his head, his knuckles slowly going white with the force.

            _Jesus, when did he get so good at this?_

            Actually if Reno had been able to think back, he would have realized that this was the first time Reeve had done this to him.  If he had known that it would be this good, he would have undoubtedly asked sooner for the treatment.

            Eventually Reno let out and an unfettered cry as he came, his hands finally letting go of the pillows.

            For a while he lay there panting, unable to move.  Reeve moved his position to sidle up next to him, his grin showing through the room's darkness.

            "Want to take back the comment in the kitchen now?"

            "..Arghhhh..."

            Reeve chuckled slightly.  "Thought so."

            "Your good at that."  Reno told him.

            "I've had a bit of practice."  Reeve reminded his voice low.

            Reno could have kicked himself for not remembering.  

            Instead he said.  "I don't think I can move."

            The amused tone came back into Reeve's voice.  "You don't have to, it was my pleasure. Just thought it might help to relax you."

            "Mmmmm..."

            Reeve kissed his forehead lightly then laid on his back, closing his eyes.

            Against his own beliefs, Reno did move.  He moved onto his side, one arm going around Reeve's waist, the other up to turn his face to confront his own.  Slowly and very meaningfully he kissed him.  Reeve returned the deep kiss earnestly.

            Eventually Reno drew back.

            "You just don't know what you do to me."

            He could feel more than hear Reeve laugh softly at the comment.  "Actually, I think I do know what I just did to you."

            "That's not what I meant."

            Reeve stopped laughing.  "I know."

            Reno felt compelled to say something else.  He opened his mouth, then closed it not knowing what it was that was lingering on his tongue.

            "Thank you."  He said instead, laying his head down to rest on the other man's chest.

            Reeve let his free hand stray through Reno's unbound hair.  "No problem."  He said as his fingers tangled in the red mess.

            "There is one thing you can do for me."  Reeve added.

            "Mmmmm?"

            "Wash and brush your hair before you go into work tomorrow."

            This time it was Reno that chuckled.  "I thought you were going to ask me something simple like if I could assassinate the President or something."

*************************************************

            As morning came, soft rays of light spilt in through the curtains, casting light over the red-headed figure still sprawled in bed.  Reno opened one eye toward the offending sunlight before rolling to face away from the window.  This action bought him in line with the digital display on the clock by the bed side.  

            He groaned.  He would have to get up soon or he would be late for work.  

            He yawned loudly and rolled out of the bed, noting that the other occupant was also missing.  Knowing Reeve, he had woken up early but let Reno sleep a little while longer before rousing him.

            Staggering slightly, he pulled his pajama pants on and left the room, heading for the kitchen.  A warm cup of coffee awaited him on the bench as did a bowl of dry cereal.  Reno grinned and opened the fridge grabbing a carton of milk.

            The sound of the shower filled the spacious apartment only slightly drowning out the soft humming that always accompanied it.  Reno chuckled as he recognized the tune.  It was the same one Reeve had sung in his office that day, not realizing he had an audience.

            The sound of the shower stopped, but the humming continued.  Quickly Reno poured some milk into his cereal, grabbed the bowl and headed for the bathroom.  He found Reeve in front of the mirror, towel wrapped around his waist, shaving cream smeared over half of his face.

            "Morning."  He greeted as he caught Reno's reflection in the mirror behind him.

            Reno closed the toilet lid and perched himself on it, bowl in his lap.  

            "And what a fine morning it is."  Reno said with forced enthusiasm.

            "Indeed."  Reeve answered.  

            "Well as fine as it can get when I'm as nervous as hell."  Reno admitted as jokingly as he could.  "I get the feeling that they're gonna make me give up my first born and sell my soul to Shinra."

            Reeve chuckled softly.  "Well if it helps any, I don't think giving up your first born is something you really have to worry about at the moment."

            "Not unless there's something your not telling me Reeve."  Reno answered, not missing a beat.

            Reeve let out another chuckle before turning back to his task.

Reno picked up his spoon and began eating, all the while studying Reeve's reflection.

"You know," he said between soggy mouth fulls of cornflakes, "You should grow yourself a goatee."

            Reeve looked at Reno through the reflection in the mirror.  "And whys that?"  

            "I think it's look really cool.  Personally it's something I myself have always wanted to grow."

            "Why don't you?"

            "Well, for one thing I think that I don't have the right look for it, whereas you look good in anything."

            Reeve smiled.  "Flattery will get you everywhere."  He told him sagely.

            "Secondly, I have red hair, a feature that doesn't even look good on my head let alone on my face.  To fully look the part I think you either need dark or gray hair."

            "I think I've got both thanks to you."  He joked.

            Reeve looked at himself critically for a second.

            "You really think it would look good?"  He asked seriously.

            Reno nodded and swallowed his mouthful. "'Specially with your hair that length.  You'd look really good."

            Reeve turned and smirked at him.  "And I suppose that's a totally unbiased opinion?"

            Reno grinned.  "Totally."

            Reeve turned back to the mirror once more, carefully scrutinizing his face.  "Okay."  Reeve finally conceded.  "It can be your birthday present."

            The remark was followed by the sound of a spoon dropping onto the tiles.  Reno stared at Reeve's back with his mouth hanging open.  "How did you….."

            "Rude told me."  Reeve answered, amused by the other man's reaction.  "I was curious, so I asked.  I didn't know how close it was, you should have said."

            Reno picked up his spoon and tired, very unsuccessfully to remain casual.  "I didn't want a fuss."

            "Oh. C'mon Reno. You love to be the center of attention.  What's the big deal?"

            "I dunno." He shrugged.  "Bad things always seem to happen on my birthday."

            Reeve washed his face clean and went on to comb his hair neatly.

            "It can't all be that bad.  What happened last year?"

            "Rufus filled my fireplace with fireworks.  Soon as I came home and lit it….well, you can probably guess."

            Reeve couldn't help but laugh at that one.  

            Until he realized what was wrong with that story.

            "Reno you don't have a fireplace."

            "Different apartment."  Reno clarified.  "My old one ended up laying halfway across the number five motorway three blocks away.  Luckily I'd remembered I'd left my wallet down in Tseng's car.  It was a very cold day.  I lit the fire then went down to get my wallet before he drove off."

            "You're kidding me?"  Reeve asked horrified.

            "I wish I were.  Another one. First year I came to Shinra, we went out drinking to celebrate at one of the new bars that had just opened up on the plate.  I was in a good, shit faced mood by the time we left. 

"Every year till then, the bad luck had followed me.  But now I had landed a well paying, successful job.  I thought my luck had changed.  Tseng took me on a guided drunken tour through one of the reactors.  Anyway he was showing me how beautiful the glowing mako pools looked from the pipes above.  A small group of terrorist thought they'd choose that exact moment to let off a small bomb near the foundations as I was leaning over the pipe to get a better look.  Tseng caught me, but the shaking caused the fumes to rise from the pool.  I got a slight case of mako poisoning, needless to say.  I was in the hospital for a fortnight."

"You really weren't kidding were you?"  Reeve said shocked.

There was no doubt as to why Reno might want to forget about his birthday this year.  After all it seemed as though things like this had happened every year to the poor man, apart from the instances Reno had just told him.  

Reno looked, for all the world, like a scared little kid.  If the stories hadn't been so shocking, Reeve might've been amused at the odd look.

Reeve put down the comb and knelt in front of Reno, his hands resting on the other man's knees.  "We could just stay in."  Reeve suggested.  "Get some wine, light some candles."

"Not sure I want to temp fate again by lighting anything other than a cigarette."

"Pity your not still on suspension, we could have gotten out of Midgar for the week.  Go down to Costa Del Sol.  Warm air, beautiful beaches.  I know I could get the week off, but I doubt Tseng would be to thrilled if you asked so soon."

Reno seemed to think about the proposition for a while.  "Leave Midgar?  You know, I've never been out of Midgar on my birthday.  Maybe that's the curse." He muttered.

Reeve stood and reached for his robe.  "Yeah well, I'm sorry I bought it up.  I didn't make you think about such things if you can't go."

"What about just for the weekend?  I really doubt Tseng's about to trust me alone in the office for a whole two days by myself just yet."  He looked back up to Reeve again.  "Did you mean it?  About going away?"

Reeve slipped the robe on and nodded.  "Why wouldn't I?  How could I miss the opportunity of going skinny dipping in the middle of the night with a gorgeous redhead in beautiful tropical waters?"

"Let's hope I'm right about Tseng then."  Reno said to Reeve as he made for the doorway.  

Suddenly Reno smirked, the last comment finally sinking in.  "Did you just call me gorgeous?"

Reeve stopped by the door, pure amusement written on his features.  "Nah, just a figure of speech."

Reeve disappeared out the door as a bowl of soggy cornflakes rebounded off the door frame.  

***********************************

Notes: So that was the not so stunning first chapter of "I Will Be The One." Not really knock your socks off, wow, material, but I'm just easing into it.  As if you all didn't want to just know how the boys were doing anyway.  Short chapter yes, next one will be longer.  Not only that but I will try to get into the plot a little more.  Special little note for those of you that complained about me cutting out all the juicy stuff; I won't do it as often in this part (as you can see by now), but I also won't go overboard as you have already noticed. After all that last scene was clean enough to read to your grandmother, but still, hopefully enough to quench the thirsts of you sex fiends out there.  "Monsters" has become something of a somewhat serious series for me and I think it gets to a point where too much smut can ruin the flow.  Yes! I am feeling well! Weird me saying that huh?  It was something I realized when I got up to the big getting it together scene in the last part and so have kept with.  I'll try to be kind to all with this one, but we'll see how long it lasts.  After all I have something planned out for the finale that may require a little ummmm heated undertone. Teehee.  But that is a long long way off yet.

            Mild smut makes the world go round.  Pure smut just makes it shake.

            Yeah, I'm a confused girl and for that I apologise.

            AF

anime_fearie@excite.com

All stories can be found on the 70th Floor Office at Neo Midgar

http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/


	2. Reno's First Day At School

I Will Be The One.

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter 2 

Reno's first day at school.

            Reno paused at the double glass doors and stared numbly at them for a few moments, his mind blank.

            Reeve stopped a few paces ahead, noticing Reno's reluctance.  

            "You alright Reno?"  he asked concerned.

            _Of course I'm not alright.  _

            Under normal circumstances Reno would have been overjoyed to be allowed back to work.  However so many things seemed to nag his mind.

            _'You are a monster'_

            "I'm fine."  He lied.

            Reno willed himself to follow Reeve into the building proper and up to the elevator bank.

            As they waited for the elevator, Reno cast an uncertain look over the foyer and the many people that occupied it.  Most people ignored him as he stood there patiently.  However, there were the odd one or two people that glanced at him and shot him looks.  The looks were too fleeting, and Reno never had a chance to read into their meaning.

            The elevator arrived with an audible 'ping' and he and Reeve entered the cab.

            Once the doors were safely closed he turned to Reeve, in confusion.

            "How many people know about what happened?"

            "About what exactly?"

            "Tariff."  Reno stated hesitantly.

            Reeve took a deep breath, taking his time to answer.  "Officially, he was killed by a terrorist group whilst on duty in sector two.  I doubt that anybody outside the Turks or their direct superiors really know what happened.  Even the official story has been kept fairly secret."

            Reno nodded, half expecting the answer.

            "It's just that...I dunno," he shrugged, "thought I caught a few weird looks as I came in."

            That said, Reno just realised the ridiculousness of his paranoia.  Were the looks so different than what he was used to?  He was a Turk after all.

            Reeve relaxed somewhat.  Glad that Reno hadn't dwelled on the subject of Tariff. A subject Reno was still a little raw about.

            "For a while a few rumours did circulate about a mysterious gunman that single-handedly took out the remainder of one of the most feared terrorist groups in Midgar."

            Despite his mood, Reno allowed a small grin.  

            "Oh that.  And people knew it was me?"

            "Not necessarily.  Some witnesses in the surrounding buildings were able to give a vague description of the perpetrator.  You've got to admit, there isn't a lot of people in Midgar, with your skills that would fit the description.  But I wouldn't worry, the situation gave you something of a heroic status around here for a while.  Especially when you take some of the other rumours into consideration."

            "Other rumours?"  Reno asked.

            Reeve fought to keep the smile from creeping up onto his face.

            "The rumours that are circulating about this 'hero' going into the terrorist lair to save a girl.  It's all very romantic."

            Reno nudged Reeve in the ribs gently.  "Wipe the smile off your face, it's not funny."

            Regardless, Reno was still smiling.

            "You never know this might make you very popular with the ladies."  Reeve joked.

            "Heh, As if I wasn't already."  He stated straight away. Then,

            "Hang on, shouldn't you be jealous or something?"

            "I'm too amused to be jealous."

            "Yeah well, let's see how amused you are when I bring one of them home for a threesome."

            Reeve just shook his head and chuckled. "Very funny Reno.  I might start to think that you've begun to tire of me."

            Reno looked over at Reeve, his face at least partially serious.  "You know, if there weren't security cameras in these elevators, I'd show you just how wrong you are about that statement."

            "Even if there weren't,"  Reeve said pointing up at the digital display above the doors, "you wouldn't have time."

            On cue, the door slid open to reveal the brightly lit corridor.

            Reno sighed and stepped out of the elevator onto his floor.  

            "I'll see you at lunch right?"  Reeve asked.

            Reno's expression had reverted back to the one that had occupied his face just outside the building.

            "I'll come up if I get the time."  Reno assured.

            Reeve tried to smile reassuringly as the doors closed, but Reno hadn't been paying attention.  The elevator continued its journey taking Reeve up to his floor.

            Reno began his trek down the corridor toward Tseng's office, his better mood from the elevator forgotten.

            He found Tseng leaning against his desk, idly flicking through a folder in his hands.  The moment he sensed Reno's presence he looked up at the stern faced red-head and closed the file.

            "Welcome back."  Tseng greeted coolly.  "Have a seat."

            Reno obeyed, setting himself down into his usual seat and forced himself to keep his eyes up and locked onto Tseng.  He stubbornly refused to show Tseng any signs of his true feelings.  Not when Tseng already had the upper hand.

            Tseng went and sat behind his desk and re-opened to file he'd been looking at previously.  For a few seconds he seemed to be reading.  Soon he looked up and addressed his subordinate.

            "You'll be re-instated to your former rank within the Turks.  Same pay, same roster.  There will be certain restrictions on your duties for the time-being though and your level of clearance will be temporarily cut down.  Also there are certain requirements that you need to fulfil before you come back onto the active duty roster."

            "Yes Sir."  Reno affirmed dutifully.

            Tseng eyed him at his lack of response, but continued undeterred.

            "Three times a week you will be required to attend Turk training classes with the new batch of recruits.  The classes will include tactics, discipline and combat."

            Tseng stopped and cleared his throat.  "Now as far as the classes are concerned, the recruits will see you as an instructor of sorts.  We do not need them or anyone else to think that our active Turks need this treatment.  We still have a reputation to keep and neither Heidigar nor myself believe it is wise for people to question the skills of the Turks.  Any submissions of work or questions will go directly to me."

            Reno just nodded.

            "Also, it has been requested that you attend sessions with the company psychologist twice a week."

            Reno kept his eyes glued to Tseng, but his resolved wavered slightly at the order.

            "The reason for this is that under the new probationary measures you have to go through, you must keep your stress and emotions out of your work.  I won't lie to you.  Your actions will be carefully watched for a while and I don't want you to suffer under the pressure.  All these measures are for your own good, and they will last for as long as necessary until either myself or Heidigar are appeased.  Understand?"

            "Yes Sir."

            Tseng flipped the folder shut and stood.  He came around the front of the desk and perched himself on it, close to Reno.

            "Reno?"

            "Yes Sir?"

            The hard look on Tseng face seemed to relax a little.  

            "Stop with the 'Sir' shit for a second, I want to talk to you."

            Reno blinked up at him in surprise but said nothing.

            "I can't tell whether your nervous, angry or depressed so will you stop acting like a robot for a second."

            Reno turned slightly and eyed the open door warily.

            Catching sight of this Tseng stood, went over and closed the door.  Then he returned to his place by the desk.

            "Okay your safe from prying ears."  Tseng assured.  "I just wanted to know why your acting like this.  Is it what I said in the hospital?  Are you trying to live up to some sort of ideal manner that you think I expect?  Or did I become the bad guy somewhere along the line and you don't want to show me your true face."

            "I don't know what to think or feel."  Reno eventually admitted.  "I don't even know if I belong here anymore."

            For the first time in almost a year Tseng actually looked sympathetic toward Reno.

            "I can understand that.  You've had a long time to think about things.  Something that I feel is never a good thing for people with our kind of jobs.  From the first time you're hired you're programmed to not have to think about trivial emotions.  They want a group of warriors who won't regret or question orders.  However, I feel that the human mind is not something that can be easily told what to do.  No matter what conditioning you go through your sub-conscience is always at work always thinking, even if you yourself doesn't realise it.  Trying to pretend that you don't care when you do can be more hazardous in the long run if you don't sort through your thoughts as they come to you.  If you care you should ask yourself why.  Doing what you were told and repressing it can be very damaging."

            "You teach the new recruits to repress their feelings though.  How can you preach that if you don't condone it."

            "Yes well, there is also no point in being a Turk if you have to second guess everything. I can't have my men breaking down every time they are called to act.  But for someone with your experience, I feel it is necessary for you to sort through your subconscious thoughts before you can continue.  That is why I recommended the sessions with the doctor for you.  One little incident can cause other things to resurface, things you otherwise wouldn't have considered."

            Reno immediately saw what Tseng was saying.  "You think I'm going to agonize over what happened to Tariff."

            "That was one concern."

            Reno kept himself calm and cold.  "Why do you think I would care so much about that?"

            Tseng drew back slightly in surprise.  He didn't know what to say to that comment.  

            "Why should I care more about Tariff than any other man or woman I've killed?  There's no reason why he deserves more respect than any one of them that have fallen by my hand."

            "He was your co-worker.  A Turk."

            Reno looked Tseng in the eye.  His intense blue eyes staring coldly into his.  "Considering what we do for a living, perhaps a Turk's life should be held with less respect than any other."

            Tseng moved to kneel on the floor in front of Reno.  

            "Reno, surely you can't mean that.  Would you prefer to see me or Rude dead as much as the men you fight?"

            Reno's gaze softened slightly at the question.  "No.  But I might change my tune about you if you keep with the speeches."

            Tseng allowed a small smile.  "I think I can start to see some of the old Reno again.  For a while there you had me worried."

            _Tseng since when did you worry about me?  Or are you just worried that your protégé might not be there to take over after you've gone?_

_            "I'm cool.  It just seems wrong of us to think we deserve any better treatment that the guys we leave in the street to rot ya' know."_

            "I understand.  But it would be better for you if you kept those thoughts just between us.  I don't want Heidigar to think that you view Shinra with no better respect than the terrorists that band against them."

            "That there's traitor talk."  Reno agreed.

            Tseng nodded and stood, motioning for Reno to follow.  

            "Well we have a new intake of Turk recruits to deal with, we might as well go and introduce ourselves.  Consider this your first day in class."

            Reno also stood.  

            "Swell."

            Reno followed Tseng down to the training area on one of the lower floors.  They entered a large room similar to the upstairs gym where four young men were waiting patiently for their arrival.  Reno couldn't get over how young they all looked.

            As he and Tseng crossed the floor Reno leaned over to whisper to Tseng.

            "Where did you find these guys?  In the schoolyard?"

            Tseng gave him a  slight smile.  "Many of these boys aren't much younger than you Reno.  You seem to forget that a lot."

            "You're saying that I'm a kid?"

            "Hardly.  You have more life experience than most men at the age of fifty.  However your actual age is that of still of young man."

            They approached the men and stood facing the small semi-circle.

            Tseng pulled his 'business' mask over his face and gave the boys a cool smile.

            "Welcome to Shinra Inc."

            A couple of the boys nodded in response but the other two just kept their eyes firmly on the two Turks.  Wonder and amazement written clearly over their features.

            Reno stood slightly behind Tseng, off to one side, a bored look firmly in place as Tseng began the introduction.

            "You have been selected from either within the company, from the SOLDIER program or off the street because Shinra feels that you men may have what it takes to become a Turk. At this point I would like to stress the word 'may'.  Unlike the SOLDIER program and trooper recruits, a passing grade does not necessarily mean that you are immediately accepted into our ranks.  At the moment the Turks are three men strong, and that means that I have, what I deem to be, a full compliment at the moment.  Recruits are trained every year in case I need a replacement within my ranks.  Unless one of my men is severely injured, killed or quits, I really have no need to use any of the recruits I have trained for the past year."

            "I have a question."  One of the guys spoke up.  "Why ditch four men that you have trained for an entire year?  Doesn't that seem a little...."

            "Unfair?"  Tseng finished.

            The boy nodded.  "Yeah I mean it sounds like we're just wasting our time.  We're only here on the off chance that you loose one of your current Turks."

            "As I have mentioned, the Turks are not like troopers or SOLDIERS, we do not thrive on numbers.  We thrive on skill.  But I will add that even if my Turks are still well and accounted for at the end of the year, I may still accept people for positions or at least to receive more in depth training.  However, this happens only rarely, and only when a person exhibits extemporary skill for the work.  Only the best survive here.  It is very likely that three of two of you will not last the year.  And extremely possible that those that are left will not be accepted.  I will make one thing clear, you are not here as a favour to Shinra.  Shinra is doing you a favour by even letting you try out for such a position within their ranks.  If you don't think you can handle this then you are most welcome to leave at any time, I will not beg you to stay.  Should you leave now I will get in contact with another that can accept the possibility of failure just so he will be granted the esteem to at least try."

            The boy nodded and said no more.

            "You will have classes five days a week, and unless you are deathly ill you will not miss a single one.  I will hand out your schedule as you leave.  Any more questions?"

            The four remained silent.  Reno noticed that the boy that had spoken seemed to be thinking rather in-depth.  Perhaps reconsidering, Reno mused.

            "Good."  Tseng said after a moment.  "My name is Tseng and I am the leader of the Turks.  I will be teaching three of your classes throughout the week, your other classes will be taught by various instructors.  Any questions you may have through the year, feel free to visit my office to discuss them whenever I am available."

            Tseng turned slightly and motioned toward the silent re-head behind him.  "This is one of my Turks, Reno.  He will be available to field any questions during classes and will be accompanying me to the three classes I have you for.  He will be there as an instructor and you will treat him with the same respect as you would myself or any other instructor."

            Tseng smirked slightly.  "I trust you will be respectful to him as he will be sparing with a few of you during combat training."

            At the comment a few nervous looks were passed between the recruits.  Obviously they didn't like the idea of having to go up against an experienced Turk.  Personally Reno couldn't blame them one bit.  True he had once fallen to Tariff, but Tariff had been trained for two years before he had become a Turk.  Reno may've had the experience, but Tariff had two years of expert training.  Something Reno had never had even one full year of.  These boys were new.  They probably knew how to fight, but basics would only get them so far.       

            Reno offered the recruits a feral smile.

            Maybe his punishment wouldn't be so bad after all.

*********************************************

            From his vantage point on the 69th, Reeve could barely make out the tiny dots of people as they scurried about the plaza below.  A few taxis and cars sped about on the streets below, people walked back and forth across the sidewalks going about their everyday lives.  It was peaceful to Reeve.  Soothing and tranquil.  It was good for him to watch these streets.  Calming his nerves.

            He was worried.  He knew Reno would have only come up to see him if he had the time.  But he still worried. 

            He knew Reno was nervous about his first day back and Reeve was itching to know how he was coping.  It was unlike Reno to get nervous about anything, so when he did, Reeve knew there must be good reason to be.

            Easing away from the window he turned back to his desk and eyed the brown paper bad sitting atop it.  The bag smelt delightfully of cheeseburger and fries, enough for two.  Reno was over half an hour late for lunch.

            _If he can't make it, he can't make it._

            Over the past month Reeve had gotten used to the notion that Reno would always be there whenever Reeve wanted him to be.  Reno was on suspension and had had little else to do during his days other than visit friends, occasionally the gym and plot his next prank against Rufus.  He was there when Reeve got home of a night and there when he left again in the morning to go to work.  If Reeve wanted to see him on his lunchbreak, Reno would be free and would meet with him promptly.

            Reeve conceded that he had been somewhat spoilt from the attention and only was just realising how much less they were likely to see each other now that Reno had his job back.  It wasn't just about the lunch.  From previous times he knew how erratic Reno's work schedule was, today was just a little reminder of what Reeve would now have to get used to.

            He turned away from his desk again and back to the window. He wasn't particularly hungry anymore.

            _I'm acting like a spoilt little brat that's been robbed of his favourite toy._

_            'toy'_

_            The thought made Reeve chuckle slightly.  Reno was hardly a toy, but the metaphor was still apt.  Only now was he forcing himself to realise just how much he liked spending time with Reno.  The cocky red-head with a mischievous streak a mile long.  He had an ability to look at the world and see it differently from most others. His absurd notions and sardonic insights into people, and their environments were somewhat refreshing.  If nothing else thoroughly amusing._

            "Oblivious aren't they?"

            Reeve was startled by the sudden voice beside him. he swung round to face the voice, his breath having caught in his throat.

            "Mr Shinra?"

            Immediately he went to stand, but Rufus waved him down.

            "Merely a social visit.  You looked bored."

            "Just thinking."  Reeve told him. "And looking at the view."

            Rufus nodded and propped himself against the side of the desk, moving the brown paper bag slightly to give himself room. 

            "Not eating?"

            "I thought I was hungry, but I'm not so sure now.  It's yours if you want it."

            "Don't want too steal your lunch, Mr Evans."  He said pointedly.

            "Mr Evans?  Please, you can call me Reeve."  Reeve said humbly.

            Rufus gave him a sly smile.  "Only when you stop calling me 'Mr' or 'Vice President Shinra'.  At least in social situations."

            Reeve took the hint.  "Sorry.  Rufus.  There's plenty there, help yourself."

            Rufus shook his head.  "I never eat alone, if you're so insistent you'll have to join me. You said yourself there's plenty.  Enough for two perhaps?"

            Reeve looked up at the man who was talking to him in great wonder.  The last few times he had spoken to Rufus, he had been...different.  Cold almost.  This was definitely a change for the better.

            He glanced down at his watch again, noting the time for the fifth time during the last half hour.

            "Deal."  Reeve said decisively.  "I probably should eat something."

*********************************

            Reno and Tseng watched as the last of the recruits filed out of the gym after their first orientation class.  A few looked excited, once looked confused and the other looked thoroughly depressed.  Reno doubted that the last boy would last much longer.

            "Interesting group."  Tseng mused out loud.  "Honestly though I tend to think that none of them will make the cut."

            "They may surprise you."  Reno answered, his attention focussed on the room around them.

            "This is the SOLDIER practise area isn't it?"

            "We share."  Tseng answered.  "The facilities are everything we need.  We just have to work around that program's times.  Have you even been in a gym in the past month Reno?"

            "Yes."  Reno answered defensively.  Then, "Probably not as much as I should have been.  But it's hard to go through the routine by yourself."

            Indeed Reno had found it hard to remain focussed in the public gyms.  He'd get to the point where he had to go through his combat training and he suddenly found all eyes trained on him and what he was doing.  Another problem he had was the lack of sparing partners.  You could only do so much with a punching bag, and they also didn't fight back.  Once he'd tried to get in on one of the kickboxing sessions, but he found it hard to keep with the style.  Not many people would fight him, and those that did stuck fixedly with the classic kickboxing style.  During the sessions he found himself reverting back to his own highbred style.  It was difficult for his opponents counter his moves and he ended up hurting his partners more often than he'd like to remember.

            A few times he'd found himself wandering through the slums late at night after Reeve had gone to sleep.  The first time he'd done it he hadn't consciously realised why he'd come here.  He just aimlessly wandered.  He had finished the night picking a fight.  A drunk in a bar had taken to forcing his cheap moves onto the poor waitress that was serving him.  To her own credit that woman could have handled the situation, talking him down.  But Reno had seemingly jumped at the chance to pick the fight.  Naturally he'd won, breaking several bones in his wandering hand and rendering the offensive man unconscious.

            It had been a silly reason to get into a fight, but Reno had been drawn into it easily.  At first he'd just told himself that it was good practise.  Nothing like a bar fight to help you back into your routine.  But he had left wondering if that's all it had really been.  

            "I suppose."  Tseng allowed.  "Don't suppose you'd care to show me if you're still capable?"

            "As if you thought I was capable even when I was on active duty."  Reno muttered to himself.

            "What?"

            "Sure, I'm game."

            Tseng smiled slightly and took off his jacket.

            "Now?"  Reno asked watching his boss loosen his tie.

            "No time like the present."

            "Don't you have to get me to mop the floors Heidigar's office or something?"

            "If you mean that I should be getting on with you're new routine, the answer is yes.  But as it so happens, this is something I will have to go through with you eventually anyway."

            "To see if I've lost it?"  Reno asked sourly.

            "Perhaps not in such negative terms, but yes."

            Reno shrugged and took of his own jacket.

            "Will you give me extra marks if I don't fight back?"  Reno joked.

            Tseng led them over to the mats and took up his stance.

            "Actually the more you are able to beat me up, the more marks you will get."

            Tseng waited until Reno was ready.

            "Begin."

            Reno moved first.  He lashed out with his right fist, the powerful punch catching only air as Tseng deftly moved out of the way and let loose on his own hit.  Tseng's fist narrowly missed Reno as he sprung back.

            "Your definitely as fast as you used to be."  Tseng remarked.

            Reno smirked, "Why? Who have you been talking to?"

            Tseng almost laughed, his concentration thrown.  It lasted only a second, but for Reno it was enough.  He went low and flung his foot around, contacting with Tseng's ankles.

            The older man was flung off his feet and landed roughly on his back.  

            Reno didn't follow through on the move, hanging back, waiting for Tseng to rise.  Tseng flipped himself back onto his feet and looked at Reno warily.  

            "New tactic?  Distract your partner with your gutter mouth?"

            "Worked didn't it?"

            Tseng didn't respond.  Instead he advanced on Reno speedily, closing the small distance quickly.  Reno could see him coming easily.  He sprung up and swept his foot back around.  However the move did nothing.  He landed and looked around.  Tseng was waiting and managed to nail him with, two open palms connecting with Reno's chest.  The hit knocked Reno's wind out and sent him sprawling backward.

            All too late Reno realised what Tseng had done.  He had made an obvious lunge for Reno, but instead of going through with it had tricked him and pulled up short.  All he had to do then was wait calmly for the best chance to strike.

            For a few moments, Reno lay there wheezing.  Eventually he began to breath a little easier and got back to his feet.

            "Your being to hasty Reno.  Wait till you absolutely know what I am about to do before you launch a strike of your own."

            Tseng looked at Reno a little more closely.  "I didn't mean to hit you that hard though.  Are you alright?"

            Reno nodded, but it was obvious that he was lying.

            "That'll do for now." Tseng told him.  "At the end of your probation I'll give you a longer stretch to show me what you can do."

            "I can do better."  Reno told him defensively.  "Don't stop because you don't think I can take it or something."

            "Reno I wouldn't exactly say you lost.  Your forgetting that it was my back on the mat not a few minutes before yours."

            Tseng pat him on the back and went back for his jacket.

            "Kind of reminds me of when we used to practise together all the time."  Tseng mused.

            "I believe you stopped that when you no longer had a vested interest in our sparing sessions."  

            Tseng tried to keep his face neutral, though he did speak in a more subdued tone.  "At least then you tended not to complain so much about having your back on the mats.  The real reason they stopped was because you no longer needed my training, you know that."

            _At least that's what you told me. Reno thought.  ___

_            "So what's the next on the rehabilitation agenda?"  Reno asked offhandedly._

*******************************************************

            "Honey, I'm home!" Reno called as he entered Reeve's apartment.  

            He dropped the spare keys on the table and headed for the kitchen.   He found Reeve bent over in front of the open fridge.

            "Bit late night for the cheese isn't it?"  He asked regarding Reno's welcome.  "I couldn't resist."

            Reeve plucked two beers fro one of the shelves and closed the door.  

            Handing one to Reno he said, "Busy day?"

            "Yeah, you could say that.  Sorry 'bout not coming up to see you, but Tseng felt the sudden need to give me all the work that has been piling up on my desk for the past month."

            "Nice of him." Reeve muttered.

            Reno dismissed Reeve's worries with the wave of his hand.  "He's not bitching at me too much.  Actually he's being real nice apart from the whole workload thing."  Reno screwed up his face.  "It's kind of creeping me out.  I guess I've gotten so used to him yelling at me.  Hope I didn't screw up your plans too much."

            Reeve took a sip of his beer.

            "In fact I had lunch with Rufus today."

            "Really?"  Reno asked surprised.  "I haven't heard from him in a little while.  I guessed that he was a little too busy with Wendy to want to go drinking with his friends anymore."

            "He fired Wendy a while ago.  He said, and I quote; 'there are some things that even sex can't make up for'."

            Now Reno looked shocked.  "Rufus said /that?/  Don't tell me Rufus has gotten sick of hollow sex with gorgeous but dim-witted woman.  My whole world  as I know it would start to crumble.  Has he got a new plaything or something?"

            "If your talking about the new secretary, I'm afraid you're out of luck.  The woman has got to be older than Professor Hojo."

            Reno groaned, "Now there's a name that gives me the creeps.  I've gotta go see him tomorrow for a physical.  I'm starting to dread going back to work.  First Rufus has gone weird, Tseng is being nice and I've gotta go see Professor Weirdo tomorrow."

            "Why do you have to see Hojo?"  Reeve asked confused.  "I thought he was  a research scientist, not Shinra's designated MD."

            Reno started to fidget with the bottle in his hands.  "Yeah well, It's not like I'm really supposed to go to any regular doctors other than in an emergency.  Me and Tseng both."

            "Why?  Shinra thinks that there's risk in that?  Somebody might poison you or something?"

            "It's more like, Hojo knows our basic physiology than any outside doctor could."

            "Reno?"

            Reno fell silent for a moment and contemplated the idea of telling Reeve about his little physical alterations.  Finally he decided that it could really do no harm in telling him.  After all there were plenty of SOLDIERS out there that had way many more things done to them, and most of it was public knowledge.

            Reno grabbed Reeve's hand and pulled him closer.  Close enough to stand almost eye to eye with each other.

            "I know you've looked at me strangely a few times, especially in a dark room. Why?  Apart from the obvious of course."

            Reeve stood there for a few moments in silence before responding.  "I didn't think anything of it till you bought it up just now...."

            "And?"

            "Your eyes."  Reeve answered softly. "Sometimes when you look straight at me, I dunno.... I mean you have these bright blue eyes.  No matter how dark, sometimes I can still...."

            Reno tugged Reeve's chin up to look at him straight in the eye.  "Look at me closely."

            Reeve obeyed.  For a while he just stood there and gazed at the other man.

            "They're so bright, they almost glow."

            "Almost."  Reno confirmed.  "That's the mako."

            "Mako?  You mean like a SOLDIER?"

            "Not quite to that degree.  But yeah, sort of.  I suppose it makes us harder to kill or something."

            Reeve took a step back, creating some space between them.  "You and Tseng?  What about Rude?"

            "I don't think he got the treatments, don't ask me why.  It's not something we talk about in general conversation."

            "Why didn't you tell me any of this before?"

            Reno shrugged.  "I didn't think it was important.  It's not like I have an STD or something."

            "I guess."  Reeve agreed. Suddenly he smiled.  "I always thought you had a special glow about you Reno.  Only now I learn it's artificial."

            "Hardy har.  Be good or I'll make you glow in a minute."

**********************

            Reeve propped himself up on his elbow and gazed at the man beside him.

            "You can still move after that?"  Reno asked, breaking the silence in the dark bedroom.  

            Reeve smiled and ran a free hand through Reno's unbound hair.

            "It's not like I feel like going for a jog."  Reeve answered.  "Just refreshed."

            "Hmmm, well I think that was a bash against my skills."

            "Not at all.  Maybe I don't want to go to sleep just yet."

            "Why's that?"  Reno asked sleepily.

            "I guess I'll be seeing a little less of you from now on."  Reeve muttered a little unhappily.

            Reno smirked.  "Gotten a little used to me being at your beck and call?"  he joked.

            "A little."  Reeve admitted.  "Guess it'll take me a while to get used to the fact that I have to share you with others."

            "Just my time Reeve.  You make it sound like my job is like having an affaire d'amour."

            Reeve laughed slightly at Reno's statement.  "You know what I mean."

            "Hmmm?  Getting a little possessive aren't we?"

            "I can't help it."

            _I love you._

            Reeve's eyes almost bugged as the thought formed in his mind.

            "Something wrong?"  Reno asked looking at Reeve closely.

            _I don't 'love' him do I?  I mean he's my best friend, of course I love him.  But I don't 'love' him love him.  Do I?_

            "You look kinda pale."  Reno said, his brows creasing.  "Does it really bother you that much?"

            Reeve shook himself out of his reverie.

            "'Course not, I'm just being weird.  Just something I'll have to get used to."

            He may as well have been talking about his own thoughts rather than Reno's_ job._

*******************************************

Notes:  told you it would be longer. Not much but a start.  Well Reno's first day back was certainly interesting ne?  Okay so I'm still trying to get back into the swing a bit. Wow things certainly look all comfy and cosy for our two boys doesn't it?  Almost sickening isn't it?  Hmmmm, well…Neway, look out for the next chapter, I won't give anything away.

AF 

_anime_fearie@excite.com___

_All stories can be found on the 70th Floor Office at Neo Midgar_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/___


	3. Psychoanalysing A Deranged Killer

I Will Be The One.

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter 3

Psychoanalysing A Deranged Killer.

            "Reno isn't it?"

            Reno looked over at the woman standing in the office doorway.  She was dressed in a crisp grey suit, fitting nicely into every curve in her body.  A pair of clear grey eyes looked out at him from behind a pair of small trendy glasses, dark brown hair bundled up in a tight knot and her full lips smiling and painted a modest shade of pearl lipstick.

            Reno swallowed and stood as the woman beckoned for him to enter her office.

            Obediently he followed, careful not to trip over his tongue in the process.

            Once inside the confines of the office, she shut the door after him and turned to him with a warm smile.

            "My name is Dr. Caryla Ellson.  But you can call me Cary."

            Reno shook her hand and tired to look friendly.  "I guess you know who I am."

            Reno dutifully sat in the proffered chair across from her desk.  

            "Of course Reno.  I have been told a lot about you."  She sat leaning casually against the side of her desk.   

            "By who?"  Reno inquired curiously.

            "Mainly by your superior Tseng, but I have also read many of your reports and his as well as any notes your other superiors have logged.  I want you to know that unlike most people in the company, I know what you really do for a living Reno.  You and the rest of the Turks that is.  There is no need for you to hold back from me in any of your work related descriptions or feelings, and I would think it would be detrimental to the process if you did.  Also, most of what you say will not leave this room."

            "Most?  I thought there was supposed to be some sort of doctor patient relationship confidentiality here."  He said sourly.

            Cary sighed and nudged herself off the desk, crossing to sit down behind it.  "Shinra is still Shinra Reno.  Ethics don't usually come into play no matter how I argue with them.  However, anything pertaining to your personal life or subjects that you specifically don't want shared will not be taken down into my files.  That is from my own personal judgement and I would not wish to lose your trust Reno to be quite honest. Specific things you tell me will not be taken down, but my own personal notes will be read by your superiors.  It is unfortunate and I didn't really want to tell you, but I believe you have a right to know, even after Tseng mentioned that you might be a little unresponsive to my questions."

            Cary pushed her glasses further up onto her nose.

            "Do you usually find it hard to talk about your feelings to other people?"

            Reno huffed. "I thought you knew about my job.  Of course I don't talk about stuff like that, Turks aren't supposed to /feel/ anything.  Which is also why I think this is a complete waste of time."

            He stopped momentarily and looked at her more closely.  

            "Well maybe it wasn't a complete waste of time."

            Cary looked unfazed by the attempted compliment.

            "Very forward, aren't you Reno."  It was not a question.

            "If the occasion calls for it."

            "That's good, it'll help."  she said confidently.  "And just because your job requires a certain amount of cold detachment, it doesn't mean that it is an easy practise for any human being to accomplish."

            _'You force those feelings on yourself because it is the human way to feel.'_

_            "I am not just /any/ human being."  He answered diffidently.  "I am a Turk."_

            Cary eyed him for a second then looked down at her notes.  

            "Yes, and from what I can ascertain, a very good one at that.  You have been with the company for four years, and have shown your superiors some impressive skills.  However, you have also shown them how impressively you can, let's say, misbehave."

            Reno stayed silent at the barb.  His whole being focussed on when the session would end.

            "Especially in the last year.  Disobeying direct orders, dereliction of duty, disregard for basic safety protocols...and others too numerous to recount."

            Reno rolled his eyes.  "You sound like Tseng."

            Cary closed the folder in front of her.  "How is your relationship with your boss Tseng?"

            Reno sat up at the question. "What do you mean?"

            "He expressed a certain amount of worry when I saw him yesterday.  I gathered that your friendship was close."

            He just shrugged, "Yeah I guess.  Sometimes we get along fine, sometimes he spends his time yelling at me.  He's my boss and I respect him."

            "Is it that simple?  Would you give your life for him?"

            Reno didn't have to think about that one.  "Yes."

            "Even when he's yelling at you?"

            "Yes."  Reno insisted.

            "Okay."  Cary nodded.

            "He tells me that you have a healthy amount of friends here in Shinra.  May I ask who?"

            Reno looked at her oddly.

            "I would like to get some background on you Reno.  Who you hang out with, what you do in your spare time as well as your working life. I'm not going to go and question them or anything.  I'm here to help you."

            Reno relented.  "I guess you could say the rest of the Turks and a couple of people in higher management."

            "Specifically?"

            _Geez this woman is nosy._

            But he guessed that it was her job to be.  

            Reno decided to recite the usual bar troupe. "Rude, Tseng, Rufus and Reeve mainly I guess.  Oh and Rude's friend Maggie."

            Reno hoped he hadn't given anything away whilst he had spoken.  Especially in the way he may have said Reeve's name.

            "Vice-President Rufus Shinra?"  Cary asked a little taken back.

            Reno let a smug look creep onto his face.  "Yeah you know the spoilt little rich bastard that has the obscenely large office up on the 69th."

            Cary seemed to have paled slightly

            "I see.  Umm I won't put /that/ comment in my notes.  You don't like him?"

            "It's not that I don't like him, It's just the way I talk about him.  Don't worry it's not like I'm talking this way behind his back.  I would never say anything about him that I wouldn't say to his face."

            The face Cary was pulling was close to the one Reeve had first pulled when Reno had openly slagged the vice president to his face.  She seemed eager to move onto a different subject.

            "And Reeve?"

            Reno briefly wondered how to handle this one.  Should he risk it and tell her the truth?  

            _Reeve?  Well I'm fucking him._

            "Reeve Evans, Head of Urban Development."

            "Yes, I think I've seen him around. Tall, dark hair?"

            Reno nodded.

            "Do you have to same relationship with him as you do with the Mr Shinra?  A trading of insults of sorts?"  She asked, her eyes completely focussed on the man before her.

            Reno subtly bit his lip in an attempt not to grin like an idiot.

            "Nah, Reeve's different.  He's like my best friend I guess."

            _Well at least it was truthful._

            "Your closest friend?"  Cary asked.

            "I guess you could say that.  I've known him for the shortest time though."

            "Do you talk to him about work?"

            Reno shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  "I could but then I'd have to kill him."

            Cary looked at little shocked at his statement.

            "I was just kidding, ya know, a joke."

            Cary visibly relaxed a little.  "So you don't really talk to him much?"

            "What I can, sometimes.  Mostly there ain't a real lot to talk about."

            Cary nodded and made a note.

            "What about Rude?"

            Reno raised his eyebrows.  "What /about/ Rude?"

            "What's he like?"

            "A co-worker.  He used to be my partner in the Turks, we watch each others backs."

            "That sounded almost recited."

            "Rude's not a real emotive guy, what can I say.  Most of the time we make jokes and talk about shop ya know."

            "What about this friend of his?  Maggie."

            "She's a cool gal, I like her."

            Cary leaned forward on the desk.  "It was Maggie that you saved on that unofficial mission a little while back, wasn't it?"

            Reno couldn't help but smile.  "I don't know what you are talking about.  At the time that Maggie was taken I was on suspension.  I only knew because Tseng had to question me about it."

            Cary did not smile.  "You needn't lie to me Reno.  Even if I were inclined to tell on you, do you really think that your superiors don't know it wasn't you?"

            "I've heard the rumours Doctor."

            "You didn't answer my question."

            "Then you should ask ones I can answer."

            Cary leaned back in annoyance.

            "Tell me about Tariff."

            The blunt question almost caused Reno to fall out of his chair.

            "What do you want to know?"

            "Tseng told me about the accident."

            "So?"

            Cary made a note before continuing.  

            "So, do you want to talk about it?"

            "If you've read the report there's nothing to tell."  He told her coldly.

            "I'm interested in what wasn't in the report.  Do you feel responsible for what happened?"

            Reno looked down at his open palms.  "Should I?"

            Cary watched him carefully for a few minutes, staying silent.

            "I think we should delve into that another time.  Right now maybe we should concentrate on you personally.  Do you have a girlfriend?"

            Reno actually laughed.  Quickly he pulled himself together and tired to look serious again.

            "No."

            "Boyfriend?"  She probed.

            "Depends what you class a relationship as these days."

            Cary sighed again in frustration.  "Are you having a romantic relationship with anyone at the moment?"

            "Some people might say that I don't have a romantic bone in my body."  He smirked.

            Cary was obviously getting more irritated.  "Sex?"

            "Sure.  Here, now?  Or do you want to wait till I get off work?"

            Cary sought to calm herself.  She took a few deep breaths before continuing.  "You know what I mean."

            Reno carefully debated continuing his joke.  Instead he realised that if he were too difficult he would only serve to infuriate Tseng again.

            "Yeah."

            "Regularly?"

            "Ya know, Doc, you seem a little too interested in my sex life."

            "Reno I want to know about your after work habits.  I already know about your drinking habits as well as a few more social things you do off your boss.  For now I would like to know about what you can only tell me.  Having a regular physical relationship is a good healthy thing to be involved in.  I find that most Turks and SOLDIERS I have talked to find it hard to form lasting relationships with people.  Something like that can be detrimental to your mental health if it carries on for too long.  Humans crave physical contact."

            There was that word again 'human'.

            "Yes regularly."

            "Anything serious?"

            "Sure we do a lot of serious things."  He joked.  Then, "Yeah I guess you could say that it kinda is."

            "So, your not sure?"

            "We don't really talk about it that much."

            "Do you think that any of your friends care that you are in a homosexual relationship?"

            Truth be told, Reno had never thought of it that way.  A 'gay' relationship.  Whether he was currently with a man or woman, it never really came down to classifying the differences between the two so starkly.  It almost made Reno laugh to realise how little difference it made to him nowadays. "Your assuming I'm gay."

            Cary slightly blushed.  "Oh, I just thought that....so this is a relationship with a woman."

            "No.  But that doesn't mean I don't like woman.  I thought you might have been able to tell from the remarks I gave you earlier."

            Now Cary did blush.

            "Oh, okay. Umm, so..."

            "I also don't feel the need to tell many of my friends about my social life."

            Cary made more notes. 

            "So none of them know."

            Reno thought for a moment.  "Three of them definitely know.  In my experience in Shinra you don't want any nasty rumours starting that may hurt careers."

            Cary nodded.  "No matter how much we think we live in modern times there are always those who find fault with people's sexual preferences I will admit.  But why not tell yours friends about it?  Do you feel ashamed?"

            Reno relaxed into his chair and crossed his arms.  "Takes me a lot to blush Doc.  Personally I wouldn't care if he fucked me in the center of the conference table in the middle of a board meeting. I wouldn't bat an eyelash."

            His crass wording was not lost on his audience.

            "So it was his idea to keep it a secret?  How does that make you feel?"

            "It wasn't his idea.  C'mon you work in this company, surely you know the dos and don'ts of social politics around here.  It was my idea if anything.  We both can do without the scandal.  They prefer just not to know around here."

            "So he works for Shinra?"

            Reno's left eyebrow twitched.  He felt like kicking himself.

            "You ever thought of joining the Turks?  You'd make a fabulous interrogator. Personally I've answered less questions under painful torture than I have with you."

            Cary smiled at that one.  "I think you realise that I'm here to help."

            "I think it's more the idea of loosing my job if I don't co-operate that's making me talk."

            "You don't think you need to be here?"  She asked curiously.  

            "To be honest I don't know why I am.  Okay so I seem a little screwed up at times, but hey, can anybody really say that they don't go a little weird every now and then."

            "Tseng is worried about you."  She stated.

            "Why?"

            Cary broke eye contact.  "I can't discuss that with you.  But I think he has valid reasons to be."

            "Oh please, indulge me."

            "I think your beginning to doubt yourself and your job.  Wondering if the means if worth the ends.  Wondering if this company is worth so many people dying for."

            Reno's expression turned cold.  "I like my job.  I'm a loyal Turk."

            "Loyalty to the Turks is different than loyalty to Shinra."

            "The Turks work for Shinra."

            "Doesn't mean you have to like it."

            Reno didn't respond.  His paranoia was flooding his senses.  Was this woman just trying to get him to confess to not being a good Shinra employee?  Follow orders and nod like they train you to do.  Didn't she realise that if he admitted to any of these questions that it would be grounds to have him fired?

            "Perhaps I'm not quite the lapdog that they had hoped for.  I /do/ disagree with some of their policies.  But that has never stopped me from doing my job."

            "Could there be a circumstance that would stop you?"

            "Possibly.  But not even Shinra ever goes so far as to just have us murder people for the hell of it. All the people we are sent after have done something, no matter how small."

            "Do you feel bad for any of these people?  Do you ever feel remorse?"

            "Not very often."  He admitted.

            "I know I said I didn't want to talk to you about this just yet.  But what about Tariff?  Your fellow Turk.  It was an accident.  But do you feel guilt?"

            Here Reno got a sudden case of déjà vu.  It was enough to make him start to squirm in his chair even.

            "To be a human I should.  But as a Turk I do not."

            Cary gave him a wary look.  "Human compassion is not something that can be trained out of a person. Surely you feel for him, surely you must think about it.  About all of them."

            "I do think about them, about him.  Thinking and feeling are two very different things and is not something I do before a mission.  As for human compassion, you're right.  It probably isn't something that can be broken in a person in such a little amount of time.  But you see it was not something that I had to learn to break away from.  Perhaps I wasn't even born with it.

_            'What does that make you?'_

            "You mistook my answer.  I meant to say that the value of human life to me isn't so great that it causes me to loose sleep about it.  There are very few people in this world that I believe have more right to live over any other people.  Any person that picks up a weapon are announcing to the world that they are prepared for the consequences that come with a battle.  That includes death.  I'm not saying that they deserve to die.  I simply believe that they no longer possess any more importance to live than the asshole that kills them.  

            "And by weapon I mean any form of implement that brings about suffering.  In many circumstances a man holding a pen can be more dangerous than a man with a loaded gun, and just as guilty.  

            "In fact these sessions, these talks make me reflect on things that I wouldn't normally have to deal with when left to my own devices.  Bad things in some situations.  So in many respects what you are dong to me is causing me to suffer.  Does that make you as nasty as the man with the gun?"

_I am not soulless!_

            "Do you usually think so much before you carry out your orders?  Does it make it harder to carry out?"

            Reno remained cold as he answered, his steady gaze boring into hers. "The truth of the matter is that frankly, although you yourself aren't immediately threatening, cause people to suffer, and if I were ordered to, I would kill you in a matter of seconds.   No matter of thinking or feeling after the fact would bring you back and no matter how much I talk about it later will change what has happened.  So why should I care either way?  Why mourn about it?  Why care?  I don't care or feel bad for Tariff.  About him yes.  For him, no.  Just as I wouldn't care or feel for you in such a circumstance. The only thing that would save you would be that if I thought about it before I committed the act.  Something that I am not trained to do, and something that I have never really done even before I came to Shinra.

_            But you are a monster._

            "Nobody cared when they took a pot-shot at me, so why the hell should I care about what I do to them?"  

                        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

            "Caryla, do you have a moment?"

            Cary looked up from her desk to the man standing in her doorway.  Immediately she smiled and ushered him inside.

            "Of course Tseng.  What can I do for you?"

            Tseng too the seat across from her desk.  "I think you know why I came."

            "You want to know how your star Turk is doing?"  she guessed.

            Tseng nodded.

            You know I can't tell you personal details of his life. But I won't hide the fact that he definitely has some severe emotional problems, that is, if I were compare him to any other person on the plate."

            "It's his job?"

            "Not necessarily.  He grew up in the slums, a very unkind place for a child.  I will admit though that he shares some common traits with many of the men I have interviewed from the SOLDIER program.  He can bring this mask of cold detachment over his face seemingly at will.  He doesn't even seem to think of consequences of some of his actions sometimes.  But that's not all.  Reno has some other personality traits that are somewhat interesting.  He changes moods like changing the channel on a TV.  At first he seemed fairly laid back, at ease.  He answered at few of my questions.  He was a little reluctant to talk too much about his social life, the relationships he has with others.  However, he became increasingly defensive when asked about certain topics. He would dodge the question entirely or even get a little nasty and throw me off with a bold statement.  Things he can't handle, he makes jokes about, in fact I would tend to believe that he may consider his whole life to be one big sick joke."

            Cary took a breath and removed her glasses.

            "What does all this mean?  Is he in some trouble?"

            "I've only spent one session with him Tseng, it's a little early to tell.  I've made allowances for him, but at the moment he's basically unresponsive to my help.  He's only answering the questions because he feels you'll berate him if he doesn't do as told.  Actually I think he might have a small complex to always want to please you.  It's very similar to what I've seen in sons wanting to do nothing but appease their fathers.  That's something else he didn't want to talk about.  His family.  He became quite agitated when I bought it up."

            "He doesn't talk to me about it either."  Tseng admitted.  "I just want to know if re-instating him was a bad move."

            "Honestly, I don't think you'll have any problems with his work.  Not as far as disobeying orders or losing his concentration is concerned.  In fact I believe you'll see a marked improvement in that regard.  Socially he may suffer though.  He may become more detached as time goes on.  I think this has been something that has been building for a while, at least that's what I can ascertain from your own personal notes. I also think that what happened with Tariff may have spurred it onwards even faster.  He thinks he lacks human compassion, and I truly think that he believes in that revelation whole heartedly, whether it is true or not.  The more he believes that, the more cold and distant he will become."

            Tseng reclined in his chair, absorbing what he had just been told.  He honestly didn't know how to react to the news. 

He still couldn't really believe all this anyway.  This was Reno they were talking about!  Reno was the man who would light a cigarette off a burning building just after blowing it up.  Nothing seemed to faze the young Turk.  Well, not most of the time.  Lately Tseng had noticed the subtle changes in his subordinate.  Enough to make him worried enough to ask Caryla to help out.

            "That's impressive work after just one day Doctor."

            "In cases such as this his moods were easy to spot, no matter how hard he tried to cover them up.  I would think that because I haven't known him before now, I have the ability to see in him what his friends and you might not."

            "This won't go down well with Heidigar."

            Cary shrugged.  "I may be wrong in my conclusions.  I will need more time with him to tell for sure.  However, I would not be so worried as to what Heidigar what think."

            "Why is that?"

            "Basically I have just told you that he is mentally turning himself into a stone cold professional, that wants nothing more than to impress his boss and therefore his boss' bosses."

            Tseng thought about it for a moment before agreeing.  "You're right.  They'll love it."

            "One more point Tseng."  Cary added reluctantly.  "Normally I wouldn't betray a patient's confidentiality like this, but there is something that I am rather concerned about.  I feel that if another person's safety might be in jeopardy I have an obligation to that other person."

            "What is it?"

            "Reno mentioned that he was in a fairly regular sexual relationship.  Now for someone like Reno I would hazard a guess that sex has been somewhat of a constant outlet for frustration and stress, and normally I would think that that is all this relationship might have to it.  I did, however, pick up on some deeper feelings whilst he talked on the subject.  He talked around many of my questions and seemed almost uncomfortable talking about it.  This is needless to say, odd behaviour from somebody who doesn't even look slightly bothered when making a blatantly sexual reference or suggestion.  Contrary to what he would have me believe, I think he really cares about this other person.  But if I'm right, and Reno does sink down into a severe depressive state, he could go back to taking out his frustrations with this other person.  Only this time, he might not see consequences or care what the other feels. He won't do it on purpose, he may not even have much control over his mental or physical being at this point.  And if he really does care deeply for this other person he may resent them for it.  Even hate them for making him feel things he doesn't think he should be feeling. This person may find themself in a very dangerous position and not realise it until it happens.  

"As I said before, slight things about Reno may change, but to someone who knows him, it will be so subtle as to not even be seen until it's too late."__

            Tseng's brow creased In worry as he heard what she was telling him.  He wasn't exactly surprised that Reno was having sex with someone.  Reno had never seemed to have problems finding anyone in that regard.  It did surprise him to learn that it was somewhat serious.  Tseng couldn't help but feel a little invidious at that realisation.

            "Do you know who it might be?"

            "No." she sighed, "I doubt I could tell you even if I did.  I've probably already said too much.  The matter is somewhat delicate."

            Tseng figured that it was probably a man then, or Caryla wouldn't be so evasive.

            "I thought you were telling me because you believe this person might be in danger."

            "I have no reason to think that Reno will do anything drastic, this is all mere speculation.  But in case it does turn drastic over the next couple of weeks, this person may need to be made wary of the unique situation."

            Tseng understood.  "You want me to find out who this person is."

            "No, at least not yet."

            "Isn't this a little hands-on for you Caryla?  I thought you were a psychologist. Normally I would have thought it unethical for you to meddle so actively."

            Cary sat forward and rested her arms on her desk.  "I wasn't hired by Shinra to just sit here and listen to people's problems as would normally happen.  I mostly deal with you and recruiting SOLDIER recruits.  I am under orders to seek out and possibly investigate any problems these men might have.  I was not hired to sit back on the sidelines and watch things happen.  I have made Reno aware of this.  However, if possible I would prefer to stay behind the scenes.  At least until I know for sure what will happen.  I have an obligation to report certain things when I believe a persons life is in danger."

            Tseng almost smiled.  "Reno is a Turk.  In his life there are several some ones whose lives are in danger."

            "His target's lives aren't my concern.  The lives of innocent people are."

**********************************

            _My ass is getting cold._

            Reno sat on a steel operating table against the far wall of the lab.  His clothes lay in an untidy pile over a nearby chair leaving him naked and shivering in the air conditioned room with only a sheet draping his lap to stave off the cool air.

            _If he prods me one more time I'm gonna shove my nightstick up his ass and push the button._

            All in all though it hadn't been too bad.  Compared to a lot of his other visits to the lab anyhow.  Those times had been just preceding and post his infusion.  He still couldn't understand the reason to run so many tests on him, after all Turks weren't given a lot of the treatment, but it seemed he had more visits up here than most of the SOLDIERS.

            Hojo was, for the moment, busying himself at one of the benches not too far away, scribbling some notes into a file.

            _More notes. _

_            Just like the good Doctor._

            He had stayed with Caryla most of the day.  Surprised she hadn't gotten rid of him after he'd made the comment about killing her if he'd be ordered to.  Usually when he used that line people tended to shut up and leave him alone.  One thing he could give her, she sure was persistent.

            Hojo finished what he was doing and shuffled back over to the table, brandishing a rather large needle.

            Hojo took one look at the face Reno was pulling.

            "I need a blood test Mr Reno."

            Reno sighed and held out his arm.

            At least Reeve was meeting him after this.  During most of the day, he'd felt a sudden desire to see the man but had been unable to go see him.  His one saviour in the building that didn't symbolise everything work-related.

            Thinking about it just made Reno want to get out of here quicker, causing his arm to jerk slightly in frustration.

            "Would you sit still!"  The Professor berated.

            Reno looked down at the source of the professors irritation.  The same body spasm had caused the needle to break off in his arm.  Reno hadn't felt it, hadn't even realised what had happened until he'd seen for himself.  Only now did the sting start in his arm.

            "Nervous twitch?"  Reno said by way of apology.

            Hojo calmed down and remained thoughtful as he set about digging the rest of the needle out of Reno's arm.

            "I take it that you weren't merely irritating me on purpose then?"

            "No sir."

            "Hmmm, curious."  Hojo muttered as he finished up and grabbed a replacement needle.  "Do you get sudden spasms like that very often?"

            _Only when I'm places I don't want to be with people I don't want to be around._

            "Not often."  Reno lied.

            Hojo finished what he was doing and returned to the bench.

            "You can get dressed now."

            "Finally."  Reno muttered under his breath.

            He slipped off the table and threw the sheet back onto the cold surface.  He crossed over to his clothes and starting sorting through to find his pants.  Out of the corner of his eye he could the Professor over by the bench stealing quick glances in his direction and running an appreciative eye over him when he thought Reno wasn't looking.

            Suppressing a shudder Reno turned his back in the other man and quickly dressed.

            "I will see you in another couple of weeks for a follow up. You are dismissed."  Hojo said curtly.

            "Yes Sir."

            Reno turned and left the room as quickly as he could.  Out in the corridor he nearly ran into Reeve who had been standing just outside the door.

            "Waiting for me?"  Reno asked quickly stopping his hasty march.

            "You asked me to if I'm not mistaken."  Reeve reminded.

            Reno smiled.  "Ah yes, I remember.  Are you always so obedient?"

            "Only when I know the cause is worthwhile.  You look terrible."

            "You would too if you'd just spent the afternoon with Dr Creepy."

            Reno quickly scanned the corridors around them.  It was fairly late in the Shinra day, most people would have left by five.  The corridors were deserted.

            "What are...."

            Reno cut him off as he threw his arms around the other man and drew him into a smothering kiss.

            Eventually Reno pulled back and drew in a shaky breath.  "Goddamn I needed that."

            Reeve was slightly shell shocked.  "Glad I could be of some service."

            Reno hastily grabbed Reeve's arm and began to steer him back down the corridor.  "C'mon let's get outta here, this place gives me the creeps."

            Hojo grinned to himself as he watched to two disappear down the corridor together.  He had had the luck of following Reno to the door to be greeted by the sight of the two men embracing.  Hojo had immediately recognised the other man.  Reeve Evans.  

            Hojo shut his eyes and played the image of the two of them over in his mind again.

            _I wonder if Mr Evans is due for an appointment._

*************************

Notes:  okay I know that was a very eww note to finish on.  One thing I have found is that you just can't have too many bastards in a fic.  Not everyone can be a nice guy.  Actually when you think about it there is only one truly nice guy in this one Teehee.  Don't worry he doesn't have /much/ of a staring role.  

_Sooooo, Reno has problems.  As if you couldn't figure that one out._

_However it looks as though it may be turning into something serious. _

_Hmmmmm._

_            AF_

_            anime_fearie@excite.com_

_            All stories can be found in the 70th Floor Office at Neo Midgar_

_            http://www.geocities/com/anime_fearie/_


	4. Rufus Strikes

I Will Be The One.

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter Four 

__

Rufus Strikes.

            "You know you're having a bad day when you find three big hairy men at your door asking for the guy they heard of that can suck a golf ball through a short length of garden hose at three in the morning."

            Rude looked up at the man perched precariously on his desk and closed his paper.

            "Sleep at your own place last night did you?"

            Reno nodded.  "Reeve's gone to Junon to the reactor inspection."

            "I thought the inspection team didn't have to gone there till tonight."

            Reno shifted his weight slightly against the desk.  "Reeve had to go early for some reason. I dunno I wasn't really listening, I was concentrating on other things at the time.  Reactor structures and blue-print outlines aren't my ideal pillow-talk topics ya know."

            "You just gave me more information that was absolutely necessary."  Rude muttered looking up at Reno over his shades.

            Reno lent back over Rude's desk and grinned crookedly at him.  "Oh c'mon Rude I know you secretly want to fuck me stupid till me knees give out and I cry out your name in the heat of ecstasy."

            Rude just looked over Reno toward the doorway.  

            Reno followed his gaze until he caught sight of Tseng stopped by the doorway looking at the pair rather oddly.  Finally he just shrugged and continued on his previous journey past the doorway and out of sight.

            "Well that was a strange look."  Reno commented.

            Rude looked at the redhead slumped across his desk.  "Gee I wonder why.  Reno get your ass off my desk."

            "Geez, no one can take a joke anymore."

            Rude picked up his now creased paper.  

            "So you were joking about earlier?"

            Reno stood and started pacing.  "Unfortunately no.  I just told them that they got the wrong apartment.  They left after I told them who I really was.  I also came home to find about thirty messages on my machine of people trying to set up dates.  I know he's behind this, I just don't know how he did it."

            "Who?"

            "That little mother-fucking bastard with the chocobo shit scented car." Reno swore.

            "Rufus?  Heh I thought that was your handy work.  Nobody would go near the poor guy for a week."

            Reno smiled at what he perceived to be a compliment.  "Thanks."

            "How long has this been going on for?"

            "I have no way to tell.  Rufus probably doesn't know that I haven't been home for weeks.  One thing is for sure, I'm gonna get him for this."

            "Speaking of Rufus, did ya hear the news?"          

            "What news?"

            "When the president goes to Junon he's taking Heidigar and Scarlet with him.  He's leaving Rufus in charge."

            "Gods, don't tell me the old man finally has gotten some faith in his own spawn for a change.  Never thought he'd leave Rufus in charge, even if it is only for a couple of days."  Reno mused.  "Speaking of which, Tseng is going with them isn't he?"

            Rude nodded.

            "I'm still on probation so you know what that means don't ya?"

            "Not only that but now because the great Sephiroth is gone, Cassian has taken over for SOLDIER."

            Reno grinned.  "Think of the possibilities.  The three great forces in Shinra are being run by Rufus, Cassian and yourself."  Reno almost slobbered, "You know I've always wanted to play roller hocky in the President's office.  Whaddoya say?  Turks and execs versus SOLDIERS."

            "Little unfair isn't it?"

            "Sure all the SOLDIERS are athletic and buffed fighting machines, but we have something on our side that they don't have.  Turks fight dirty. Plus me and Rufus are faster than most of these muscle bound freaks."

            Rude looked at the other Turk closely, noting the gleam in the other man's eyes.  "Your not joking about this are you?"

            "Course not.  Besides, everyman should have an opportunity to go after his dreams don't ya think?"

            Another voice sounded in the room, "If they're your dreams Reno, they should probably be squashed immediately for the good of humanity."

            Reno didn't turn to the new voice.  "Hello Rufus."

            "Reno wants to play roller hockey in the presidential office."  Rude told him.

            Rufus was most definitely amused.  "Not on your fucking life Reno.  You really want to screw this up for me?"

            "It's not like the old man can fire you."  Reno answered defensively.

            "No but he could send some of his little assassins after me."

            "Well you're covered then, 'cause we are his little assassins."

            Rufus came over to stand directly in front on Reno, his face inches away from Reno's own.  "Reno.  No."

*************************************

            Reeve pursed his lips tightly as he tried to concentrate on the screen in front of him.  He stared intently at the blueprints for the Junon reactor in preparation for the tour tomorrow.  

            He could say without a hint of bias that the Junon reactor was truly a masterpiece.  A fully functional underwater reactor.  The possibilities such a thing opened up was endless.  If the reactor worked here for Junon, it could work again at other underwater sights.  No longer would they have to sort through the diminishing resources on dry land.  Not when a whole new underwater world was opened up to them.

            Tearing his eyes away from the computer screen, Reeve turned instead to the expansive windows that covered almost the entire surface of one wall in the room.  He had to admit, at least Shinra thought him important enough to put him  in one of the finest hotels the city had to offer.  Being able to look down onto the city, at the lights and the people had always enthralled him.

            _Maybe I should move into an apartment in Midgar that has windows like this._

            The thought was very tempting.

            He checked his watch, alarmed to discover that it was almost midnight.  Since meeting the President at the airport earlier, he had been working non-stop to prepare for tomorrow.

            _Maybe I should just take Reno's advice and not work myself to death._

            Reeve smiled as he remembered the night that Reno had told him that.  He had threatened Reeve with beating him to death with his own laptop if he didn't stop working and come to bed.  It had, after all, been about 2 in the morning.

            _Reno..._

            Reeve almost felt odd not having the boisterous redhead around him.  Especially during the mornings and at night.  He had to admit he wanted nothing more at the moment than for Reno to stomp out of the bedroom and tell him to switch off his bloody computer.

            _I miss him.     _

            Reeve had not forgotten his little revelation the other night.  

            _Am I so blind to my feelings that I didn't even realise how I felt until I was about to blurt it out to him?_

_            The truth of it was that he hadn't really been sure about his feelings until then._

            _Am I so sure now?_

            Reeve powered down his computer and rose from his chair, intent on getting into bed and getting some sleep before he could find any more work to do.  He flicked off the main lights and walked into the dim bedroom.  Before him lay a spacious bed along with a small chocolate square resting on his pillow.  As comfortable as it looked, he knew it lacked what he really wanted to see right now.

            _I've been gone for two days and I'm already beginning to behave like a schoolgirl with a crush._

_            He stood there for a moment longer and stared at the bed.        _

            _I wonder is he misses me._

            As if on cue, the shrill of his PHS cut through the depressing silence, the sudden noise almost making Reeve's heart start with fright.  Eventually he opened his briefcase and extracted the small device.

            "Reeve Evans."  He answered.

            /"Mr Evans, are you aware that sleeping in a room that has been painted electric pink can seriously affect your mental state to the point of psychosis?"/__

            Reeve smiled as he recognised the other voice. "I can't believe you haven't painted over that by now."

            / "Well since I've been home I haven't had the time.  Not with trying to beat off large groups of hairy, horny men from my doorstep."/

            Reeve chuckled.  "Very funny Reno.  Trying to make me jealous eh?"   

            / "If only I were kidding.  I think I've copped some splashback from the chocobo shit incident.  Rufus truly does have an evil mind, I just haven't been able to figure out what's he's done to make me so very famous here in Midgar."/

            He could just picture Reno on the other end with a wistful expression on his face.  "I'm sure your not to be outdone."

            / "The wheels are already turning dear Reeve, I even think I might outdo myself this time."/

            Reeve just rolled his eyes and began to prepare for bed.  "So to what do I owe the pleasure of this late night call?  And how did you know I'd still be awake?"   

            / "Oh please, I'm the only one that actually makes you get any sleep.  If left to your own devices you'd be up all night working."/

            Reeve's grin just grew wider.  "Thanks to you I still up the same amount of hours a night.  I'm just involved in different activities."

            / "All for the good cause of you getting a very restful sleep afterwards I assure you......."/

            Reno trailed off for a while.  In the background he could hear what sounded like very insistent door knocking.

            / "Think if I turn off all the lights and pretend I'm not home they'll take their hard-ons away from my door?"/

            "You are aware that you could stay at my place right?"

            / "Yeah, I know.  However I don't just go to your place 'cause the walls aren't pink and I don't get harassed by big men in leather.  It just wouldn't be the same while your not there."/

            Reeve sat on the edge of his bed and closed his eyes.  He was suddenly cleared of any doubts he'd had earlier.

            _I'm sure._

            / "Anyway, I just wanted to call to ask about the Junon sights and see if Scarlet has managed to corner you in the trooper barracks and perform unspeakable acts of oral pleasure on you.  You know, the usual."/

            Reeve opened his eyes.  "Reno...." 

            _I miss you._

_            I love you.      _

_            "...thankyou."_

            Reno seemed to take his time in answering, and when he did he sounded more serious than previously.

            /"Take it easy on the hours okay."/

            "I will."  Reeve promised.  "And don't you stare at those walls for two long I don't want you to turn into a drooling vegetable."

            He heard Reno laugh a little at the remark.  / "Hey man I always drool when I'm around you anyway, this way I just might be easier to get along with."/

            Reeve smiled.  "Take it easy Reno."

            / "You to man, and I expect presents when you get back.  In the material sense too."/

            "Night Reno."  Reeve grinned.

            / " Have sweet dreams Reeve."/

            And Reeve did.__

*************************************

            "You look well rested Reno."

            The sarcastic comment was greeted with an evil smile.  

            He knew he must look like shit.  __

            For over a month, every single night he'd been able to climb into a big beautiful soft bed and sleep soundly next to a warm snoring body.  Last night was the second night where he'd returned to his drafty pink apartment and slept in his squeaky bed that barely passed for a double.  By himself.  Alone.  No warm body to wrap his arms around.  No light snore to fill the silent bedroom.  Nothing.  

            The first night had been different.  The second night he'd merely found it impossible to sleep.  Even after his phone call to Reeve, he'd still felt...... empty.

            "Yeah well you look like shit Doc."  Reno grumbled back.

            Cary didn't look amused.  She just sat back in her chair and pushed her glasses back in place.

            Reno had to admit though; she didn't look really all that bad.  As seemingly usual she wore her form fitting suit and her immaculate makeup, her beauty obvious to anyone who glanced her way.

            "So," Cary began, trying to hide her reaction to his last comment, "where did we leave off from last session?"

            Reno took the seat opposite her and did his best to look bored.  "You were telling me about that dream you had where you stripped me naked and...."

            "Reno..." Cary warned.  

            "Sorry."  Reno shrugged.  "But hey, if you don't like the comments you could have at least enough consideration to look ugly or something.  After all I very much doubt that I'm very interested in your personality.  A good personality can make up for just about anything you may lack in the looks department.  However I'm afraid you lucked out with the whole personality thing."

            Cary at least had the decency to look mildly insulted.  "You don't like me do you Reno?"

            Reno pretended to think the question over for a few moments.  "No, not especially."__

_            Cary didn't look hurt.  In fact she looked as though she'd been expecting the answer.  _

            "Maybe we should begin this session with you just being able to talk to me about anything.  It's up to you.  Is there anything that has been worrying you lately?"

            Reno shook his head and smiled.  "Nup."

            Cary tried not to get irritated again.  "So what caused you to get no sleep last night?"

            "Rufus."  Reno answered.  "We went out drinking."

            Cary narrowed her eyes and tapped her pen a few times.  "Oh, I was under the impression that you didn't really get on well with the Vice President."

            He just shrugged.  "We're friends no matter what I may say about him sometimes."

            Cary made a few notes in her ever-present notebook.  "So you were up late drinking with Rufus?  Do you usually suffer from lack of sleep when you go out?"

            Reno met her gaze, his smile quickly receding. "I don't make a habit of it when I'm on duty the next day."  He lied.

            "But last nigh...."

            Reno held up his hand to silence the woman opposite him.  "If you know I'm lying, why don't you just say it."

            Cary was surprised that he'd caught on so quickly.  "If you know your lying, why don't you just tell me the truth?  Reno I can only help you if you tell me the truth."

            "So you can tell my superiors?  No thankyou."

            "Reno specific things you mention are kept under the strictest confidence.  Your boss' are only interested in your overall well being, not the little details.  I promise you.  However, if you wish to keep lying I will have no choice but to inform Tseng of your not complying with your orders."

            Reno looked very much like he wanted to strangle the beautiful Doctor with her own shoelaces.

            "How can I really tell you, if I'm not so sure myself."

            Cary lent back and crossed her arms over the desk.  "I think you know more than you're telling me."

            Reno sighed in clear defeat.  "I had to sleep back at my own place last night.  Alone.  I guess I just wasn't used to it is all."

            "Instead of at your partners?"

            Reno actually cracked up at her question. "Shit don't call him my partner, it makes it sound like I'm sleeping with Rude or something."

            "Boyfriend?"

            Reno screwed up his face.

            "If you'd simply tell me his name...."

            Reno tossed the thought around in his head for a moment.  "You can call him.... Sevan."

            "Seven?  As in..?"

            "He's the seventh person I've had sex with more than once and didn't have to pay for it."  Reno joked.

            Cary made a note.   "So what happened with..Seven? I take it that you usually sleep at his place.  Did you have a fight?"

            "Nah, nothing like that, he's just kinda outta town at the moment, went to visit a relative."

            "So, you didn't sleep well because you're unused to sleeping at your own apartment alone."  Cary stated, a knowing note in her voice.

            Reno caught it.  "Don't make it sound like a sex thing, cause it wasn't ya know?  I guess I'm just used to constantly having company is all. Not after such a long time."

            "Has this happened to you before?"

            Reno shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  "Kinda, once. But that was because of a disagreement.  I couldn't tell you what this was about."

            "You missed him?" Cary offered.  

            "I guess.  If you worked the same job for a while then suddenly stopped, you'd miss the job.  Same thing."

            "Not if I didn't really like the job."

            "Yeah well it's not like he's a job.  That was a bad analogy.  But I guess you could say I really do like him.  After all I am in a....what did you call it.....a regular sexual relationship with him."  Reno grinned.

            "Do you believe it's necessary to like a person to have sex with them?"

            "No, not necessary.  But I wouldn't still be with him if I didn't like him."

            Cary pursed her lips in thought for a second before continuing.

            "Do you love him?"

            Reno stopped grinning.  "How do you mean?"

            "I don't necessarily mean romantically in love with.  I mean as a companion, do you love him?"

            Reno drew in a deep breath and kept his gaze levelled on Cary.  "What do you think?  You're the doctor."

            "That's not a question I can answer for you Reno."

            "That's not a question I can answer for you either Doc.  I don't get why you might need to know this?  What would any of this have to do with my job performance?"

            Cary made another note making Reno a little annoyed.

            _What the hell could she be writing?_

            "A happy worker is a good worker I guess."

            _Happy?  I'm a Turk, I'm not supposed to......feel_

_            I do feel._

            For a second Reno just sat there in dumb shock.  He stared blankly into Cary's eyes and felt...numb.  He knew he was angry.  He had every right to be.

            _What right does this stranger have to ask me these questions?  Doesn't she know that there is no right answer I can give?_

            A dark cloud seemed to settle over Reno's eyes, his vision blurring slightly.  His voice sounded without his realising it.          

            "But an unfeeling bastard makes a better Turk."

            Cary almost visible cringed at his tone.

            "Why..why should you think that?  Just because you show another human being compassion doesn't mean that..."

            Reno finished the sentence for her.  "It means that I might show it for others.  I can't allow that.  Not again."

***********************

            "I can't believe he's talked me into this."  Rufus said as he gazed around the presidential office.

            Rude leant against the desk to Rufus' right side, his eyes following the two SOLDIERS at the other end of the room as they talked in conversation.  

            "He has his ways."  Rude told him simply.

            On the other side of Rufus, Cassian snorted.

            "Reno?  I would've imagined that you said 'yes' just to shut the annoying little twerp up.  Though I will admit, this is an intriguing idea of his."

            "I can't believe he talked me into this." Rufus repeated.

            Behind Rufus, Rude and Cassian shared looks.

            "Where is he anyway?"  Rufus suddenly blurted standing.  "This is /his/ grand idea to get me into trouble and he doesn't even have the decency to show up on time!  He's got five more minutes before I call this whole thing off!"

            "Rufus?"  Rude said trying to gain the VP's attention.

            "I mean seriously, how does Tseng....."

            "Rufus!"

            Rufus looked back at Rude to see what all the shouting was about.  Rude answered him by pointing up toward the main door where the redhead in question was making his appearance.  

            Reno strode quickly over the floor, his eyes on the ground by his feet.

            "You're late."  Rufus said by way of greeting.

            Reno lifted his head to look at the vice president, but he didn't respond except for a; "What?"

            Rufus looked carefully at the far-away expression on Reno's face.

            "I said you're late."  Rufus repeated a little more calmly.

            Reno seemed to subtly shake himself, the focus coming back into his eyes.

            "It's hard to be on time when you constantly have to fight off a horde of hairy horny rector workers 24/7."

            Rufus laughed and gave Reno a slap on the arm.  "All part of the game Reno, all part of the game."

            Cassian took the following silence as a prompt to start off the game.  He ushered all of the men gathered into the centre of the room.

            "Okay as I'm sure you're already aware, we've been called up here for the purposes to perform Shinra's first ever game of Presidential office roller hockey."

            The introduction scored a few chuckles off the Soldiers and a pissed off stare from Rufus.

            "The entire game is totally confidential, no one will be told of our little adventure.  That goes doubly for the president himself or any of the execs that are in close working contact with him."

            Cassian began to tie his long light brown hair back in a sloppy ponytail.  "Three men a side, Turks and execs Vs Soldiers.  Six men, two goalies, two offence, two defence.  No weapons, no fighting and no cheap shots.  This is just a game. Because of time-restrictions, the first team to 10 wins the game."

            Cassian finished with his hair and placed a hand on Rufus' shoulder.  "I will be the captain of the Soldiers, Vice President Shinra is the captain of the Turks."

            "That's no fair."  One of the Soldiers piped up. Immediately though he seemed embarrassed by his outburst against Rufus.

            "What isn't fair Tyler?"

            "Well...The Vice President, we can't like...."

            Cassian smiled and pat Rufus' shoulder again.  "Let's just say that this game gives the players immunity from being fired.  Rufus here may be your boss, but not at least for the next half hour, okay?"

            Tyler nodded, but still didn't look happy.

            The two teams split up, going to opposite ends of the expansive room.  Rufus led his team down toward the hastily set up 'goal'.  It comprised of a desk turned onto its side with a net slung over the back..

            "Rude you're on goal, Reno you take offence, I'll take defence.  Let's see if we can't use their fear of me against them."

            Rude nodded and smiled faintly.

            Rufus turned to Reno, expecting to get praise or at least a grin for his idea.  But Reno was looking blankly up toward the other end where to Soldiers were gathering.

            The three of them sat down and began to put their blades on.  All the while Rufus, cast sideways glances at Reno.

            This was something Reno had been begging Rufus to be able to do for the last two days, and now all Reno was doing was staying quiet and staring at people.

            They finished with their blades and stood.  Rude went back to the goal while Reno and Rufus began skating further up the court.

            "Reno you okay?"

            Reno looked over at him, flashing him a smile that was obviously forced.

            "Course I am, we're about to kick some Solider butt."

            Rufus stopped in his position and let Reno go further up the court where Cassian and another of the Soldiers were waiting.

            He couldn't hear what was being said amongst the three men further up the court, but Rufus guessed it must be last minute instructions.

            He had to give Reno some credit though; the game did seem like an interesting idea.  If his father were to ever find out about it.....well, he would never hear the end of it.  

            A small grin crept up Rufus face.  He loved any opportunity to do anything that might piss the old man off.

            He saw Cassian leave the two men in the centre and take up his position further down the court.

            _Great I'm up against the second in command of SOLDIER._

            The thought was les than satisfying. Obviously, Cassian was worried that his men mightn't go after the Vice-President.

            Soon enough the game began.  Rufus gripped the hockey stick tightly as the two men in the middle waited for the order to begin.  The small lightweight ball in between them that had been christened the 'puck' sat ready and waiting.

            Cassian gave the word. "Go."

            Reno moved in a flash, he knocked the puck bad to Rufus who was ready and waiting for the move.  Rufus moved forward at a leisurely pace, keeping his eye on Reno and the other players.  All too soon he saw Cassian make a break for him.

            Signalling to the waiting Reno he slammed the ball in the right direction, Reno quickly following in its wake.  Tyler and Cassian weren't quick enough for the wily Turk.  Reno skidded to a halt three meters off the goal and took his shot.  

                                    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

            "What's the score?"  Rude asked as the three team mates sat by the desk up their end of the court.  

            "8-7"  Rufus answered.

            It was half time.  Well, actually Rufus has called for a break after half and hour of speedy play.  Both he and Reno were covered in sweat and breathing hard, having had more of a workout than either of them had had in years in such a short space of time.

            "I feel like an old woman."  Rufus complained as he wiped the sweat from his brow with his shirtsleeve.

            Reno nodded in agreement.  "Those lot don't even look winded."

            The Soldiers were standing by their own goal up the other end casually chatting to each other.  The Turks had started off the round by scoring 5 goals before the other team had scored one.  However, as time had worn on, Rufus and Reno had both begun to tire.  The Soldiers were better equipped physically to deal with on-going battle and the Turks and Rufus merely had to depend on their own totally human bodies.

            "It's the mako."  Rude supplied.  "Gives em' more strength and better stamina."

            From the other end of the court they could hear Cassian call out to them.  "Have you ladies rested enough?  Or would you like more time?"

            Reno swore under his breath and got to his feet.  Rufus watched him skate back to the centre of the court before getting to his own feet and taking up position.

            Rufus looked up and saw Tyler and Reno hunched over the puck in preparation for the command to start.  From his vantage point, Rufus could see Tyler easily, but Reno's back.  Tyler seemed to be saying something to the young Turk and grinning inanely.  Rufus could almost guess as to what the man was saying to Reno, and from the way Reno's arms and back was tensed, that it wasn't anything considerably flattering.

            "Go."

            The command was sent and Tyler quickly made a move for the puck.  Rufus saw Reno stick move around and in behind the Soldier and away from the puck.

            _What was he...?_

_            Reno drew his stick back quickly, effectively tripping Tyler and releasing the puck from his control._

            Rufus grinned at Reno's reaction to the Soldier bad mouthing him and quickly moved to draw parallel with Reno as they moved up the floor.

            Rufus heard a surprised cry from behind them that signalled that the fallen Tyler had finally realised what had just happened.  It didn't matter, he and Reno were far enough up the floor so the he would not have time to interfere.  All that was left was Cassian, who began a backward skate in front of Reno.  He was obviously looking for an opportunity to snatch the puck back off Reno, but Reno wasn't about to let him.  In one swift move he passed the puck over to Rufus who quickly flew in and took a very precise shot at the goal.

            Reno skid to halt and waited for Rufus to come back up his way.  "Nice shot."  He congratulated as Rufus stopped next to him.

            "That wasn't fair!"  Tyler cried. "He tripped me!"

            Cassian, ever the good sport just looked at his subordinate and smirked.  "Suck it up Tyler.  You play with the Turks, you have to deal with their techniques.  It's just a game."

            Tyler almost pouted at his superior.  "But..."

            "Next centre!"  Cassian called ignoring Tyler's pleas.

            On command the men went back to their positions, Tyler glaring at Reno the whole way.

            "Go!"

            Tyler sprung forward slamming his right shoulder into Reno's chest.  The hit took Reno off his feet and sliding back across the floor.  Tyler gained control of the puck and began his race toward the goal.

            Rufus was so stunned by the knock that he didn't realise what was happening till Tyler had almost past him.  Kicking himself into gear he drew up even with the man as they sped toward Rude.

            No matter what Rufus tried, he realised he'd lost the race.  He just couldn't get himself to keep pace with the man, let alone get back in front of him.  Behind him he could hear another person tearing up the floor.  He assumed it to be Cassian.  But it wasn't.

            Apparently Reno had gotten to his feet almost immediately and gave chase.  Rufus wouldn't have thought it possible that even Reno could've moved that fast given the circumstances.  He drew even with Tyler and grinned at him.

            Tyler was so shocked to see the Turk that he almost fell off balance.  Reno gave him a helpful shove from behind that did sent the other man forward.  Quickly, Reno swept forward and stopped the puck from going any further.  Tyler slid forward along the ground still on his trajectory toward the goal.  Rude managed to spring out of harms way just as Tyler went headfirst into the goal.

            Reno turned and began his way back up the floor.  Rufus tried to keep up, but soon ran out of wind and forced himself to stop and breath.

            Cassian was waiting not too far up the floor, but Reno easily spun around him and kept heading forward.  Coming up on the goal Reno made a dummy shot to the left before slamming the puck in on the right.  He skidded to a stop and held up his stick.

            Rufus couldn't help the silly grin from spreading across his face.  "How the fuck did he do that?"  He asked to no one in particular.

            In a blond flash, Tyler broke past Rufus and headed toward Reno.

            "You fucking idiot!  What do you..."

            Cassian was there in an instant, holding the man back.  

            He looked back toward Rufus with an almost pleading look.

            "Tyler!"  Rufus barked.

            The man stopped resisting Cassian and quickly turned back to Rufus.

            "But Sir, he..."

            Rufus, ignored the man and went over to Cassian.  "Thankyou very much for the work-out Cas.  Your men truly are exemplary athletes."  He turned slightly and cast a rather irritated look at Tyler.  "If not a little unsportsmanlike."

            Cassian bowed respectfully to Rufus and grabbed Tyler's arm to lead him back across the room to take off their blades.

            "Cassian wanted you to be the bad guy huh?"  Rude asked suddenly appearing beside him.

            "Can't blame him.  He's gotta work with the guy not me."

            Rude lifted his head to where Reno was skating over to them.  "Reno shouldn't have been so rough."

            "Are you kidding me?  I didn't know he could move so fast!  It was amazing!"

            Rude looked at Rufus for a moment before shrugging.  "I guess.  It's not like him to get so worked up about a game though"

            Rufus wouldn't hear it.  "He's just like me, he loves to win."

**************

Notes: well that was interesting ne? It would seem that Reno has had a lot to think about.  Oh and sorry 'bout the hockey game, it was a thought I'd had ever since I first saw the office in the game.  Who wouldn't want to play a game of Presidential Office roller hockey in President Shinra's Office? Teehee.

_Be seeing you_

_AF_

_anime_fearie@excite.com_

_All stories can be found on the 70th Floor Office in Neo Midgar_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/_


	5. The Man With The Loaded Camera

I Will Be The One.

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter Five

The Man With The Loaded Camera.

            Reeve looked around at the milling crowd that hung around the grand function room.  The Shinra Building-Junon.  It wasn't quite as impressive as the towers in Midgar, but it was undoubtedly the most impressive structure in Junon.  

            The group had just finished their tour of the underwater reactor and it now seemed as though the company had planned for a night of formal socialising.  The idea was enough to make Reeve wince.  He remembered the last Shinra function he'd been to and had hoped to god that this wouldn't turn out to be another of those nights.  

            Actually as it turned out, it was worse.  At least at the last one, Rufus had been there to bail him out of the boredom.

            Reeve took another sip of his drink and watched the people mill past the bar he leant against.

            "Holding up?"  

            The sudden voice behind him almost made Reeve drop his drink.

            "Sorry." Tseng apologised noting Reeve's reaction.  "Bad time?"

            "The whole night has been a bad time."  Reeve muttered.

            Tseng allowed a slight chuckle.  "I can just imagine what the others are up to in Midgar.  I must admit I'm rather jealous."

            "How?"

            "Rufus has control of the company building and no doubt my two Turks will be there right by his side to make the most of it."  Tseng sighed.

            "That /would/ be interesting."  Reeve admitted.

            Reeve smelt a faint whiff of expensive perfume permeate the air around him, just before he felt a small hand on his back.

            "There you are Reeve.  I've been looking for you."            

            Reeve turned slightly to Scarlet, forcing a smile.  

            "Hello Scarlet."  Tseng greeted the young woman without his usual formality.  

            "Tseng."  Scarlet replied.  "Don't you have some place you must be?"

            Reeve shot the Turk a pleading look.

            "No.  I'm just here keeping Mr Evans company."  Tseng responded, seeing Reeve's plea.

            Scarlet shrugged her slight shoulders and moved to rub Reeve's back a few times through the fabric.

            "Dull, isn't it?"  She commented.

            Reeve nodded, sipped his drink and pretended he didn't know that Scarlet still had her hands on him.

            "Personally I can't wait for the Christmas party though."

            "Christmas party?  You mean people actually go to those?  I thought they were non-compulsory."  Reeve asked surprised.

            "They are."  Tseng put in.  "But they are also the only ones that all the company are allowed to attend.  Free bar, free food.  You'd be surprised how many attend."

            "Can't say I'd ever been compelled to go."  Reeve told them.  "My department has it's own little party at the end of business hours on the last weekend.  After that I'm just glad to be out of work until the following week."

            "Does sound enough."  Tseng mused.

            Scarlet bent forward past Reeve to allow herself to see Tseng properly.

            "Tseng here is just annoyed because the Turks don't get that week off.  Well, at least not two of them."  She smirked, happy to be able to rub that fact into Tseng's face.

            It didn't take Reeve much to sense the open hostility between the pair.  The last time he had seen the two together they had been civil enough, but still fairly cool to each other's company.  For a while he debated asking Tseng what had happened, but he had at least enough sense to wait until they were alone before he stuck his nose in.  Besides, just because Tseng had confided in him before didn't mean that he would do it again.

            "Really?"  Reeve asked instead.

            Tseng nodded after throwing a brief look at Scarlet.  Possibly annoyance.

            "I and my acting second in command have to stay on duty for the week.  The third has to stay on permanent on-call duty.  It would seem that a lot of people like to take granted the fact that Shinra has shut down for the break.  The President always likes us prepared."

            Scarlet straightened up, slightly leaning against Reeve's side.  With her this close he could smell the faint whiffs of alcohol mixed in with her perfume.

            "I bet Reno hopes that he's still on probation when that comes around."  Scarlet put in.

            Tseng seemed to scowl in Scarlet's direction.  "Oh yes, but since when do you concern yourself with Turk matters Scarlet?  I wasn't aware that Reno's status should have any bearing on the Weapons Research Department."

            Scarlet didn't seem at all bothered by Tseng's tone.  "Ah, but we do love our rumours.  Besides, I think you know when I became interested in Turk affairs.  If I remember correctly it was around the time you joined the company if I'm not mistaken."

            Tseng snorted but didn't say anything.

            Reeve stared at Scarlet for a moment a little perplexed by her outburst.  Until now she had seemed quite sweet and charming toward most people.

            Scarlet didn't see the look though.  She was busy scanning the crowds.

            "Now where did that photographer go?"  Now she turned back to Reeve and gave him a wink.  "I wanted to get a photo with my favourite executive."

            Reeve made sure to look confused at her statement as if he didn't know who she could be referring to, even though she were obviously talking about him.

            "Going to get a photo taken of yourself Scarlet?  Well I'm sure you will treasure it."

            Scarlet pretended as though she hadn't heard Tseng's barb.  

            "Be back in a jiff."  She announced before setting off into the crowds before them.

            "You should run while you can Mr Evans, I doubt you'll get another chance."

            Reeve turned to face the Turk entirely.  "She's very...."

            "Persistent?"

            "I guess.  Not hard to see that you and her don't get along too well."

            "The best way to think of Scarlet is a pure predator.  Don't take your eyes off her when she's got you cornered and never trust her."  Tseng helped himself to a sip of Reeve's drink before continuing.  "She has a tendency to 'divert' my new Turks.  I get the impression that it is something of a hobby for her."

            Reeve scowled at the statement.  "Scarlet?  She just seems so...nice.  Well, most of the time."

            "And she will be."  Tseng told him bitterly.  "Right until the moment she tires of you.  Then she moves on to something a little more, interesting."

            "Bad history?"  Reeve joked.

            Tseng didn't seem in the laughing mood though.  "Only when she began putting my Turks off their work.  Then she became a problem."

            Suddenly Reeve didn't feel much like joking either.  "Your Turks?  You mean...?"

            "A lot in the past.  A couple went MIA during the war, trying to procure weapons research for her.  It was never proven that this was the case, but they definitely weren't working under my orders.  Perhaps Heidigar's but I tend to think differently...."

            Tseng stopped talking for a second longer before placing the glass back down onto the bar and shaking his head.  "None of which I suppose I should be telling you about. I assure you, usually I am never so...forthcoming."

            Reeve smiled at the perceived compliment.  "I hope that the reason you do is because I'm so trustworthy."

            Tseng looked up at Reeve, grateful that Reeve hadn't been offended.  "Whether you like it or not Mr Evans you seem to have been adopted into our little group.  In the right company I tend to speak a little more freely than I would with any other people from Shinra.  I trust Reno's choice in friends, but for your own good I believe I must try not to get too carried away with myself.  Starting rumours would not be a wise decision if I wish to remain in my position."

            "Understandable."  Reeve told him. "I kind of know what you mean though."

            Tseng smiled faintly at him for a second before quickly looking away.

            Reeve's eyebrow's creased in confusion.

            _Did I say something wrong?_

            He didn't get much of a chance to ponder this though when he started picking up traces of the all too familiar vodka/perfume scent.

            Scarlet appeared out of the crowd and grabbed Reeve's hand.

            "I have something for you Reeve.  This way."

            Reeve threw one last desperate look in Tseng's direction, but it did no good, the Turk was no longer looking at him.  Scarlet dragged him away from the bar and into the crowds.  The people milling about them were from the Junon offices and therefore unknown to Reeve.

            _No luck there._

            Reeve supposed that he wouldn't be so worried about Scarlet or where she was dragging him if it weren't for what Tseng had just mentioned to him.

            _"Think of her as a predator."_

            For a second Reeve entertained fantasies of rolling over and playing dead, but he wasn't sure if that would mean a worried trip to the hospital or just leave him more exposed to her attack.

            "Here we are."  She said cheerfully.

            "Where are we?"  Reeve asked a little puzzled.

            But she hadn't been talking to him.  They were standing just behind the head table where the president had been sitting for most of the night with his cronies.  The table was now basically deserted and the hired photographer was taking small happy snaps of the assorted crowd that stopped to pose.  The man must have been trying to make a few extra bucks after he had finished with the President and the usual PR with the Junon officials.

            The photographer turned at Scarlet's voice and smiled a happy welcome.

            "Miss Scarlet, I thought you had disappeared."

            "No no," Scarlet assured.  "I just had to go find Reeve here."

            The photographer smiled again.  "You must be a very lucky man Mr Reeve.  Miss Scarlet only chooses the best."

            Scarlet smiled and rested her arm across Reeve's back, her finger casually hooked into one of his belt loops.  Reeve just smiled and tired not to squirm as the man took the shot.

            "One more!"  Scarlet announced.

            Before he could resist she twisted him round and planted her lips solidly against his own.  By the time Reeve recovered enough of his senses the photo had already been taken.  She eased away from him and drew her bottom lip into her mouth.

            "I'd almost forgotten how good that felt." She breathed.

            Reeve just stood there dumbly and stared, unable to respond to the comment.

            "Miss Scarlet, I will have your photos ready for you in the morning.  I will drop them by your hotel, yes?"

            Scarlet didn't remove her gaze from Reeve.  "Yes, thankyou."

            The photographer shuffled away in search of more business.     

            "How bout another picture?"  Scarlet asked softly.  "How about a dozen more?"

            "A dozen?"  Reeve asked timidly.

            "Yes.  I have a camera....back at my hotel room.  Just the two of us.  A bottle of champagne, a roll of film."

            Reeve finally managed to collect his thoughts and move away from her.  "I can't."

            Scarlet snapped out of her mood in an instant.  "What?!  Not this again!"  She took a step toward him so she could talk quietly but harshly without the other many people in the room hearing.

            "There's only so many times a girl can get pushed away without taking some real offence here Reeve.  You're with someone."

            It wasn't a question.

            "Yes."  Reeve answered.

            Scarlet raised her hand and ran it slowly down his cheek.  "I don't care.  At the moment you're all I want, all I've thought about."

            Reeve removed her hand gently and backed away again.  "I'm sorry."  

            With that he turned and began walking back toward the main entrance, head down.

            Scarlet merely glared at his departing back.  Not so focussed that she couldn't sense another person come up to stand beside her.

            "Lucked out again Scarlet?  You must be loosing your touch.  Would it be inopportune for me to ask for a photo of this moment?"

            Scarlet whirled around and stalked off.  

            "Fuck off Tseng."  She called behind her.

***********************************

            "Damnit Reno pick up!"

            Reeve was pacing again.  He couldn't help himself, even after realising that he had in fact picked up the habit.  He didn't know why he was calling Reno.  He didn't think he was going to tell the man about his little confrontation with Scarlet earlier.  He felt guilty enough as it was.

            _How could I have let her?_

            True he hadn't had much choice in the matter.  But the fact remained that he hadn't actually pushed her away either.

            _I can't deny that she got to me._

_            Indeed, she had.  He couldn't help it.  She was clearly attractive and extremely willing, and she had kissed him.  The smell of her perfume, the feel of her lips, the warmness of alcohol that ran through his blood all combined to have a rather disturbing effect. _

            Right now, all he could think of was hearing Reno's voice.  Hear the other man talk about his day and his latest adventure so that Reeve could silence the little voice inside his head that was chanting for him to accept the fact that he had betrayed Reno's trust and kissed another person and that the only thing that had stopped him was the thoughts about the person that he loved.

            No doubt that if he told Reno about it, Reno would just laughed his ass off then ask if he was at all tempted by Scarlet's invitation.  To which he would reply; 'Hell, no.  I may be self-depressive, but I'm hardly suicidal.'

            And it would be true.  He wasn't tempted by Scarlet.  He was tempted by the idea of her.  Especially after what Tseng had said, he found now. Doubtless, Reno was having the time of his life in Midgar.  Rufus had control of the building and Tseng didn't have the leash so tightly wound around Reno's throat.  He was having a blast and Reeve was stuck in Junon with nothing but Scarlet's words echoing through his head.

            Reeve listened to the PHS ring for about the twentieth time before sighing heavily.  

            He was being obsessive and he knew it.  Reno was off having the time of his life and Reeve was being molested by what Tseng led him to believe as being Scarlet, sex in heels.

            _I'm really loosing it._

            Hello?

            The PHS had finally decided to be answered.  But that wasn't Reno's voice.

            "Rufus?"  Reeve asked puzzled.

            Reeve?  Um..if you're looking for Reno, he has gone to powder his nose.  Thought I should answer his phone in case it was something important.

            Rufus was decidedly drunk.  

            "Nothing important.  Just wanted to hear about all I'm missing while you guys have the run of Midgar."

            Rufus laughed, You won't believe what we did today.  But I guess that my reign is short lived since you and the big wigs will be back by tomorrow night eh?  Just my luck.

            "You guys out drinking?"

            Such a sharp man Reeve.  Yes we are.  But I think Reno's getting a little too pissed to drag my sorry ass home, so I suppose it won't be for much longer.  How was the Junon function?

            "A rare treat."  Reeve replied dryly.  "That's kinda why I called.  I thought you guys might be able to restore some of the brain cells I think have died."

            Now now Reeve, you're a capable man.  You'll be fine. A pause. What is taking him so long? Heh, knowing Reno he's asked the waitress to give him a hand or something.

            Needless to say, the joke didn't go down as well as intended.

            "Look Rufus, It's late, I better get some rest."

            You don't want to talk to Reno?

            "Like I said I was just calling to see what you guys were doing while the brass was away."  Reeve lied.

            Ah, okay Reeve.  I'll tell Reno you called. Hey, you want to have another office lunch when you get back?

            "Sure.  I'll see you then."

            Night Reeve. Take care.

            Reeve listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before allowing himself another big sigh.  He hung it up and padded to his bedroom to try and get some sleep.  

*

            Rufus smiled at the redhead when he finally managed to stumble back into the chair opposite Rufus.  

            "You sure took your time.  Reeve called."

            Reno lifted his bloodshot eyes to his friend, "What for?"

            "Wanted to see what we were up to.  I think he's a little bored.  You wanna ring him back?"

            "No."

            Rufus blinked slightly at the unexpected answer.  

            _Well something happened between those two._

            But Rufus didn't pry.  After all he wasn't supposed to know about the two of them.  Although he was itching to know what was going on, he reasoned he could wait.  After all the gossip queen would be back tomorrow, and nobody knew how to tell a story better than Scarlet.  Especially the juicy ones.            

*******************************************

            Rufus flipped on the lights in his office and hung his jacket by the door.

            "Reno we are not emptying the diving pool and filling it with mud so you can hold mud wrestling matches."

            Reno followed the Vice President into his office slightly squinting at the morning rays that peeked in through the open curtains.

            "Give me one good reason not to."  Reno challenged.

            "For one; what woman in this company would engaged in such a thing?"

            "We'll tell them, that if they win they get to sleep with the mighty Rufus Shinra."

            Rufus grinned.  "Two; that is not something that we can clean up by tonight."

            Reno ignored Rufus' logic and went to stand by his desk.

            "Why are you here.  I thought you got to mooch around the pres' office for another day."

            "I need to check my e-mail."  Rufus responded flicking on his computer and dumping himself in his leather chair.

            The computer hummed to life and Rufus clicked in his password.

            "Anything interesting?"  Reno asked in a bored tone.

            "Don't you have other things to do?  I know you came up here to talk me into that mud thing, but I've said no.  Don't you have duties?"

            "You didn't answer my question."

            Rufus huffed and stared at the screen.  "Expenditure authorizations from the accounting department, release forms from the weapons division, planned overview for the new reactor structure and....something from Scarlet titled; 'want to see the good news first?'"

            "I suppose that counts as something interesting."  Reno mused coming round to look at the computer over Rufus' shoulder.  "Knowing Scarlet."

            Rufus clicked on that entry and waited for the page to load.

            First came up a picture of Scarlet in what could only be part of the Shinra headquarters in Junon.  A very plastered man on her arm as they posed in front of the camera with silly drunken grins.  Reno recognised the guy as one of the executives that ran the Junon office.

            "That's Trent isn't it?"  Reno asked.

            "Sure looks like it."

            Rufus scrolled the page down to the next picture.

            Scarlet had her arm around a very uncomfortable looking Reeve, in the background was the deserted presidential table and the milling crowds beyond that.  Reeve was smiling, but it obviously looked forced.  Scarlet though, had never looked happier.

            "Poor guy."  Rufus said, reaching out to the mouse to scroll down further.

            Reno didn't have a chance to reply before the next image came up.  Again it was of Scarlet and Reeve.  But this time, the picture didn't look so forced.  They were kissing.

            "Woah."  Rufus breathed.  "This I was not expecting."

            Reno just stared dumbly at the digital image, his mouth dry.  He didn't want to see it, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.  It was as if some perverse part of his mind wanted him to look.  To see it and to agonise over it for as long as possible. He wished he felt numb.  But he didn't.  He felt as though a very big strong man had just punched him and knocked all his wind out.

            Rufus looked up at his friend with a deeply concerned look.

            "Reno?  Are you alright?"

            It surprised Reno about how easily he could pull the mask down over his face to hide his facial expressions.  He may have been hurting, but that didn't mean he had to visually show it.

            "Guess I kind of felt a bit sick.  I really didn't need to see Scarlet kissing anyone, it's liable to give me nightmares."

            Rufus didn't laugh at the attempted humour.  

            "Anyway, I'll let you get back to the accounting department, but don't think for one minute that you're weaselling your way out of that mud wrestling idea.  I'll be back at lunch to remind you about it."

            Reno turned away from the desk and beat a hasty retreat.  He needed a drink.

            Rufus watched Reno leave with genuine concern.  He should have known that Scarlet might send him something like that and therefore should have known better than to open the file in front of Reno.  He didn't know why he was so concerned really.  Reno was a big boy and if he ever did finish with Reeve it was very likely that Rufus might finally get his drinking buddy back more often than lately.  But seeing Reno's face right before he had tried to cover it up made Rufus feel bad.  Seeing that had hurt him.  Rufus hoped, for Reno's sake, that Reeve had a very good explanation for the photo.  Perhaps Scarlet had tricked him or taken him by surprise. It was likely that she'd pull such a stunt.

            _Just don't let this be what it looks like._

_            And don't let this mean that more followed after the photo._

_            Rufus now had a good idea why Reeve had rung last night.  It was either because he felt guilty, or he wanted to bitch about Scarlet pulling a trick on him._

            _Guess I'll find out sooner or later._

******************************************************************

            Reeve dropped his keys on the table and threw his briefcase in the general direction of the couch.

            _Home finally. _

            Reeve smiled slightly before pulling his tie off and kicking his shoes into the corner.  Needless to say, he hadn't enjoyed the Junon trip very much and had looked forward to coming home ever since he'd gotten there.  Doubly so after last night.  He swore he could still smell the deadly whiff of Scarlet's perfume mixed with a healthy dose of alcohol.

            He flicked on a few lights as he made his way to the kitchen in search of a beer.  The place looked untouched since Reeve had left.  Somehow he couldn't help but be a little disappointed.  He had hoped Reno might be here to welcome him home.  Still, Reno could still be working. He might still come.

            He grabbed a beer from the fridge and picked up the phone from the counter intent on ordering a pizza.  Warm pizza, beer and a night in front of the TV while he waited for Reno to come home.

            _Bliss._

            Before he could dial the number though, a loud knock issued from the front door.

            Sighing Reeve replaced the receiver and walked out to the front door.

            _What's the matter Reno?  Forget your keys?_

            He opened the door and was surprised to find, not the expected redhead but a very worried looking blond man.

            "Rufus?  What..?"

            Rufus shifted uncomfortably on the spot his clear blue eyes looking weary, troubled.

            "Reeve, we have to talk."

            Without another word Reeve made way for Rufus to enter.

            Rufus entered wandered over to the couch, propping himself up against the back of it.

***********

Notes:  Well that sure didn't look good.  If Reno was having doubts about caring before, I'm not sure this is going to sit well with him.  Bad way to prove his point huh?

            Small chapter as far as these chapters go, but you can be assured that the next will more than make up for any shortcomings.

Love hugs and kisses

AF

anime_fearie@excite.com

All stories can be found on the 70th Floor at Neo Midgar.  You can also join the mailing list to be informed about progress and posting of new chapter for all my series.

http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/


	6. Who Do You Like?

I Will Be The One

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter Six 

Who Do You Like?

            Reno closed his eyes as the alcohol really began to hit his system.  Throughout the whole night he had persevered to get as blind as he could as soon as possible.  It had seemed like plan.  A very good plan.  At the time.  

            Now he wasn't so sure.  He often went drinking.  Sometimes by himself.  But most of the time it was a social thing.  Even when he was alone.  He was drinking because it was something to do.  A way to fill his time that otherwise would have been boring.  

            Sometimes it was just a way to negate his whole thinking processes.  If he wasn't thinking, it was good.  He didn't have to think about his job or his life or lack thereof.  He could just be.  Sit at a sticky table in a dark corner of his favorite bar and just exist for a couple of hours.

            And who said that drinking was never a good way to escape?  It was a great way to escape.  Not particularly healthy, but then again neither were Reno's mood swings. And it was better for him to prolong his brooding till tomorrow.  Tomorrow he would have a hangover.  He would be concentrating on that, and it would distract him from thinking again.  He would still be again thinking, but at least he would have other things to keep him occupied.

            A hangover was not something that was easy for Reno to achieve.  But as Tseng always told him, if he really tried, he could accomplish anything.

            At least that was the plan until he sensed another presence come up to his table from behind.  Reno didn't bother turning around.  If it was someone he knew, he didn't care.  If it was someone about to pick a fight, let them.

            A piece of paper fluttered down onto the table in front of Reno causing him to open hi eyes and look.  It was the printout of a photo.  Reno recognized the photo instantly as one of the ones he'd seen on Rufus' computer this morning.

            "She took me by surprise."  Reeve told him.

            He didn't move to sit with Reno.  He didn't move at all except to talk.

            "She just grabbed me and kissed me, I didn't see it coming.  Nothing else happened and I'm assuming you think it did, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here drinking yourself into an alcoholic stupor."

            Reno pushed the paper away but didn't look up at his friend.

            "Bit egotistical of ya don't ya think?  To think that I am here all because I'm broodin' over ya."

            Reeve didn't know how to respond.  So he just stood there, mouth closed, watching the back of Reno's head.

            "Personally I think it would be wise of ya to go lookin' for somebody else.  Maybe not Scarlet, but somebody good.  Somebody right.  Stay with me and you'll get hurt."

            "Reno..."  Reeve began.

            Reno closed his eyes.  "Go home Reeve."

            Reeve place his hand on the other man's shoulder.  "No." He said definitely.

            A couple of seconds passed before Reno exploded out of his chair.  With speed that Reeve would have not believed the drunk man capable of, Reno spun round and grabbed Reeve's throat in his left hand, pushing the other man up against the brick wall at the back of the bar.

            Reno's bloodshot eyes bore into Reeve's slightly frightened ones.  He drew his face up inches from Reeve's, his hot breath hitting Reeve's face.

            "Take a hint Reeve.  I don't care who you fuck.  Fuck Scarlet if you have the stomach for it, it doesn't bother me.  I don't care if something happened or if it didn't.  But I hated how I felt when I saw that picture.  It hurt okay and I shouldn't feel that strongly. I shouldn't feel so strongly about you.  I don't want to have no control over how I do feel.  I don't want to feel this way anymore!"

            Reeve let out a ragged gasp as he fought to get air into his lungs.  Reno's grip was tightening, slowly cutting off his windpipe.

            All at once, Reno seem to really take notice of what he was doing, how he was acting.  He quickly released his grip and pulled his hand away, dropping limply to his side, an almost startled look on his face.

            He quickly covered the expression and turned away from the gasping man in front of him.  He dropped more than enough gil on the table and hastily began to weave his way through the group of gob smacked bar patrons, heading for the exit.

            Meanwhile, Reeve had gotten his breathing under control and looked up in time to see Reno's back disappeared out into the night.

            A million ad one thoughts were screaming for dominance in his brain, but he forced them down and went after Reno.

            When he finally managed to get out onto the street, he scanned the road for any sign of Reno.  The streets were empty.  Reno was gone.

            Reeve sagged against the side wall and tried to control his shaking.  His hand went up to rub the sore skin around his throat where Reno's hand had been.

            _What the fuck just happened?_

            A noise off to his right caught his attention.  It was coming from the small alley than ran down the side of the bar.  Curious Reeve followed the noise.

            He found Reno, one hand braced up against the wall, bent over.  The unmistakable smell of alcohol and vomit invading his nostrils almost causing him to gag.  He bit down the reflex, just glad to have found Reno before he'd had a chance to run off again.

            He was well aware that every step he made, Reno would hear it.  Even if he didn't show it.  It occurred to him that Reno might lash out at him again, this time maybe do something worse.  But Reeve kept up his slow walk toward Reno, his eyes never leaving the hunched over frame.

            He stopped beside the other man and knelt.  The arm Reno supported himself with was covering Reeve's view of his face.

            "You should leave."  Reno choked out.

            "I can't."  Reeve told him, surprising even himself with how calm he sounded.

            A few seconds passed before Reeve found his voice again.

            "Reno look at me."

            Reno didn't react.

            "Look at me!"

            This time Reno did move his head slightly to peer over his arm at the other man, his eyes red and glassy.

            "I can't leave."  Reeve repeated.  "Because I love you."

            Reno's eyes widened slightly at the statement.

            "Please no."  He moaned.  "Don't."

            "I can't help how I feel."

            Reno pushed himself away from the wall and started backing away from Reeve.

            "This is not a good time to start getting serious about all this!"  Reno shouted, his mood changing to anger quickly, "I can't be me when I'm around you!  This was never supposed to get serious!  I need to be me!"

            Reeve followed as Reno backtracked.  "What are you talking about?"

            Reeve was getting rather worried.  Sure Reno was drunk, but what he was saying made no sense.  He needed to be him?  It wasn't supposed to get serious?  Was Reno just viewing their relationship as a friendship with an occasional fuck?  Never had Reno lead him believe that this was the case when they had started things, otherwise Reeve mightn't have been so quick to agree.  He didn't want another toss away fling.  He wanted Reno.

            _Was I so worried about Scarlet the other night because I knew that if I had wanted to I could have gone to bed with her and known that Reno wouldn't care?_

            Reeve stopped following Reno.  He stopped and just stared at the man as he fumbled for the right words.

            _Is that what freaked me out so bad that I had to call him?_

            Reno seemed to be attempting to calm himself.  "I don't want to have to feel anymore.  I can't or I'm going to go insane.  I don't need all this shit. As a Turk I'm a recruiter, a kidnapper, a spy and a killer.  Fuzzy warm feelings have no place in my life and I don't want them there and you have no place in my life.  I'll either end up insane, dead or.....you will.  Maybe by the hand or mind of the same kind of people that took Maggie or maybe by mine.  I am not what you should be looking for.  I am not the one."

            Reno broke eye contact and looked down at his palms as if there were something fascinating to be found there.

            "And I don't love you."  He whispered.  "I can't."

            It was Reeve's turn to back away, back toward the light of the streetlamps.  Not once did he doubt Reno's words.  His own suspicions only seemed to verify them.

            "I know."  He spoke suddenly, not surprised by the conviction in his voice.  Even id Reno looked unsure, Reeve was not.

            There was nothing more to be said.  He turned back to the street and walked away, not daring himself to look back.

            "This is too much Scarlet, even for you."

            Scarlet gaped at the man in the doorway.  Rufus had managed to get her out of bed and answer her door this late at night and this was how he greeted her.  Somehow she had imagined a warmer greeting off the man.

            "What is?"  She asked impatiently.

            She made no move to allow him into her apartment, but he pushed past her anyway and closed the door with more force than was necessary.

            "If you want to fuck one or both of them fair enough, go ahead and try.  But all you've succeeded in doing is making a mess."

            "What the hell are you talking about Rufus?"

            "Reno was there when I opened my mail this morning."

            Scarlet grinned.  "Oh my, I bet that didn't go down too well.  But like you said, nothing with Reno is ever serious so why should he care?"

            Rufus' brow creased in anger.  "Yeah well we were wrong!"

            He took a deep breath before continuing.  

            "He's been through enough.  He didn't need this.  Reeve told me that nothing happened and I believed him."

            Scarlet finally lost her smile.  "So you should.  But I almost had him.  I bet Tseng said something to him, wouldn't put it past him.  Bastard."

            "Yeah well no more Scarlet this isn't a game anymore.  Reno's..."

            "Reno's what?"  Scarlet cam closer and inspected Rufus carefully, as if she could read the answer off his expressions.

            How could he tell her about what he'd read this afternoon?  That he'd gone through the notes for Reno's psych evaluation.  He couldn't.  It was none of Scarlet's business.  It was probably none of his own, but that hadn't stopped him from prying.  He had the clearance after all, it offered too much of a temptation.  Needless to say, he hadn't been encouraged by what he'd found.  

            _Could this little thing set him off as the Doctor had predicted in her notes?_

            Rufus felt that it might.  

            "It's none of your business Scarlet.  And I think you should back off."

            Scarlet crossed her arms over her chest and looked indignant.  "Why should I? I mean weren't you the one who was encouraging me on this?  Or has your personal feelings for the man finally overrun that otherwise devious little brain of yours?"

            "Personal feelings?  Scarlet you're playing with the lives of one of my Turks, it is no longer acceptable when you start to torment them.  Before it was a game, now you are looking at mental torture."

            Scarlet actually laughed.  "Gods Rufus, you make it sound like I'm planning to kill somebody.  Why are you taking this all so seriously?  It was just a little bitty kiss."

            "I'm taking it seriously because they are taking it seriously.  This might just be an everyday thing for you but for others it is not."

            She rolled her eyes dramatically.  "Oh please, Reno has gone through almost as many people in this company as yourself.  Are you telling me that he actually cares for that little nobody?"

            "I think he might.  And don't you forget that that little nobody was the object of your desires not five minutes ago."

            "I want to fuck him, not marry him Rufus.  There's a subtle difference."  She spat back sarcastically. "I have to tell you Rufus, you've changed.  Normally you wouldn't have given a shit.  In fact you would be sitting on the sidelines cheering me on!"

            Rufus shook his head and started back toward her door.  "I give up."

            Scarlet didn't stop him.

            Combat training.  And Reno had never looked for enthusiastic.  Tseng had almost cringed at the face he had made when the older Turk had bought it up.  And if it weren't for the obvious hangover that Reno was coping with, he might've even called it off.

            They were presently setting up the floor for the recruits who were yet to arrive and Tseng was getting a little nervous.

            "Reno are you alright?  You look rather..."

            "I know, I'm sorry.  I had a couple of drinks last night.  I promise it won't effect my performance though."

            "That is what I am afraid of."  Tseng muttered.  "Is there something bothering you this morning?"

            Reno finished dragging the mat into place and stepped back to make sure it was aligned.  "There usually is.  But there's nothing like a bit of incentive in a fight.  I'm actually looking forward to it."

            They were interrupted by the noise of the four recruits filing into the gym, chatting between themselves and oblivious to the almost hungry stare that Reno was throwing in their direction.

            Both Reno and Tseng had changed into more psychically training friendly clothes, and were clad in loose fitting pants that looked like a thick silk material.  Reno in black and Tseng, as always, in navy blue.  Reno loved the feel of his training clothes.  His own had been given to him as a present off Tseng in his third week of being a Turk.  Clothing from Wutai.  Very expensive and hard to come by.  Reno had worn them around his apartment for weeks afterward.

            Reno took his place behind Tseng as he addressed the other four men.

            "Hand to hand training."  Tseng began.  "Since this is your first class in this area, you will not have to do much time on the mat.  It is merely a way for me to calculate how much you may already know."

            "Who do we fight?"  The man on the farthest left asked.

            "First round will not be a fight.  I want to see some of your moves and your defenses.  You will practice them against me.  Nothing vicious just a practice run for the real thing.  If I feel you are able, you will then do a more serious practice against Reno here."

            Reno was delighted to hear a few groans.

            There was only one man that Tseng had deemed good enough to g onto the ext round.  Reno was a little disappointed.  He couldn't help but feel that Tseng was being a little too cautious.  Normally, the role that Reno was now playing would be done by one of the instructors not an actual Turk.  And definitely never a Turk with a hangover and in a bad mood.

            Reno hung back and waited for the man to get prepared.  For some reason this guy had chosen to go through a ridiculous amount of stretches and warm-ups before settling into a ready stance in front of Reno.

            "Sure you didn't miss a muscle or something?"  Reno mocked.

            The guy just glared at him and said nothing while the other men sniggered from the sidelines.  

            Tseng was wearing this rather pensive look and Reno wanted to get the fight underway before the older Turk changed his mind about the setup.

            "Ready?"  Reno asked.

            The other man nodded and immediately sprung forward.  The had started with about five feet between them and Reno knew from watching the guy practice that he relied more on his fists than anything else.  It was obvious that he was trying to bring his best weapons within hitting range of Reno as fast as he could.  Reno didn't mind.  In fact he waited for him to get closer.  The other man swung with his right, but Reno had already leaned back and thrown his foot out to connect with the man's shin.  Not hard enough to break, but enough to throw him off a little giving Reno the opportunity to hop forward and repeat the kick, this time to his stomach.

            The man reeled back, but managed to stay on his feet.  Reno was almost impressed.

            Instantly the other guy changed tactics and kicked out.  Instead of moving out of the way Reno absorbed the kick meant for his head with a block then swung round quickly throwing his fist out.  It impacted with the man's jaw, but again he didn't fall.  This time Reno didn't wait.  His favorite move.  A move he could never seem to pull off anymore.  The last few times it had been deflected by Tariff and countered by Tseng.  This time he wouldn't miss.  He hopped up and spun his body round and kicked out.  His heel connected with the side of the dazed recruit's head.

            The man was knocked sideways and hit the ground sliding.  He slid off the mats and came to a stop on the floorboards.  He didn't get up.           

            Tseng rushed to the boy's side and knelt over the unmoving figure.  The other recruits just looked on, unsurprised by the outcome.

            "Pryar, take him up to the Medical Officer in the Soldier barracks. The rest of you are dismissed. Tactical classes tomorrow in E-17."

            The others complied with Tseng's orders quickly filing out of the room.

            Reno turned to Tseng brightly.  "That was refreshing.  Time to hit the showers coach?"

            Tseng looked around to make sure that they were indeed alone.  "You could have gone a little easier on him Reno, he's just a recruit"

            "You told me the harder I try the more points I get did you not?"

            "I said that when you were fighting me.  They're just boys, in future I would prefer that you do not break them before they've even started."

            Tseng sighed and ran a weary look over Reno.

            "A shower might be a good idea for you. Go cool off Reno."

            Reno refused to react to Tseng serious tone.  "Aye Sir!" Then, "You coming?"

            "I hardly did enough to work up a sweat.  You go ahead. I'm going to go and get dressed."

            "Oh please.  You're like the cleanest guy I know.  You exert yourself brushing your hair and you want a shower.  Your not pissed at me are you?"

            "Would you care if I was?"

            Reno pretended to think for a moment.  "No I guess not."

            He grabbed Tseng's wrist and headed for the locker room.  Tseng didn't protest and let himself be led, a little taken back by Reno's actions.

            Reno led them all the way past the locker room and into the shower room.

            "If you don't shower I'll have to listen to you all day complain about how you think you smell.  I know you better than that."

            Tseng surrendered and headed toward one of the showers in the large room.  He stripped off his clothing and hung it on one of the hooks before starting the shower.  Reno was right, he was only being difficult because he was a little sour about how things had gone in training.  

            He stood under the warm spray and let the water pour down his body and relax his tense muscles.  It lasted only a moment before his muscles started to tense up again as a pair of warm hands encircled his waist from behind.  He felt warm breath against his ear as the owner of the hands pressed up closer to his body.

            "If you're still pissed, I can make it up to you."

            Tseng turned to confront him.  Reno stood barely inches away his skin slicked with a mixture of sweat and the spray from Tseng's shower and very naked.

            "What are you doing?"  Tseng asked a little surprised.

            "You looked tense."  He grinned.  "I want to help, like old times ya know."

            Tseng knew.  He remembered well and so did the rest of his body, already beginning to respond to Reno's proximity.

            "I thought we stopped doing this quite some time ago."

            "Okay so I pissed you off more times than I was capable of making up for then.  Are you telling me that after all this time that you are still 'no longer amused'?"

            Reno was quoting something he himself had told Reno at the time and he cringed slightly at the reminder.

            _But isn't Reno involved with someone?_

            If he was, it didn't seem to matter to him.  The whole meaning of 'relationship' never seemed to matter to Reno, and Tseng was under no delusions that if he proceeded with whatever Reno had planned that the other man would carry on afterward as if nothing had happened. And perhaps nothing ever would again.  It was always that way, and Tseng had never really minded.

            Reno let his hands travel down over the hard planes of Tseng's stomach causing a few muscles under his palms to react with the stimulus.

            Tseng didn't stop him.  He moaned and grabbed Reno harshly pulling the other man closer so Tseng could claim his lips in a vicious kiss.

            Reno dropped his hands down further to grasp Tseng's, now hard, cock causing the older man to moan louder in Reno's mouth.

            Reno pulled back slightly from Tseng's mouth and grinned.  "Been a while?"

            Tseng just looked at him through hooded eyes and swallowed thickly.

            Reno hadn't expected an answer.  He let go of Tseng and crouched down in front of him.  He leaned forward and took Tseng into his mouth.  Tseng almost cried out at the sudden action.  Usually Reno teased him before continuing, but not today.  Tseng should have known better than to think anything Reno did today would be usual behavior.

            Rufus sat back and munched thoughtfully on his burger, his legs propped up on the desk in front of  him.

            "I would've thought he would have at least listened."

            Reeve wasn't eating.  He sat behind his desk, half turned to look out of his window.  His untouched lunch sat on the desk in front of him, waiting.  The thought of eating was making him nauseous.

            "He did listen.  He just didn't care."

            At first Reeve had been a little unnerved that Rufus was aware of his relationship with Reno.  But as Rufus had pointed out, it was no point in trying to hide things like that from your friends.  It wasn't likely that they weren't going to notice sooner or later anyhow, and Reeve appreciated being able to talk about it to someone else other than anyone in the Turks.  He doubted that Rude, the only other person to know at Shinra, to be very receptive to him.  Not with being such close friends with Reno.

            Rufus had appeared at lunchtime as usual of late, prepared with food and sympathy.  Reeve didn't eat when he was depressed, but that hadn't seemed to stop Rufus.  He couldn't understand how Rufus looked how he did when all he ate was shit and a lot of it.  Even under normal circumstances he still managed to eat almost twice as much as Reeve without even having to loosen one notch on his belt.

            "Honestly Reeve, I hadn't any idea what was in that e-mail until I opened it."

            "It's okay."  Reeve sighed.  "I don't blame you.  I'm getting the impression that all it did was give Reno a reason when he needed one."

            "You think he would have finished with you, even if that hadn't happened?"

            Rufus had that impression as well.  Especially after reading the doctor's notes yesterday.  He just hadn't though Reeve would pick up on it.

            "I dunno.  Maybe.  I could just be being paranoid."

            "Probably."  Rufus lied, trying to humor the poor man.  "Maybe I should go beat some sense into the stupid bastard."

            The comment had the intended effect and Reeve smiled slightly.  "I'd prefer you didn't."  The smile soon went away.  "If this is what he wants, I'm not going to interfere.  I think I should just leave him alone."

            "Do you wish that nothing had ever happened?  I mean you guys would still be friends, right?"

            Reeve looked away from the window and looked over at Rufus.  "I was worried that I would loose his friendship over this.  But no, I don't regret what happened.  Never."

            Rufus found himself smiling, despite the subject matter.  "You're a good man Reeve.  Don't let yourself believe that any of this was ever your fault okay.  I think Reno's just craving some space  right now is all."

***

            Rude slammed the PHS down in disgust.

            _Where the hell were those two?_

            Again he looked down at the official summon that had come to Reno from Heidigar's office.  It was entirely possible that training had gone over time, but /this/ long?  Reno and Tseng should have been back over an hour ago.

            If Heidigar needed to see Reno, Reno had better not be late.  Not while he was still on probation.

            Grumbling Rude picked up the PHS again and dialed Reno's number.

**********

Notes: No shit did I plan this chapter badly.  I would have preferred to have had the scene at the bar as a part of Chapter 5.  A lot has happened in Chapter 6 as a result and maybe it was too much change after so long of more usual behavior.  Still I think it still works. 

_            So Reeve and Reno are no more.  In fact Reno is going to quite extreme measures to make that known isn't he?  (Okay so who /wouldn't/ molest a naked, sweaty Tseng in the shower room? Oh just me?)  So basically he is being an uncaring bastard isn't he?  Well, as you may have noticed, Reno isn't thinking too well lately…Aww my poor Reeve. He just can't seem to get a break can he?_

_Uncaring Bastards of the World Unite!_

_AF_

_anime_fearie@excite.com_

_All my stories can be found on the 70th Floor at Neo Midgar_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/_

_Mailing List Mailing List!!! Wanna get previews and updates of my work?  Or would you prefer to be slowly roasted over a pit of hot coals and prodded by big hairy men in leather with rail spikes?  Hmm tough decision.  Well while you are deciding go to my web page and join up anyway.  If you are really lucky you might get both! XX_


	7. The Demon Makes It's Appearance

I Will Be The One

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter 7

The Demon Makes Its Appearance.

            "You wanted to see me Sir?"  Reno asked after being permitted to enter the office.

            Heidigar looked up from his work and motioned for Reno to sit in a chair opposite his desk.

            Reno was surprised to see that man actually doing work.  He wasn't aware that he had ever done anything constructive. 

            Heidigar watched Reno closely for a few moments before finally opening his mouth to speak.  It was probably a tactic he'd read about; 'How to make yourself appear dominant in the work arena'.  Reno stopped himself from sniggering at his joke and tried to look suitably dominated.  After all, Heidigar was his boss.

            "I've been reading into how you've been going with your probation.  You have only been on it for a little over a week."

            _Oh great here it comes._

            He expected Heidigar's next words to be that he was disappointed.  And so he was pleasantly surprised when Heidigar stated the opposite.

            "And I must say, I'm very impressed."

            "Pardon?"  Reno asked confused.

            "Regardless of what Doctor Ellson tells me about your personal well-being she also seems to think that your working abilities are extremely loyal and fitting to your job status.  Her recommendation and your scores on your training classes make me believe that you may be ready to be reinstated to your full Turk status within the week.  What do you think about that?"

            "I'm very grateful."  Reno replied truthfully.

            Heidigar did his annoying little laugh thing before carrying on.  "Of course you are.  Personally I would have thought that you might be on probation for quite some time, what with your past record.  But I have every confidence that you will clean up your act and perform to the best of your abilities.  Maybe even take over a few more responsibilities fitting of the next leader of the Turks."

            Reno was slightly confused.  "Extra responsibilities Sir?"

            "Yes Reno.  And I think that you might just be the man for the job.  I need a man with a certain..mind-set, for a few side jobs."

            "Would I be correct in assuming that these will not be official Turk assigned jobs Sir?"

            "You are correct.  They will be of a very delicate nature, and if you agree you will get a slight pay increase and will get your assignments directly off the president or myself.  Tseng will have no knowledge of your extra duties, but you will serve your role as a Turk the same as usual.  This conversation will be confidential and any others we have in regard to these duties will also be."

            "I will still be a Turk?"

            "Yes.  Your usual Turk functions will remain the same.  This will simply be 'extra'."

            Reno chewed on his lower lip in thought.  "If I agree, will you lift my probation?"

            Heidigar nodded.  "Within the next few days."

            Reno eyes settled on his palms before rising back to Heidigar's face.  "What do you want me to do?"

            ****************************************************************

            Reno sauntered down to the 53rd floor with a new air of happiness following in his wake.  He had been prepared to grovel and plead, anything to appease Heidigar and allow him to remain in his job.  He, in his frame of mind he was prepared to offer the stupid man a blow job just to keep himself in place.

            All morning he had been plagued by the horrible feeling that something was inexplicably 'wrong' with him.  A small worry that nagged at the back of his mind and had ceased to fully make itself known.  And so he had strived all day to keep himself in a good mood and keep himself occupied.  Damnit he'd even gotten laid after training, but the feeling had stayed with him.  Right now it seemed easier to ignore though.

            _I'm a Turk again._

            He breezed in through the office doors and grinned evilly at the secretary.

            "You can tell Caryla to put her clothes back on and stop playing with herself 'cause the amazing Reno is here to take over."

            The secretary just stared at him open mouthed and made no move.  Finally she asked;

            "Do you have an appointment?"

            Reno rolled his eyes.  "Yes I have an appointment.  Reno."  He said pointing to the logbook by the telephone. "R-E-N-O."  He spelt impatiently.

            Not taking her eyes off the decidedly obnoxious man, she reached out to the intercom.  "Doctor Ellson, Reno is here."

            From the intercom he they heard Cary's voice return; "Send him in."

            Reno flashed his teeth at the secretary.  "Thanks."

            Ignoring the sour look he was receiving he entered the inner office and closed the door with a little more force that was probably necessary.

            "Hello Reno."  Cary greeted without the usual enthusiasm.

            Reno took up his usual position and put his legs up to rest on the obscenely tidy desk.

            "You don't look so happy to see me."  He noted.

            Cary eyed his feet for a second but didn't tell him to remove them.

            "Maybe you will be far happier when I tell you that you won't have to see me again.  Ever."

            "What do you mean?"

            "My probation is about to be lifted.  I must thank you, I was told that you said some rather encouraging things about me."

            "I spoke the truth."  She replied evenly.  "I don't think there is anything your bosses need to worry about as far as your work life is concerned.  Does this mean that you no longer want to keep talking to me?"

            "You sound like you want me to keep coming back."

            "I think there are still a few things you need to work through."

            Reno lent forward suddenly curious.  "Like what?"

            "Well, we barely started to talk about your family or friends.  The death of your fellow Turk, or about your relationship with Seven."

            Reno actually chuckled for a bit.  "My friends are just friends, there's nothing to talk about.  Tariff, well, honestly I don't care.  My family is no longer an issue and neither is Seven."

            Cary raised an eyebrow at him.  "I find that all hard to believe."

            "Believe it.  It's true."

            "I know you were working hard to forget about what happened to Tariff, but how can you say that your family is no longer an issue, not to mention Seven."

            "Hey if you can find my family go talk to them yourself and then you'll know more about what happened there than I do.  And Seven, well, let's just say is no longer in my life."

            Cary barely picked up the slight shift in tone as he mentioned the news about 'Seven' but it was there.

            "You broke up?"

            "Yeah guess I came to my senses about that one."

            "Are you sure about that.  It was only last session that you were telling me about how you missed him whilst he was away."

            Reno scratched his head and shrugged.  "I know, pathetic wasn't it?  That's what I get for tryna be something I wasn't.  Stuff like that just screws with your head, distracts you, and it's not something I can afford to deal with."

            Cary sat back looking thoroughly disgusted.  "I'm surprised you can be so nonchalant about it all.  It got too much so you just gave it up."

            "If it makes you feel any better it was a hard decision."

            "Did you ever begin this relationship with him with aspirations to make something of it?  I wonder if you knew how it would end before it even began."

            Reno could feel himself slipping back into his previous mood.  The small off feeling came back.

            "Do I strike you as someone that plans that far ahead?"

            For once Cary wasn't making any notes.  Reno found that thought more disturbing than the irritation he always got when she did.  Was she taking personal interest in this?  Or was it simply because he had already told her that he wasn't coming back.  

            "And what makes you think that he will just brush this aside as easily as you lead me to believe that you have.  Do you think he'll want to talk to you about it?"

            "Perhaps."  Reno conceded.  "But I have free will and I can just say 'no'.

            _Just like that._

            The disgusted look was still present.  Weren't psychologists supposed to remain unprejudiced to anything their patients told them?

            "Do you ever think about the effect this is having on him?"

            "No."

            Well that was definite.

            Reno continued; "And in a moment of weakness, if I did, I would deal with it."

            _Make it stop._

            _'But you are a monster.'_

_            Cary shifted uncomfortably in her chair.  "Regardless on what you tell me, I would like you to agree to at least one more week of continuing with these sessions.  What you tell yourself to think and what you really are thinking are two very different things.  Can't you see that?"_

            "No."

            "I definitely wish to talk to you some more about Tariff, I think there is more to that than what you are telling me."  She tired again.

            Reno again tried to force his good mood back into being, but unfortunately lucked out this time. In the space of ten minutes this woman had totally screwed up his good vibes from getting his proper job back.

            "I think that the best thing I could possibly do for my well being right now is to get up and leave your office.  So if you don't mind Doc,"  Reno told her, rising from his chair and pushing his sunglasses back into position atop his head with his middle finger, "I'll be off.  Have a nice life and you can kiss my ass.  I've wasted enough time here."

            She let Reno get as far as the door before calling him to wait.

            Reno simply ignored her and left.

            Cary rubbed her temples wearily and reached for the phone.  Ethics told her to stop the action she was about to put into motion, but she forced it down.  She reasoned that her ethics meant nothing when dealing with people that were capable of so much more than the average person.  A Turk more than qualified.

            *************************************************************

            "I think this was a bad idea."  Reeve stated as a new round of drinks was laid down on the table before them.

            Rufus has practically dragged him out of his office this afternoon telling him something about him needing a good stiff drink.

            Reeve had tried to back out of it, telling the young VP that he had work he needed to finish, but Rufus hadn't listened.  For a man that had chewed him out for coming into work a little late one day, he sure had a rather carefree attitude when it came to after hours.

            When he had first met the VP, not around the office, but actually talked to him, Rufus had seemed like a guy with little respect for his title but enthusiastic about his work.  Now Reeve was sure about it.  So long as work never spilt over into his own personal time.  Being the President's son, Reeve would have guessed that Rufus' personal time and his business time were practically one and the same.  But he found it to be very far from the truth.  During work hours Rufus could be cold, distant and exceptionally business-like in his manner.  After hours, Rufus seemed to transform into another person entirely.  He ceased to be the VP of Shinra and became Rufus.  During lunch-breaks and the occasional group piss-up, he found Rufus to be quite a nice and friendly person, so unlike the person he pretended to be as the VP of Shinra.  No wonder Reeve had taken an instant liking to the man, even when he was berating him.  Lucky too.  Rufus was after all, one of Reno's good friends and he could have hardly avoided him.

            Rufus picked up his new drink and downed half its contents.

            "Definitely a bad idea.  I never said my ideas were good, just not boring."

_            Reeve tried to reach out to take his own drink, but for some reason he missed almost tipping the glass.  That was odd, a couple of hours ago, he was sure he could do that easily._

            Rufus tried to hide a small chuckled as Reeve tried a second time and again failed.

            "S'not funny."  Reeve protested, his own grin lighting up his face.

            Rufus stopped chuckling, but retained his smile.  "Wow, thatss the first time I seen you smile all day."  He slurred.  "Good fer you!  Thought you might keep broodin' all night."

            "I should be broodin',"  Reeve sighed, "I miss 'im ya know?"

            "Yeah, well, you picked the wrong guy to start gettin' all mushie ova.  I'd tell you to go for someone like Rude, buts he's straight as a..."  Rufus trailed off, looking around the room for inspiration to finish his analogy, "...as a bar top.  I'd tell you to go for me, but I'm straight s'well and I'm every bit the bastard Reno is, so's you're outta luck."

            Reeve shook his head rather overdramatically, "Yer not a bastard Rufus, and neither is Reno.  He's just a little confused methinks."

            "Ever the fucking optimist Reeve."  Rufus laughed, "can't say that the confusion'll pass soon though.  If you're plannin' on waitin' for him you may be in fer the long haul."

            "I can wait."  Reeve assured.  

            _I love him._

            He didn't say it though.  There was still a functioning part of his brain that still recognised that, however good it was to talk to Rufus about this, some things were better left private.

            "I can see why Scarlet is so taken with you."

            Reeve groaned.  "Do ya havfta 'mind me 'bout her?"

            Rufus seemed to sober slightly at the comment.  "Yeah, Reeve, 'bout that..."

            But Rufus was never given a chance to finish.  The sound of a loud explosion rocked the bar.  For a moment, Reeve wasn't sure if it was just his eyes, or if the actual bar was shaking.  Both his and Rufus' glasses tipped and rolled off the table with a satisfied smash, just as the rumbling began to die down.

            Rufus was instantly alert, almost all the last traces of alcohol seeming to leave his system as he jumped up from his chair.

            "What th' fuck?"

            But Rufus didn't hear him, he was already weaving his way through the bar and heading for the door with many of the other patrons.  

            As quickly as he could get himself to move, Reeve stood and followed.  He dropped some gil onto the bar in front of the shell-shocked barman and headed after Rufus.

            Out on the street, Reeve had a better view of what must have happened.  Tall plumes of smoke billowed up from one of surrounding neighbourhoods spewing up ash and debris.  The glow of fire lighting up the clouds of smog directly above.  The other patrons, scared by the explosion were making their way hastily away from the bar, and in the opposite direction of the not too distant fiery building.  He heard a few muttered oaths about terrorists and Shinra, but he wasn't paying much attention.

            He found Rufus up ahead, face toward the explosion.  His face was pale, mouth open.  Shock and alcohol making him suddenly immobile.

            Reeve came up next to him and joined him in staring.

            "That was Kramer's building."  Rufus said dumbly.  "He just moved in."

            "The head of the Accounting department?"

            "Yeah, it was a brand new building.  Hardly anybody had even moved in yet."

            The street around them had grown eerily quiet, most people from the bar and surrounding restaurants having taken off in fear of the what they might've thought to be another terrorist bombing.  Apart from the crackling from the distant fire and the wailing off far off ambulances, the street was quiet.  He could almost hear every inhalation he and Rufus made.

            "Who..."

            Reeve stopped as Rufus held up a hand to silence him.  Reeve listened for a moment until he heard it too.  Somebody was whistling.

            Normally, Reeve wouldn't have thought anything of it.  But who would whistle after what had just happened?  Obviously somebody blind, deaf or both.

            Footsteps soon accompanied the happy tune, and Reeve realised that it was coming from jut down the street, and getting closer.  The explosion had knocked out the power further up, casting that half of the street into complete blackness.  But the sounds were definitely getting louder.

            Finally a figure stepped into the light, he took a few more steps and stopped.  Red hair, as always, a little mussed, cheeks a little pink perhaps from a little light exercise, nightstick casually slung over one shoulder.  He looked rather amused.

            _Reno?_

            Reno eyes passed over the two men.  When his gaze fell on Reeve his expression changed slightly, but all too quickly it was gone.  He threw them a cocky grin and surveyed the rest of the street with a rather bored look.

            "Nice night out, huh boys?"

            If it weren't for the rather deranged look in Reno's eyes, Reeve could have guessed that Reno was just out for a casual stroll.  His whole demeanour was relaxed but the eyes and the feral grin lit up by a single streetlamp and a fiery glow in the background contracted that view severely.

            For the life of him he couldn't come up with anything slightly intelligent to say.  Not even something stupid for that matter.  And from Rufus' silence, Reeve figured that he must be suffering from something similar.

            He didn't really have much of a chance though as the second explosion rocked the ground throwing a small burst of fire and smoke up into the air. Both men were totally unprepared for the violent tremor and were easily thrown off balance.  They fell to the ground in two separate untidy heaps.  The explosion had been smaller than the first and the shaking died down almost instantly.  However, when Reeve motivated himself to look up again, Reno was gone.

            Rufus was up on his feet in an instant.  "Where did Reno go?"

            _Not Reno. Reeve decided._

            _That wasn't Reno._

            **********************************************************

            "What do you mean that it is none of my concern!"

            Reeve winced as Rufus yelled into his phone in the other room.  He had been on the phone for the last twenty minutes with his father, trying to figure out just what had happened and by the sound of it, was not getting very far.

            Reeve had tried to make himself comfortable on Rufus' plush sofa in the meantime.  He watched the news with little interest.  A special report had come on telling people of the terrorist bombing up in the newly renovated section of Sector 6.  The screen had been filled with the smoking remains off the targeted apartment building, showing the full detail of the explosion.  

            Rufus had insisted on going back to his apartment to try and sort this mess out.  Secretly though, he wondered if Rufus had insisted Reeve stay with him just so he could keep and eye on him.  After all it isn't every night you see the person you love stroll casually down a street whistling happily, after blowing up an entire building.  Well there was no proof that it had been Reno.  But Reeve wasn't so stupid as to pretend that it had all been a mere coincidence.  Knowing Reno, he had probably blown the building then wandered toward the bar for one of his traditional 'post-slaughter drinkies'.

            In the other room he heard Rufus slam the phone down and mutter something undoubtedly coarse.

            He came back into the room red-faced and angry and flopped ungracefully next to Reeve on the sofa.

            "Old bastard wouldn't tell me anything.  Well no details, but I get the impression that Shinra is behind this.  It also means that Reno was the one who carried it out."  he huffed.  "Godamnit!  Since when do the Turks start blowing up entire buildings!"

            "The official story is that it was terrorists."  Reeve told him in a more subdued tone.

            "A cover story no doubt.  Did it say how many people were caught in the blast?"

            "The area was being renovated, all the surrounding buildings were vacant.  There were perhaps two tenants in residence including Kramer."

            Rufus turned toward Reeve, his anger being overcome by sympathy at the dead tone to Reeve's voice.

            "He's not well."  Rufus told him  "Reno wouldn't normally accept an assignment like this.  I know him."

            "He looked so comfortable about it.  But his eyes...."

            Reeve shuddered at the memory.

            Rufus threw a companionable arm over Reeve's shoulder to try and comfort him, but Reeve barely seemed to notice.

            "How could he do that?"  Reeve continued.

            "Like I said, he's not well. I can tell that just by looking at him.  Everyone goes a little nuts every now and then.  Reno just happens to be in a position that allows him to lash out so violently."

            Rufus got the distinct impression that Reeve wasn't listening.  He just gazed at the images on the TV.  

            Rufus reached out with his free hand and snagged the remote, killing the power to the device.  Dropping the remote the moved his hand tip  Reeve's face up, so they were looking eye to eye.  He finally seemed to have the other man's attention.

            "If he really has snapped, he might not even be aware of what he's doing.  It's not an excuse, but it's an explanation at least."

            Reeve nodded barely and rested his chin on Rufus fingertips, suddenly very weary.  "My nerves are shot. I feel sick."

            Rufus sat and gazed for a second longer, his expression blank before he seemed to snap his brain back into gear.  "You can stay here.  I don't think you should go home alone right now.  You wanna lay down?"

            "I can't sleep.  I know I can't."

            Rufus removed his arm and stood.  "Stay there I'll get you something to help you sleep.  Trust me, that couch is very comfortable."

            Rufus strode off in the direction of the bathroom.  He grabbed a couple off sleeping pills out of his stash in the vanity and then went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.  He returned to Reeve and offered him the pills and the glass.

            Reeve looked at them dubiously.

            "You need sleep."  Rufus insisted.

            Reeve surrendered and took the proffered items.  He quickly downed the tablets and finished off the glass of water.

            "I'll go get you a blanket."  Rufus said and again started off.

            Before he could get too far Reeve's voice stopped him.  

            "Thankyou Rufus.  I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there."

            Rufus smiled slightly, almost apologetically. "If it weren't for me you wouldn't have been there in the first place."

            Reeve didn't look worried by the confession.  "Thankyou anyway."

            Rufus nodded in acceptance and went off to fetch the blankets.

            **************************************************************

            From his vantage point on the balcony, Tseng had a fine view of the sector where the explosion had happened.  He had expected his phone to ring the moment he'd heard it back over at his own apartment.  It had rung eventually, but it had been Rude.  Not who Tseng had been expecting.  

            "Why weren't we called out to investigate?"  Rude asked as he joined Tseng over by the railing.

            Tseng had wasted no time in making his way over to Rude's apartment.  It was after all closer than Tseng's to the area in question.  So if they were to get called out they would be nearby.  At least that's what Tseng had thought.  That had been over half an hour ago.  Nobody had called.

            "Maybe they have Cassian looking into it.  The terrorists might still be in the area, they might have a fight on their hands."  Tseng responded.

            They fell into silence for a while and just watched the smoke on the horizon.  It was entirely possible that the news reports had been false though.  Tseng wouldn't have reason to think that if it weren't for the fact that Heidigar hadn't informed him otherwise.  But if it wasn't, then who else could it have been?  Shinra?  Tseng didn't think it was likely.  The only people in Shinra who could have pulled off a job like that would have been the Turks.  Soldier weren't meant for anything but all out warfare and fighting.  The troopers were nothing more than armed guards.  

            It had to have been terrorists.  There were still about three large functioning groups in Midgar that could have pulled it off.  And Tseng refused to believe that it had bee pure coincidence that the chosen building housed one of their department heads.

            "One of us may be delegated to bodyguard duty for a while, if it is the department heads these guys are after."  Tseng mused.

            "We sure don't have enough men to cover them all."  Rude pointed out.

            Tseng sighed and turned his back to the view, leaning back on the railing.  "They might ask for more recruits, or at least bring Reno back up onto active duty.  I would think that they might just get Soldier to fill in the gaps, Heidigar wont want to bulk up the Turks' number over this.  They tried that once and it didn't work."

            Tseng looked back into the apartment through the double glass doors to see Rude's girlfriend walking toward them, a couple of beers in her hands and a very distressed look on her face.

            "They've done that before?" Rude asked.

            "When I first joined up, there were six of us not including the leader."

            Maggie made it out onto the patio and handed each of the guys a beer.  Tseng wouldn't have taken it, but he doubted very much that they would be called out now.  He'd just have to wait for the briefing in the morning.

            Rude took his own beer and set it on a nearby table before wrapping his arms around the shivering frame of his girlfriend.  

            "What happened?"

            "A couple burnt out through work problems.  One acquired somewhat of an obsession with one of the employees from the company and disappeared, assumed dead.  Along with his obsession I might add.  It's a stressful job.  Too many people were just too much for the boss to keep an eye on.  The numbers whittled down to three and stayed that way.  Easier to keep the mood light and everybody busy I suppose."

            Rude just nodded and kept quiet, understanding what Tseng was telling him.

            "What about Reno?"  Maggie asked timidly.  "Should somebody call him?"

            Tseng shook his head, taking a sip from the bottle in his hand.  "Reno knows he's not up for active duty.  He won't be expecting any calls.  Even if I did, I wouldn't know what to tell him.  I don't even know what is going on."

            ******************************************************************

            One single light was left on throughout the entire apartment.  A lamp in the lounge room cast it's dim light through most of the doors leading off from the room, casting shadows along the walls and into the corners that the light couldn't reach.  The old bulb flickered like a candle flame being toyed with by a slight breeze.  But there was no breezes, nothing moved.  Not even the lone inhabitant of the apartment.  He stood still, not moving, not even seeming to breath.  His gaze was fixed on that other person that was gazing so intently back at him.  The other person looked like a deranged version of himself.  Crazed look, intense expression.

            _No wonder he looked so startled if he saw this other person on the street tonight._

            He himself was almost afraid as he gazed at the other person.

            _So this is what you really look like._

_            '...a monster.'_

_            '...soulless.'_

_            He looked so scared._

            He tilted his head up slightly, the other man mirroring his move, both sets of eyes never leaving each other.

            _So tempting._

            He shifted again, bring his face up inches away from the silver glass.  The light from the other room barely reached this far into the bathroom, casting half of his face in shadow as he moved it farther still away from the open door, toward the other person.  The reflection of himself.

            He scowled at the other person.

            '_So distracting'_

_            I don't care_

_            'You liked that look'_

_            He likes it when I scare him, he asked me to once_

_            'That time is gone'_

_            Not in my mind, not in his_

_            'You can't stop thinking about him, isn't that what you were afraid of?'_

_            Make it stop_

_            'You liked that look'_

_            He likes it when I scare him..._

_            I saw it._

            _"Do it again.."_

_**************_

_Notes: Um yeah. For once I have nothing to say. _

_ I'll let this one speak  for itself._

_Oh wait I remembered something. A **special note** to a person who reviewed my work of FF.net. Akayay I think it was.  Thankyou so much for the raving review.  And I loved your idea for a shrine lol. Many thanx to all those who review my work, to know that there are people enjoying what I am writing is what keeps me..well…writing.  X's and O's to all of you lovely people.  And don't think harshly of Reno, he's not thinking clearly.  Or at all for that matter._

_AF_

_anime_fearie@excite.com_

_All stories can be found on the 70th Floor at Neo Midgar_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/_

_New mailing list at Neo Midgar so you can get up to date news on stories, previews and other things._


	8. The Other Man

**_Important Note:_****_ Chapter 7 of this fic was not properly uploaded onto FF.Net. The chapter has since been replaced and can now be read in it's entirety. If you haven't read the replaced Chapter 7, you should really go back and read it before continuing on with this Chapter 8. By the way, for anyone also following A Different Kind Of Superhero, chapter 9 of that fic has also been replaced. Sorry for the inconvenience to my beloved readers and please enjoy the fic._**

I Will Be The One

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter 8

The Other Man

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner." Tseng apologised as he entered the inner office. He threw an apologetic smile toward Cary before taking a seat before her desk.

Cary didn't seem to mind. "It's quite alright Tseng, I know you were busy yesterday. I just didn't want to talk to you about this over the phone." She took her glasses off and laid them on the desk in front of her. "Are you aware that Heidigar is going to lift Reno's probation?"

Tseng nodded, though a little reluctantly. "Yes I am aware. Heidigar informed us all this morning after briefing us about the..incident last night in Sector Six. He wants him back on active duty to pick up the slack whilst Rude is on bodyguard duty with Cassian's team."

Tseng had not been at all surprised by the announcement. He'd said as much to Rude last night while they have surveyed the damage from his balcony. The only thing he couldn't understand was how Cary had found this out so soon.

"So as far as you are aware, this decision was made either this morning or last night?"

"Yes. Why?"

Cary's brow creased as she tried to concentrate. "Reno knew yesterday."

"What?"

"He came in here and told me that his probation was being lifted so he no longer had to see me." She said slowly. "Perhaps Heidigar had already decided even before last night to bring Reno back up to active status."

_Or he had something to do with it._

"Maybe." Tseng said instead. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Kind of." She admitted. "I think it might be a mistake. I also think that he should continue his sessions with me. There's a lot left that we need to go over and I think it would be bad to leave everything hanging right now. Dangerous even."

"What do you mean?" 

Tseng wasn't liking the sound of this.

"His frantic mood swings, his quick temper. I'd hate to think what he might be capable of right now."

"He seems fine to me. Happy."

Cary narrowed her eyes at Tseng. "I heard that a boy had to be taken to the infirmary after training yesterday."

"He's always been competitive."

"Enough to fracture somebody's skull in a training match? Tseng you shouldn't be so blind!"

Tseng held up his hands trying to calm her. "Even if I agreed with you, Heidigar won't listen to me. Perhaps he would to you though. Your much better qualified to stress the importance of any psychological problems Reno might have."

Cary rested further back into her chair. "Your probably right. And even if you don't see it, I do an I will do something about it."

Tseng mirrored her pose and rested his head on his fingertips, his arm propped on the arm rest. He could have sworn that that had almost sounded like a threat.

"I know who this mysterious partner of his is as well." Cary mentioned casually.

Tseng tired his best not to look shocked or extremely interested in the revelation. He almost succeeded too. 

"Who?"

"It had stumped me for a while. I had thought about getting you to find out about it for me, in case I needed to speak to this person directly. But I figured that the person must have been one of the friends he listed. He kept referring to this person as 'Seven'. As in the seventh person that he'd had reoccurring sexual experiences with. It struck me that he'd thrown the explanation in as an after thought though. Like he'd thought of the name before it's meaning. All I had to do was look back through the people he'd listed in his friend group."

"And?"

Cary sighed and suddenly started to look a little wary all of a sudden. "Bear in mind that this is something that I really should not be telling you about. And that I am only breaking Reno's trust because I think that this person may need to be careful around him."

"I understand."

"He tells me that he's finished with Seven, but if it is the person I have in mind, he's hardly in a position to totally ignore this other person. Especially when they exist within the same friend group, not to mention the same company."

Tseng ran out of things he could use to prompt the Doctor with. Instead he just sat there and looked slightly impatiently at her.

She took the hint.

"It was rather easy to figure out. Seven, Sevan, Evans. Do you understand where this is going."

"Reeve?" Tseng asked incredulously. He sat there and thought it about for a second longer, the news starting to make more sense. "Actually I can kind of see that. Though quite an unlikely match."

"Regardless of what Reno would lead me to believe, I think the relationship was getting rather serious for a while there before Reno began to have his self revelations about how such feelings might reflect upon his job ethics."

"Reno's job doesn't require any ethics." Tseng snorted. 

"That's my point. Poor Mr Evans has really met Reno at the wrong time in his life. If he Reno still harbours any warm feelings for him, Reno may begin to see it as a threat."

"You're kidding? Reno isn't like that. He wouldn't harm the man for something so...."

"Lunatic?" Cary offered.

Tseng scowled at Cary now for a totally different reason. "You're not joking are you Caryla."

It was a statement, not a question. Cary answered anyhow.

"I wish I were. He practically said it to me himself, maybe not in so many words but it was there. And I very much doubt that he was playing with me."

"What do you want me to do?" Tseng asked quite serious.

"I want to go and pay Mr Evans a visit tomorrow, and I would like very much for you to be there."

"I have doubled duties now that Rude is off the roster. My day is full. Today and tomorrow."

"Tomorrow evening?"

Tseng looked sceptical. "You really wish for me to be there?"

"I want to make sure that Mr Evans appreciates the seriousness of the situation and he may want a friendlier face there than just a complete stranger. Please Tseng. I'll buy you dinner and drinks afterwards if you agree." she tempted.

Tseng hardly needed tempting. Caryla was right. And even he had to admit that Reno's behaviour had been a little more odd that usual. He still felt that Cary was over exaggerating the situation, but that only gave him more reason to be there. If nothing else, to stop Cary from scaring Reeve too badly.

"Okay, set it up and tell me when and where. I still say that you're taking this too seriously. Something like this doesn't just happen over night Caryla. Especially not to a guy like Reno."

"I agree." She replied evenly. "But I don't happen to think that this is something that did happen within the past month even. I think this has been coming for a very long time. Turks are trained to cover their feelings and keep them in check. I can only assume that because Reno has been letting his facade drop, that it must finally be getting to be too much for him."

"I hope your wrong Caryla."

"So do I. After all there's a first time for everything right?"

Indeed this would be the first time that Caryla had been wrong about something so serious.

**************************************************************

Reno took in the familiar settings around him as he closed the apartment door softly behind him. It was all about stealth. He had to get in and then get back out again undetected. Nobody was home, but it wouldn't stay that way for too much longer. Already the sun was starting to dip below the horizon.

_He's such a workaholic, he won't be home for hours._

But Reno couldn't be totally sure. 

He wasn't even sure why he'd come to Reeve's apartment in the first place. To search for something he was trying to convince himself wasn't there anymore. Or to assure himself that it was? Whatever it was it had drawn him back to the apartment like a moth to a flame. He often found himself doing things before he actually realised what he was doing. Indeed, the moment he'd gotten off work he had found himself stalking the all too familiar neighbourhood before realised where it was he was actually heading toward.

Reno bent down and picked up a piece of clothing off the floor, puzzling over it for a second. Reeve was such a tidy freak that Reno was surprised to find the shirt so hazardly strewn on the ground. He turned on the lamp by the table to get a better look at the apartment. Sure enough he found a clothes trail leading into the bedroom. Reno let the shirt fall from his fingers and followed the curious trail, past the couch and into the other room. The trail stopped with a pair of dark grey suit pants lying in front of the open wardrobe door.

Obviously he had gotten home late and was rushed to change and get back to work this morning. That meant that he had not spent last night here. Did he spend it with Scarlet? 

Reno remembered that it had been Rufus out on the street with Reeve last night, not Scarlet.

"Too traumatised to go home last night were you Reeve?" Reno asked the discarded pants in quite an amused tone.

Turning away from the wardrobe, Reno's eyes fell onto the bed. The beautiful, plush, king sized bed that he had slept in for over a month. Always comforted, warm and relaxed.

Reno shook his head as if trying to clear it.

He walked over to the offensive piece of furniture and crawled onto it, sprawling himself atop the carefully made sheets.

_It smells like him._

Reno got up quickly as the thought crosses his brain.

_What the fuck am I doing here? Indulging in some perverse desire to remind myself of a time with 'him'?_

Reno would have thought he'd gained an obsession over his lost lover. But he knew he hadn't. Obsessions don't make you break up with the same person your obsessed with. An obsession would mean that you'd want to get as close to that person as possible, not alienate them with your very presence. It didn't make sense.

_But neither do a lot of the things I do._

_ Reno didn't want to think about it. He ignored his little voice of sanity and let his body take over for a while. Another thing he'd been doing a lot of lately. Last night, yesterday in training and in the showers with Tseng. It was like a ride. He could see himself doing and saying things that normally he might say he'd never do. The times where he'd just let himself go and saw what happened. Often he didn't really know what had happened till after it had happened. The memory would exist in his mind like a dream lingers in your consciousness just after you wake. You're not sure if it was real or if you dreamt or made it up._

Reno shut the door on the wardrobe to reveal the full-length mirror that adorned the door. He'd found that he'd also acquired an obsessive interest in his won reflection. Somehow, seeing himself moving and doing these things made it more real. Yes that was him. Yes that was me and I really did /that/. Until he saw the mirror it was easy to pretend that he was just a spectator in all of this. But seeing himself, the fierce gleam in his eyes the fierce look crossing his features, bought him back down to earth. A reminder of who he was and what he'd become.

He bit his lip as he stared at the wild-eyed man before him with immense hatred. He tried to force his eyes away. He had to leave before Reeve got home. He didn't fear confrontation with the man, at least not fear for himself. But he had let go already. This demon that was staring back at him was in control now, and Reno didn't trust what might happen.

In the reflection he saw a bright red liquid trickle slowly over his chin. 

He had bitten through his lip.

_Funny, shouldn't that hurt?_

_ He lifted a finger and caught a drop of it before it could drip down onto the carpet._

He stood and stared at his red stained finger for a moment in thought before reaching up to the glass surface of the mirror. On the other side of the glass the demon's lips curled up into an evil smile.

***************************************************************

"You sure you'll be okay?" Rufus asked as he and Reeve made their way down to the parking garage.

Reeve nodded, "Yeah, couple of beers and a nice hot shower."

"Sounds like you've got your night planned." Rufus replied dryly. Obviously it wasn't his idea of a good time.

They stopped by Rufus' pride and joy, his beautiful Shinra Class Executive Model K. It was sleek, it was red and it was unmistakably Rufus.

"Thanks for the ride home and everything." Reeve said for maybe the tenth time since lunch.

Rufus waved him off and unlocked the door for him. "Least I could do. I feel enough of a shit for last night."

"It wasn't your fault." Reeve assured. "I don't think anybody could have seen that coming."

They climbed inside the car and settled into their respective seats. Immediately Reeve nearly melted into the leather seats. It almost made him want to buy one. Cars were a bit of impracticality in Midgar though. Parking was a nightmare, and you could easily get everywhere you wanted to go in the city in under half an hour on public transport or foot.

He seriously doubted that that thought ever occurred to Rufus though. Rufus was still Rufus. He was the kind of guy that craved such possessions if only just to show himself off a bit.

"I doubt even Reno did." Rufus muttered in agreement.

He started the engine at sat back into his seat. After letting the car idle for long enough he threw the car into gear and screeched out of the parking space and up the ramp into daylight.

After getting over the initial shock, Reeve managed to pry his hands off the dashboard and fold them neatly into his lap. He tired to act as though he wasn't frightened, but it wasn't fooling Rufus who was smirking at him slightly.

"You should wait until I really get her moving."

They raced through the roads at breakneck speed. They dodged pedestrians, cars even the odd lamppost. What made it really worrying was that Rufus seemed to know exactly what he was doing. If he didn't, Reeve could simply pass it off as just bad driving. But the look on Rufus' face told him, that Rufus drove like this on purpose.

Finally they arrived in front of Reeve's building. More precisely they can to a bone crunching hand brake assisted stop in front of Reeve's building.

Reeve got out on shaky legs, and tested his weight on the sidewalk for a moment.

"Thanks for the ride." He said politely into the open door.

Rufus just grinned back at him. "Anytime Reeve."

Reeve shut the door and watched until the red car disappeared down the road and squealed around a corner.

Reeve just shook his head and wandered into his building.

_ *******************************_

Dropping his keys onto the table, Reeve closed the door behind him and locked it. He spotted the shirt he'd dropped on the floor this morning and stooped down to pick it up. 

This morning he'd had to rush home from Rufus' place a couple of sectors over just so he'd have enough time to get in, get dressed and get back out again. It hadn't been easy, but he'd managed to get into work on time.

As usual, Reeve made a beeline for the kitchen and the beer contained within his refrigerator. On the way he passed his phone and answering machine. The light on the machine was blinking rapidly. It actually surprised him to see he had any messages. Most of his staff and friends had his PHS number, so he'd never really had to use the answering machine. Still, day after day, he'd still turn it on before he left for work just in case.

Curious, he tapped a button on the machine before resuming his initial course to the kitchen.

The first message came on as he pulled out his first beer.

/ "Hello, Mr Evans. This is the Assistant Manager of the Accounting Department. I have looked through our records and have found that you have missed your last monthly payment of your electricity bill. I'm sure this is just an oversight,"/

Reeve smacked his forehead as he listened. He'd gotten so forgetful lately.

/ "but the payment does need to be payed before the next monthly instalment is due. Thankyou Mr Evans."/

Grabbing a pen off the top of the fridge, he made his way back over to the phone. On the pad by the phone he scribbled a reminder to himself about the bill as the next message came on.

/ "Hiya Reeve, it's Katie. I just wanted you to remember that I go on my holidays tomorrow. Hopefully you can do without me for a week or so and I won't come back to Midgar to find the whole Department in shambles. You know you can't do without me. Anyway, you have my PHS number in case anything goes really wrong, and you have the number of where I'm staying in Costa Del Sol. But only call if something goes really wrong this is the first holiday I've had in two years so keep that in mind. I guess I'll see you when I get back. Don't let Marcus near my work either. Bye."/

Reeve just shook his head at the phone. Katie was his chief engineer. She worried, she talked too much, but she was a good worker and a nice girl. He could just imagine how many check-up phone calls he was going to get off her through the week. There was a reason Katie hadn't had a holiday in two years. She was a bit of a control freak.

/ "Mr Evans, my name is Doctor Ellson. We haven't met, but I would very much like to talk to you regarding...well, something I believe is of great importance. I'd really prefer not to discuss this over your machine. If you could ring my office tomorrow I would like to set up an appointment with you."/

Reeve listened to the rest of the message with a totally confused expression. What could this doctor want with him? Still he jotted down her number as she gave it vowing to ring her office first thing in the morning to find out.

The next message was brief. The were a few moments of silence before whoever it had been hung up on there end. It was a common thing to find on your answering machine. Often people rang and then hung up after they realised you weren't home. He didn't understand how afraid people were about talking on answering machines.

It was the last message.

Reeve finished off his beer and set the empty bottle on the counter. He strode across the lounge room, stopping occasionally to pick up yet another stray piece of clothing and carrying it to his bedroom to dump it on his bed. He pulled off his tie and added it to the heap on his bed and turned back to his wardrobe to get some casual clothes to change into.

The wardrobe was open, just as he'd left it. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from on of the shelves and threw them back onto a clear space on his bed. Turning his attention back to the shirt he was wearing he began to undo the buttons with one hand. With the other he reached out and shut the wardrobe door.

And froze. Just above his reflection in the left hand corner, three words were spelt out. Willing himself to move closer he ran a finger lightly over the red writing. His finger came back stained crimson. It was blood.

"Do it again." He said softly reading the words out loud.__

His mouth went dry and his breath caught in his throat. He found himself unable to move from the spot. He didn't have to think long before he recognised the words. After all he'd said them himself a little over a month ago.

If Reeve had the breath, he figured he might have screamed.

********************************************************

"You sure this is the place?"

Corlae turned to his companion and offered him a toothy grin.

"This is where it said. This is the address. What you startin' to chicken out Bobby?"

Bobby shook his head and watched his feet as they walked across the street to the apartment building. He was unsure. Corlae didn't seem to be. No, his friend was quite eager. After all, it's not often that a guy gets so highly recommended. 'specially the ones that come from up on the plates.

But that was what he was so unsure about. Why would a guy like that be up on the plates to start with? Corlea insisted that it was probably because he was so good. Bobby had to agree with some of the logic in that one. If the rumours were true, and this guy could really do all what was bragged about, then he would be quite the wealthy man.

Still, something ticked at the back of his brain that told him something was terribly wrong with this set-up.

The reached the building and went up to the apartment they were told about and knocked on the door. 

Bobby looked at his friend that was practically drooling with the anticipation. The door was answered within a couple of seconds by a man in a faded pair of grey pants and a black shirt. Bobby didn't know what he had been expecting, but it wasn't this.

"Hiya boys." The man greeted brightly. "Do I need to ask what you're doing here?"

Bobby looked the redhead in front of them carefully. For some reason this guy looked oddly familiar. But for the life of him, he couldn't remember from where.

Corlea nodded and leered at the young man. "You could, but I think you could guess."

The man at the door didn't seem fazed by the looks he was receiving off Corlea. In fact he looked rather happy to see them both.

"Do you boys mind if we take our business elsewhere? The neighbours here are already plotting to get me evicted as it is."

The man's casual attitude to the meeting was doing wonders to soothe Bobby's nerves, but something about the man's appearance was still a little unsettling.

Corlea didn't look worried in the least. "Sure, where did you have in mind?" 

"Weeellll, there's a nice little place over in seven if you don't mind making the trip."

"Not at all." Corlea replied instantly.

"Okay give me twenty and I'll meet you over at The Majestic in the lobby."

Corlea leered some more and nodded. "Sure thing, see you then."

The man smiled pleasantly once more and shut the door.

Bobby elbowed his friend in the ribs. "We can't afford no place like that Lea, let alone what this guy'll charge us."

Corlea rolled his eyes at Bobby apparently unfazed. "Hey I been saving a bit, and if the rumours are true, this could well be worth it."

***************************************************************

Reno looked down at his palms.

Red.

It was a pretty colour really. It sure looked better on those two bozo's that he would have ever thought.

He went to the sink in the adjacent kitchen and washed his hands. If anyone saw him walking out of here like this, he was in for a world of trouble. But he'd gotten what he'd come for. A name and a place. He'd only meant to rough the two up a bit. Find out some information. But that guy just /had/ to start shouting. And he'd let loose.

Once he'd cleaned himself up, he walked back into the main room where the two bodies were sprawled over the carpet. 

Red.

So much really for two people.

One of the guy's wallets were laying on the counter where he'd left it after counting out how much he was prepared to spend.

Against his better judgement, Reno picked up the wallet and flipped through its contents until he came upon the man's work permit.

_Robert Edwards._

_ Reno flipped the wallet closed and threw it toward its owner._

"Well, Bobby I must be off. Hope I preformed up to your expectations."

His voice was cold, hard, not the amusing tone he'd meant for.

Turning from the scene he opened the door and left.

In the lobby he eyed a few of the security camera's that lined the room. Even if they did figure out who done it, he didn't care. He was a Turk, the cops knew that. Nobody would be game to question him or Shinra.

He idly wondered how many more people would come to his door looking for a good time after this. 

***********************

Notes: well that's one way to deal with Rufus' prank against him, if not a little on the sadistic side. Well, I won't comment much again, I'll just let this one ride. Reading back over it, these last few chapters, I don't think there was anyway I could explain what was going on anyway, even if I tried.

_Comments welcome_

_AF_

_anime_fearie@excite.com_

_All Stories can be found at Neo Midgar on the 70th Floor_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/_

_Don't forget my mailing list!_


	9. A Taste Of Life

I Will Be The One.

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter 9.

A Taste Of Life.

            Reeve put down the phone and sat back in his chair.  The mysterious Doctor Ellson wasn't in her office.  But she had left instructions that if he was willing to meet, that she would swing by his apartment this evening.  That was fine by him.  Actually he had become increasingly interested in the message left on his machine after finding the words written on his mirror.  He had this instinct that she might have something to do with what was going on. Namely with Reno.  

            Reno had mentioned that he had to see a psychologist as part of his probation.  This morning Reeve had  looked her up in the company profiles and had learned that Dr Ellson was the psychologist that dealt with Solider recruits and the like.

            It made him nervous though, that Ellson wanted to talk to him.  

            _Did Reno mention me to her?_

            He found it unlikely that if he had, Reno would have hardly given out Reeve's name.  

            _So why me?_

            Maybe she wanted to talk to one of his close friends as part of the whole process.

            _Tseng, Rufus, Rude....why not them then?_

_            Actually there was nothing to suggest that Ellson hadn't already talked to a couple of them, if not all.  Maybe she would see them all.  That seemed far more likely._

            _Well, maybe not Rufus._

            She wouldn't bug the VP about this.  Not if she wanted to keep her job.  Rufus wouldn't fire her, but she wouldn't know that.  The scary son of President Shinra.  Walking through the halls yesterday with Rufus, Reeve had noticed people wary of his presence.  That Rufus might fire them or yell at them just for being there.  Rufus was more than famous.  He was feared.  And for the life of him, Reeve couldn't work out why.  

            _It's the name._

            _Shinra._

            He had thought about going to see Rufus about what he'd found in his apartment yesterday.  He'd even thought about going and seeing Rude about it.  

            There was something very wrong here.  Reno was coming to his apartment and writing him little messages on his mirror.  In blood no less.  He was scared  That much he could admit.  However, he was loath the tell any of his other friends about what happened.  What would they think?  What would they do? Neither were appealing thoughts.  In fact the only person he felt was level headed enough to tell was Tseng.  Then again Tseng didn't know about him and Reno and without knowing what Tseng might say about that, he'd prefer just to stay silent. Even if he came home to another night of writing in blood.

            _Reno what happened?  I go away for a couple of days, come home to find all this?  I miss you._

_            He looked back at his desk and to the mountains of paperwork that had started to collect.  He really didn't feel like doing it right now.  For the first time in ages he couldn't bring himself to even lift his pen, let alone work._

            Stealing a glance at the clock he noticed that it was only half way through the morning and already he'd felt as if he'd worked over time.  He needed some sedatives and a bed.  Hell he didn't even need the bed, he'd fall asleep anywhere so long as he got some rest.

            Picking up his phone again, he decided to call for his assistant to come in.  He wasn't going to get any work done today anyway.  He might as well go home.

                        ***********************************************

            Cary twisted the phone cord around her finger as she listened to the ringing on the other end.  

            Finally someone picked up the other end.

            / "Tseng."/

            Cary breathed a sigh of relief at the Turk's voice.  After her luck today she had thought that she wouldn't be able to get a hold of him.

            "Hi Tseng, It's Caryla.  I have good news and bad news.  Can we talk?"

            / "For a few moments.  Do you want me to come up?"/

            "No that's not necessary.  Mr Evans called my office this morning, he's agreed to meet this evening."

            / "I take it that's the good news."/

            "Yeah, well, the bad news is that I took your advice and went to see Heidgar this morning."

            Cary scowled as she remembered the heated meeting.  

            "He wasn't listening  He just kept telling me that Reno is performing well, and that I was worrying for nothing.  I persisted, but I think I just managed to piss him off.  I even threatened to go to the press and tell them about Shinra employing mentally unstable people into the Turks and he just laughed and told me; heh well at least the PR people will have something to do for a change."

            / "You actually told him that?  Did you mean it?"/

            "No."  She conceded.  "I admit that that would hurt too many people.  I just did it to see how he would respond.  Needless to say, I wasn't all that impressed.  He didn't seem to care who I told, you, the president anybody."

            / "That doesn't seem very like Heidigar.  Are you sure he thought you were serious?"/

            "I told him that I didn't care whether I lost my job over this.  This is a serious issue, and I think he thought I was perfectly serious.  Hell at the time I think I was sincere about going through with it."

            / "Be careful who you say that to Caryla.  They might actually take you genuinely and that could lead you toward another set of problems."/

            "I know, I'm not stupid Tseng.  I just wanted him to reconsider his decision.  At least for a little while."

            Cary rubbed her left temple with her free hand.  She could feel that effects of  migraine starting to cloud her senses.

            / "Do you want me to try?"/

            "I didn't think that you agreed with me Tseng."

            / "I don't.  But I believe in being cautious./"

            She rested the phone in the crook of her neck and started to rummage through her drawers for her bottle of aspirin she always kept handy.

            "Thanks for the offer, but I don't think you'd have anymore luck than I did to be honest.  Don't ask me why Heidigar is suddenly so interested in Reno's being back on full duty.  It's almost protective."

            Tseng went silent of the other end of the line for a few seconds before; "So when are we going to go visiting tonight?  Do I still get that dinner?"/

            Tseng was trying to be light-hearted about it all, but she got the impression that he wasn't really looking forward to any of it.

            "Sure, but dinner comes after the meeting. Gods know I'll need to unwind after that little talk.  It's my treat so I'll pick you up at 6:30 outside your place.  How's that?"

            / "Sounds like a plan.  See you then Caryla."/

            Cary found the bottle and tapped out two onto the desk.

            "Yeah, 'bye."

                        ***********************************************

            "Where's Reeve?"

            Rufus scowled at the person sitting at Reeve's desk.  A man of about thirty that somehow managed to look twice his age.  Rufus recognised him as the assistant to the Head of Urban Development.  But what was he doing in Reeve's office?

            The other man looked at Rufus with clear apprehension.  "Mr Evans has gone home sick Sir, is there something I can do for you?"

            "Sick?"  Rufus asked.

            "Yes, Sir.  Is something wrong?"

            Rufus ignored the man and turned away from the door, heading back to his own office.  As far as  Rufus was aware, Reeve had only taken maybe five days off the five years he'd been working for Shinra.  Two since he'd really known the man personally.  One a month ago, the same day that Reno had been suspended.  Scarlet had filled him in on the details of why.  And today.  Rufus got the impression that it wasn't for the same reason.

            Rufus plopped down into his extravagant leather chair and picked up his phone, prepared to dial Reeve's number, and stopped.

            For  a while he sat there and stared at the phone.

            _Why am I doing this?_

            Reeve was his friend fair enough, but he'd never been worried about his friends so much before.  Had he?

            He hadn't even gone and seen Tseng last time he'd been in hospital, or Rude for that matter.  Reno was always a different matter though.  Usually if he ended up in hospital, it was life threatening to say the least.  When Reno got injured, he really went all out.  

            He cared what happened to them, didn't he?

            He did, sitting by Reno's bedside for hours one night was testament to that.

            _Then why am I only really concerned about some and not others?_

_            He didn't really have an answer.  All he knew was that Reno was troubled and Reeve was hurting for it.  He wanted to help.  _

            And that shocked the shit out of him.

            _I don't have to help these people.  They're capable, they can fend for themselves._

            Rufus replaced the receiver.  If Reeve wanted to talk, he decided, Reeve would ring /him/.  

            He sat there and stared at the phone for a while longer.

            "Fuck."  He muttered.

            He got up from his chair and left his office and the piles of work that was still waiting for him to do.  He had to see Reno.

                        ************************************************

            Reno came back to his office to find Rufus casually reclined in his chair and a glass of Reno's emergency vodka, that he'd secreted away in his filing cabinet, clasped in one hand.  It wasn't odd for Reno to find Rufus in such a position, and so didn't remark upon it when he came in.  He just perched himself on the other side of the desk and snatched the glass off Rufus to take a sip of his own.

            "You took your fucking time."  Rufus stated.

            "Had to go see Heidigar.  Bored?"

            Rufus shook his head.  "I have a heap of work waiting for me on my desk, instead I find myself having to come down here to visit you."

            Reno handed back the glass.  "You make it sound like a chore."

            Rufus didn't immediately respond.  He took his feet off the desk and placed the glass on the desktop, leaning forward.  

            "It is.  I'm concerned."

            Reno raised an eyebrow at Rufus but didn't respond.  He didn't need to, Rufus knew what it meant.

            "I know it shocked the hell out of me too.  But I think you know what this is about." He said in all honesty.

            "It wasn't me."  He said simply, almost bored.

            "Oh?  So that was another red-head in a dark blue suit carrying a nightstick that I saw that night?"  Rufus responded sarcastically.

            "No, /that/ was me.  But I had nothing to do with that building."

            "You sure didn't look shocked when I saw you."

            Reno sighed and picked up the glass again.  "Nothing shocks me anymore.  Singed were you?"

            "Rather."  Rufus rested his elbows on the desk and looked up at Reno, his expression clearly stating that he didn't believe a word being told to him.

            "I just wanted to know if this was a random act of aggression, or if Shinra was behind it all."

            "I told you, it had nothing to do with me.  I was just heading down to the bar when the thing went up."

            It seemed obvious that Reno wasn't going to admit to anything. At least not yet

            "You sure had /us/ fooled."

            "Oh yes? Bet Reeve was a little shaken."  Reno's expression brightened considerably.  "I have to thank you in regards to Reeve by the way."

            "Hmmm?"

            "You told him about me seeing Scarlet's e-mail.  Sure saved me a lot of time.  Bet he told you all about it huh?"

            "You know damn well that Scarlet knew.  You think she would have kept it from me?  And I can't believe you're being so calm about it all.  Look at you, you look overjoyed."  Rufus accused sourly.  "He's a good guy Reno.  Better than the sluts and sleazes you usually go for.  I thought you were smarter than this."

            "If he's so great, why don't you go and fuck him."

            "I would if I were inclined to."  Rufus shot back.

            Reno calmly got up from his desk and wandered over to the door.  

            Rufus thought he was leaving.  Instead he watched Reno kick the door closed and flick the lock.  That done he started stalking back over toward Rufus.

            Rufus saw the look etched on Reno's face and sprang to his feet, ready to defend himself from the expected blow.

            Reno grabbed Rufus' collar and hit him.  In a very unexpected way.

            Once over the initial shock Rufus let his eyes close as Reno's lips moved harshly over his.  He hardly had anytime to think about what was happening.  All he knew was that, he had expected an ass-kicking and had gotten this.  Compared to the ass-kicking, this was way more welcomed.

            He felt his back hit the wall as Reno continued his bruising assault.

            Reno eventually pulled back, but only a few inches so he could still stare directly at Rufus face.  Slowly Rufus' eyes opened to meet Reno's bright blue eyes, sharp and cold.  His mind had gone on vacation.  He couldn't think of how to respond, not to mention how he felt about it.

            "How inclined do you feel now?"  Reno said icily.

            "It wouldn't matter."  Rufus replied softly, dazed.  "He wouldn't care. The poor bastard is in love with you."

            Reeve had never admitted the fact to Rufus before, but Rufus knew better.  He could see it, he didn't need to hear it.

            For a brief instant Rufus saw Reno's expression turn sad.  Almost regretful.  It was soon replaced again though.

            Rufus was still backed up against the wall, Reno's hand still clutching his collar.  He didn't bother to move though, but he did continue talking in that soft numb voice.

            "What's happened to you.  When did you stop caring?"

            "When did you start?"

            It was a valid question.  Something Rufus had been pondering himself just before coming down here.  

            "The moment I saw two of my friends hurting.  You have to straighten this out Reno or you're going to loose it.  Both Reeve and your mind.  You see it happening don't you?"

            "Do I look like I fucking care?  Blame the bombing on me and tell me I'm going insane.  Go fuck Reeve, or get Scarlet to if you want to carry on with that little denial ploy you keep playing on.  I don't fucking care!"

            Reno sure did have a direct method of proving his suspicions.  

            "If I thought I had a chance I probably would."  Rufus finally admitted.  

            Reno released him then, forcing Rufus to stand on his own.  It wasn't an easy task.

            "I want you to take a vacation."  Rufus told him, trying to regain his usually firm composure.  "That's an order."

            Reno cocked his head to one side, totally unthreatened.  "Blow me."

            "If I have to I'll force it."  Rufus told him.  "I don't care what Heidigar or Tseng have to say about it."

            "Go ahead and try."  Reno challenged.  "Now fuck off, I have work to do."

            Rufus straightened his back and started for the door.  He flicked open the lock and opened the door.

            "And stay out of my personal life." He heard from behind him.

            Rufus left the office and closed the door behind him, stopping briefly to collect his thoughts before starting back toward the elevators.  He could have sworn that last bit had been a threat.

                                                *************************

            Reno watched as the door closed behind Rufus with a soft thump.  He couldn't help thinking about how many people there were around here that seemed intent on bringing down his good moods.  It seemed as soon as he forced a grin onto his face, somebody would spring up and totally stamp him down again.

            What was all this anyway?  He was starting to feel a little cornered by all the attention.

            Ellson tells him that Tseng is concerned, Reeve pipes up, then Ellson herself weighs  in with the heavy concern.  He knew he'd hit rock bottom though when Rufus starts showing him sympathy.  And what for?  It was all so totally unfounded! He could hardly even figure out what had made Tseng request the psych evaluations in the first place.  If anything was the matter with him, it was because of all these 'concerned' people constantly hounding him.  It was a method of torture!

            He grit his teeth and willed himself to relax.  He sat in his chair and picked up Rufus' discarded glass, downing the rest of the contents.

            _Rufus._

            It almost put Reno back into a happy mood thinking about it.  He had known that Rufus wasn't totally straight for a while.  At least he'd had his suspicions.  Reno might have actually gone so far as to think that Rufus had actually enjoyed the kiss.

            Reno enjoyed being able to prove himself right, even if he had probably just embarrassed the VP of Shinra.  It was worth it.  Served him right too, digging his nose in where it didn't belong.  But that was Rufus for you, he'd do anything to stay in the loop, anything to be in on all the plum gossip.

            _Probably why he's being so chummy with Reeve._

            It wasn't as if Reno hadn't noticed the blossoming friendship between the two.  Lunches in Reeve's office.  After work drinkies together.  He'd even seen Rufus drop Reeve off after work yesterday.  He'd been just down the street from Reeve's apartment building when Rufus' pride and joy had screeched to a halt outside the apartment building.

            He couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy.  Rufus was one of his best friends and Reeve was his......what?  

            The truth was that Reeve wasn't Reno's anything anymore.  He knew this was true, but it was still weird to think about it.  He had no rights when it came to who Reeve hung out with, needless to say who the man slept with.  After all, wasn't he the one who had seduced his own boss in the showers the day after he'd told Reeve it was off?

            It didn't matter what was fair or what logic told him.  He still felt that little twinge of jealously.  It was alright for Reno to go fuck whoever he wanted, so why didn't Reeve have the same rights?

            _Because with him it isn't just sex.  It's not meaningless._

_            Reno had felt that when he was with him, and he couldn't come to terms with the fact that somebody else might get to experience that.  Didn't make it any more fair though._

            He sighed heavily and pulled open the file sitting on his desk.  He hadn't lied to Rufus, he did have work to do.  Yet again somehow something had distracted him.  His mind had wandered and it was interfering with his work.  He tried to push the thoughts of Reeve away and concentrate, but for the life of him, his brain just wouldn't shut up. 

            There were too many distractions in his life.  Reeve, his friends, his boss.  Only two people were able to get to him so much though.  Only two whose faces and words kept circling his mind, dredging up bad memories forcing their way into his thoughts.

            He bent over the file Heidigar had had delivered to his office earlier.  On the inside cover was tacked a photograph to go along with the person's personnel file.  Not that he needed to go through all that junk.  If he were to follow Heidigar's instructions on this one, all he'd need would be an address and a gun.

            He pulled the photo free  and held it closer to his face to look it over carefully.

            _One of the voices, one of the major distractions._

            Reno slid the side of his thumb over the image.

            "Been snooping about me have you?"  He said out loud, apparently addressing the photograph.  "Can make threats to these people.  I guess they just decided which of us was more important to them."

            He almost smiled as he replaced the photo inside the folder and closed it.

            _I can do this._

_            He just wished that he didn't have to keep reassuring himself of that._

            Almost instantly the beginnings of his smile faded.

            _Fuck._

                                    **********************************

            At his own desk, Rufus was hunched over, his left hand massaging his temples as he waited for his secretary to bring him the coffee he'd asked for when he'd returned.  All the while his mind was whirling.

            _Reno blew that building._

_            He killed all those people._

_            And he had seemed happy about it._

_            Reno killing people was nothing new.  This was the first time he'd seen or heard of the Turk going to such extreme measures to nail his mark.  There was at least one possibly two tenants in that building apart from Kramer.  Only a couple, but still, they had nothing to do with the grudge that Shinra seemed to have against Kramer._

            That bought up another question.

            _Why would Shinra want Kramer dead?_

            Kramer had been with the company for as long as Rufus could remember.  He had seemed loyal, competent.  So why all this for one man?

            His thoughts were interrupted as his secretary entered holding a message pad in one hand, his coffee cup in the other.

            She smiled kindly at him as she set the cup on the desk in front of him.

            "I have your messages for you Mr Shinra."

            Rufus leant back into his chair and raised his eyes to her.  He liked his new secretary.  She must be fifty and looked every bit the sweet old granny.  Not exactly someone he'd like to throw down onto his desk and fuck.  But unlike Wendy, the woman was extremely competent.  First task he'd set her to, he'd almost fallen out of his chair in surprise when she'd actually done it perfectly.

            "Thankyou Ruby.  Anything important?"

            Before continuing Ruby looked him over carefully.

            "Are you feeling alright Sir?  You look a little flushed."

            Rufus wasn't surprised.        

            Rufus nodded.  "I'm fine.  Little too much for one day is all.  My messages?"

            "Ah, yes..."  Ruby flicked threw her message pad for a second before coming to the correct page.  

            "You have a meeting tomorrow at 10am.  Department Heads, Higher Management and the Administrative Research Division will be in attendance."

            "Head honchos and the Turks."  Rufus muttered.  "That should be interesting."

            Ruby wisely chose not to comment and continued.

            "Scarlet has called twice.  She would like to see you down at her department if you have the opportunity."

            "Also if I'm incredibly stupid.  If she calls again tell her to make an appointment."  

            "Yes Sir.  Urban Development called in that Mr Evans has fallen ill and has left for the rest of the day.  Mr Carlson will be filling in."

            Rufus nodded.  He had known about that already.

            "You have an appointment with Doctor Caryla Ellson tomorrow at 9am."

            This last one bought a smile to his face.  He liked Caryla.  Or rather he liked looking at Caryla.  Pity she seemed to have a thing for Tseng.  It wasn't hard to notice how she acted around the Turk.  So far he hadn't had the heart to tell her that Tseng wouldn't go for her.  She wasn't exactly his type. Still she was rather an engaging woman.  Intelligent and sympathetic.  Went with the territory he supposed.

            "Did she mention what it was about?"

            "No Sir, I'm sorry she didn't."

            Ruby closed her message pad and tucked it into one of her pockets.  "Will there be anything else Mr Shinra?"

            "No thankyou.  I don't want to be disturbed for a while though okay?"

            She nodded.  "Yes Sir."

            He waited until the door bumped shut behind her before turning eyes to his phone.  He debated calling Reeve again.

            He knew he probably shouldn't, but he decided to anyway.

            He cradled the phone in the crook of his neck and turned to his computer to check his messages there.

            After a few rings the phone was answered by a very weary sounding Reeve.

            "You could have told me you were going home, you made me miss lunch."  Rufus made sure he didn't sound offended.

            / "Sorry Rufus.  I didn't think."/

            Rufus tapped a few keys to open his mailbox. 

            "So are you really sick, or should I not bother with the false sympathy."

            He smiled slightly as he heard Reeve give a quiet chuckle on the other end.  /"I'm definitely not feeling 100 percent.  I just needed some rest.  I wasn't getting anything done at work."/

            "Well it was probably...."  Rufus trailed off as he scanned his inbox.  Mail from a few days ago still lay undeleted, him not having bothered checking his mail since the day Reeve came back from Junon.

            / "Rufus?"/  Reeve asked on the other end.

            "Sorry, just checking my e-mail.  There's a letter from The Accounting Department.  Kramer's office specifically.  It's probably nothing, I mean I get updates from him all the time."

            Rufus clicked on the link to open the letter.

            "Interesting."  Rufus muttered as he scanned the short letter.

            / "What?"/  Reeve asked curiously.

            "It's an enquiry into the expenditures for the Science Department.  Don't ask me why he'd send it to me."

            / "Do you think..."/

            "I doubt it."  Rufus cut him off.  "But I guess I should check into it at least."

            / "Want some help?"/

            Rufus rolled his eyes.  "Reeve you do not take sick days to do more work.  The point of a sick day is to rest and recover.  Besides this is Science Department stuff.  /I/ shouldn't even be looking into it really."

            / "I wouldn't be looking at anything that I wouldn't be able to normally access."/

            Rufus didn't feel like arguing.  It was interesting that Kramer would send him a notice about Science Department expenditures.  The only reason he would call for an enquiry would be because that Department may have gone over its budget.  However, it was basically impossible to go over budget without getting presidential approval to begin with.

            "Ah, what the hell, knock yourself out.  Want me to drop over later, compare notes?"

            He knew Reeve would probably see through it.  That he really just wanted to come over to check up on him, but Rufus didn't care.

            "Yeah, thanks.  I kinda want to talk to you about something anyway."

            "Sure.  Are you really okay Reeve?"

            "Yeah, I'll be fine.  See you later."

            Rufus didn't believe a word of it.  "Yeah 'bye."

            *******************************************************

            The moon hung low over the horizon, it's full shape casting the streets in a beautiful silvery glow.  He actually wished they'd turn the streetlamps off so he could fully appreciate the soft glow of the natural light.  Even the darkest alleys, where the streetlamps failed to reach were illuminated tonight.

            _Nowhere to hide, no shadows, no darkness.  You can see everything, everyone._

_            The odd thought stayed with him for most of his journey through the streets.  That and others._

            People.  Places. Faces.  His face.

            _It won't leave me alone._

            The whole afternoon he had tried to concentrate on work, on his impending job.  But somehow the distractions just kept coming.  Feelings that he knew he shouldn't be feeling.  Thoughts he shouldn't be having.

            _Maybe Rufus is right.  Maybe I will lose my mind._

            _'...monster'_

_            Maybe I have._

_            So wrapped up in his thoughts as he was that he almost missed the building's entrance._

            Taking one last long look at the brilliant moon, one last look at the light, he turned and entered the building.

            The apartment was easy enough to find.  Street level.  Apartment 1A.  

            For the first time for the entire night he hesitated.

            Fist poised above the door, breath caught in his throat.

            It only lasted a moment though, before he let his fist descend.  A loud knock sounded.  He could hear movement on the other side of the door.  The person seemed rushed, but not wary.

            The door opened.

            "Reno?"  Cary asked, more than a little confused by his presence.

            This time Reno found it easy to let go.  To let his body go and do what it wished.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if it hadn't somehow happened earlier.  Maybe he'd already lost that small amount of control before he'd even come here.  Not that he cared.  He had a job to do, and now there would be no hesitations.

            "I thought I'd follow your advice and make another appointment."  He told her seriously.

            Cary knitted her brows, her face clearly showing her confusion.  Her eyes locked into his, and she paled slightly.

            _Did she see it?  Did she see the monster?  The demon?_

_            Yes.  _

            She went to slam the door shut, but Reno blocked her path.  His fist shot out and impacted solidly with the side of her head, the blow knocking her out.

            "How's tonight?"

                                                            *************

Notes:  Well well, the  second last chapter of this part is coming to a close and it doesn't look like it might be an expecially bright ending either.  From the moment I began writing about Reno's little spaz he's doing I thought it might be a little overblown and not extrememly realistic.  And I still believe that.  I think that this part could and probably should have gone on for twenty chapters with a more gradual description of Reno's insanity.  Still, it wasn't as though he was completely sane in the first place and I have mentioned that his downward fall has been something that has been gradually coming from before the start of the first part let alone this one.  And yes, I have begun a preface to this series telling about one of Reno's past mishaps with "A Little Boy Called Dale."  If I haven't posted that one already it will be out not long after the conclusion of the next chapter.

_            After the end of this one, 'Monsters' will be taking a little break so I can get "Temporary Insanity" done and start a new series I'm working on.  Never fear though this series WILL continue into a THIRD part titled "What You Do To Me."  And just for a change in that one I was thinking of NOT killing off the new original character.  Well, maybe, I'll have to decide Teehee._

_Chapter 10 coming soon…_

_AF_

_anime_fearie@excite.com___

_All my stories can be found on the 70th Floor Office at Neo Midgar_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/___

_New voting for Rufus VS Reno is now open so vote now!_

Don't forget, if you like my work go to my page and join my mailing list for updates, previews and chance to win great prizes!!!  (So maybe I was lying about the prizes, but the rest is true! Honest!  Join and keep AF's writing alive by not making her feel underloved *sniff*)


	10. The Death Of The Monster

I Will Be The One

_by Anime Fearie_

Chapter 10

The Death Of The Monster

_Reno stared at the mirror, and at the demon looking back at him.  The usual smirk was missing as was the mischievous gleam to his eye.  His usually bright sapphire eyes looked as cloudy and lifeless as the corpse that lay by his feet.  A small bright fleck of blood was smeared on his pale cheek, staining it a rich red._

_            Slowly his lip curled up into a feral smile giving his face a maniacal tinge.  He watched the devil in the mirror lift a long thin finger to its cheek and dipped it into the small blotch of ruby that colored his face. The demon ran the tainted finger over his lips then tasted the trail it had left with its tongue._

_            This is what true life tastes like. It's not the kiss of another, it's the taste of their blood._

_            I wonder what his tastes like._

_            His lips taste so sweet.  His life would taste sweeter._

_            He turned away from the devil in the mirror and walked back out of the bedroom door.  He was aware that if he turned he would see the demon standing at a duplicate door, about to leave the confines of the room and reek havoc where it found the desire to.  Or would the demon go to a duplicate destination as Reno himself were going.  Why not?  They left through duplicate doors, why not have the same ideas as to where to go?  Was the devil going to go and taste his life?  If Reno went to the intended place would he see this demon tasting it, reveling in its sweet flavor?  Would he taste it himself?  Or would he have to imagine himself as the devil if he wanted to?  The price wouldn't be so high if the reward was worth it._

__

_            I want more._

***

Reeve powered down his PC and leant back with a sigh.  He had been working on Rufus' little problem for most of the afternoon without much luck.  Most of the Science Department stuff was kept under strictest security and Reeve's own pass codes could only go so far.  

            The Accounting Department wasn't half as hard to gain access to, but that still didn't tell him anything.  Whatever Kramer wanted Rufus to look into, he sure as hell didn't tell anybody else from his own Department.  

            _What the hell could be so secret?_

            Reeve stood up and stretched.  He must have been sitting at his desk for at least 3hrs and now that he had turned his computer off he noticed just how dark his apartment had gotten.  Most of his curtains were open, and the full moon provided enough light for him to see most of the room. It was really quite pleasant.

            Leaving the lights off he wandered into the kitchen to grab a glass of water and check the clock.

            8:23pm.

            He got the feeling that Rufus would be late in coming over.  If Rufus was actually working on something, little could be done to distract him.  Reeve didn't mind in the least.  In fact he was glad.  His eyes felt heavy and sore from staring at the computer for too long.  He wanted a nap, and if Rufus truly was going to be late, he figured he could get in at least an hour, maybe two before having to deal with anything else.

            Taking his glass of water with him he wandered into his bedroom.  

            Shucking his shirt he climbed into his bed and got comfortable.  Reeve usually found it hard to sleep when he was stressed, but this time he was lucky and passed out almost immediately.

*

Reeve awoke to more blackness.  For a while he just lay there and 

listened to the slight traffic outside pass by o the streets below.  His still half asleep mind remembered that he'd come to have a nap before Rufus showed up.  

            _Yeah, that's right._

            A sound had woken him.  He thought Rufus had knocked or something.  He lay there for a while longer, listening.  But he heard nothing.

            _Must have been dreaming._

_            He heard it this time.  But it wasn't knocking._

            It sounded like.....

            Reeve sat up as he heard another sound, this time louder.  

            _My front door...._

            _Closing._

            Even if Rufus could pick the lock, Reeve doubted that he actually would.

            He sat there and listened for more sounds. He heard the quiet sounds of the street.  The gentle rattle of his windows from the wind. The apartment was quiet though.

            _It must have been a door down the...._

_            His thoughts broke off as he heard a more definite sound now.  Somebody had accidentally bumped the coffee table.  /His/ coffee table. In /his/ apartment._

            Reeve's heart slammed in his chest so loudly he thought the intruder might hear it.

            Of course with all the lights out it might be easy for a thief to assume that he wasn't home.  Still, it didn't make it any better.  Who's to say that the thief would run if they found out that he /was/ home.  He didn't really want to find out the answer to that one.  The odds of a confrontation seemed overwhelming though, enough for Reeve to start thinking about finding himself a weapon.

            The only thing he could think of was the knives in the kitchen. 

            _That would make as much noise getting as me shouting; I'm in here, come get me._

_            He had to move though.  Here he was a sitting duck._

            He crept out of bed and stood next to the open door to his bedroom, out of sight, but ready to catch the thief by surprise if he chanced a glance into the bedroom.

            Although the moonlight was bright in through the windows, Reeve's eyes still had to adjust properly to the gloom.  He could make out the vague shapes of his wardrobe and his bed, surely enough to see any movement from the doorway.

            He flattened himself up against the wall next to the door and waited.  Listening.

            No more sounds came from the apartment.  The silence itself was unnerving.  At least when he heard a sound, he knew where the bastard was, and he could hardly risk a peek around the doorframe.  He had no reason not to think that this person wasn't armed.

            Minutes seemed to drag by as Reeve stood poised by the door.  He had almost relaxed a little until a dark figure stepped into the doorway.  Reeve didn't hesitate.  Calling upon all the training he had received in the past, which unfortunately hadn't been a hell of a lot, he braced himself and grabbed hold of the dark figure and slammed his knee up into the other person's stomach.

            He heard his (decidedly a man by the size and shape) breath gush out with the blow. Reeve let go of the man as he fell to all fours on the floor.  Hopping over the human door block he raced through the door and made for the kitchen.

            _A knife and a phone would be very handy._

            Passing the light switch by the counter he resisted the urge to flick it on.  After all this was his apartment and he knew how to get around it in the dark better than anyone.  It might be an advantage.

            He pulled a knife out of the block on the counter and grabbed the phone off its cradle with the other hand.  Cradling the phone between his head and his shoulder he went to dial.

            _No dial tone. Shit!_

            Reeve didn't think it was a coincidence.  Whoever that was he had hit, knew he was here.  Why cut the phone line if there wasn't anybody here to call anyone.

            The phone fell from his grasp and hit the counter with a loud thud.  Much too loud.  Reeve had been making a hell of a lot of noise since he'd sprinted from the bedroom.  He thought it was worth the risk if he could only get to a phone.  But now....

            Immediately he stilled his movements and strained his ears to hear any other movements around him.  Apart from the door and the coffee table, that other guy had been very quiet.  He could have easy sneaked up on Reeve whilst Reeve had been smashing his way round the kitchen.

            He gripped the knife handle so tightly his knuckles turned white.

            No sound. No movements. Nothing.  The apartment was silent again.

            No matter what, he couldn't stay in the one spot forever.  With any luck he had hit the guy hard enough to wind him for a while. 

            _Maybe I can make a break for the door._

            He wanted to get to the door, fast.  But he controlled his movements and focused on staying as quiet as he possibly could.  It felt like he was moving way to slowly but he persevered. 

            He left the kitchen and entered the lounge room. He stopped and made a quick sweep of the room, but he found nothing moving in the shadows so he continued on to the front door.

            After what felt like and eternity he reached the door.  He gripped the doorknob and prepared himself to turn it quickly, open the door and bolt.  

            He doorknob didn't turn.  It was locked.

            _What the..._

            Someone grabbed him roughly from behind and slammed him bodily into the door.  The impact smashed his head against the door and jarred the knife from his grip.  His attacker released him and he crumpled to the floor in pain.

            Although dizzy and disorientated Reeve managed to struggle onto his knees, his hand going up to his pounding head to find a small trickle of blood just above the hairline of his forehead.

            He knew he should move, fight back, do something.  Do /anything/.  But that one simple move and almost knocked him senseless.  As it was, he felt proud of himself for not blacking out.

            He also wondered why the attack had suddenly stopped.

            He raised his eyes to the dark figure that stood silhouetted by the moonlight streaming in through the windows in front of him.  The figure didn't move, didn't speak.  He just stood there apparently satisfied that he'd knocked the fight out of his prey.

            Reeve pushed away the haze in his brain, intent on not letting that be the case. He tried to get to his feet but the man wouldn't let him. He pushed him back down roughly so he was back on his knees.  The man crouched in front of him, reaching 'round behind Reeve's head to grab a handful of hair.  He yanked Reeve's head up to face his own almost causing Reeve to cry out from the added pain to his already battered head.  The tugging stopped and the man leaned forward quickly.

            And kissed him.

            It took Reeve a few moments to process what the hell was happening.  This man had broken into his apartment, smashed him up against a door and now was kissing him?  For a while Reeve thought his fuzzy mind was playing some kind of trick on him.  But it was true. It was really happening.  

            And it was really familiar.

            _Oh gods..._

            It was the only thing that had stopped him from biting the other man.

            His lips were relinquished, but his attacker didn't bother to move away.  Reeve wasn't sure that this turn of events was a relief or even more frightening.

            "Reno?"  He choked out.

            The question bought a slight chuckle from the other man.  Not out of amusement.  It was something else.

            "Did I scare you?"

            The words chilled Reeve.  Not from what he said, but mainly from how they were spoken.  It was hardly Reno's voice.  Twisted some way, distorted.  Not Reno.

            Just as it had been out on the street the other night when Kramer's building had gone up.  That hadn't been Reno.  Well not entirely.  Not the Reno he knew.

            "What are you doing here?"  He stuttered.

            The figure shifted slightly, head inclined to one side slightly.

            "I came to see you."

            Reeve almost said; 'That's nice.' But stopped himself in time.  It didn't take all his remaining brain power to see the definite 'wrong' here.

            "What happened to knocking?"

            Reeve noticed that his vision was starting to clear a little.  He started to make out a few details of the face in front of him.  

            The feral smile and dead eyes made the man in front of him appear very deranged.

            _Who's to say he's not?_

            "I have keys.  Besides, I know how you like me to scare you."

            Reeve tired to break free from Reno's grip, but he just dug in tighter and stood.  He dragged Reeve up onto his feet, paying little heed to Reeve's painful grunts. Once they were both standing, he pushed Reeve in front of him.

            "Move."  He commanded in a cold voice.

            Reeve didn't.

            He felt something sharp poke his bare back. He twisted around to see a knife in Reno's hand.  It was the one he had dropped when he slammed into the door.

            He didn't wait for Reno to prod him again and started walking back, further into the apartment.  Reno steered him back into the direction of his bedroom.

            Once there Reeve finally chanced to turn back to look at Reno.

            Immediately he wished he hadn't.

            Not once in their entire relationship did Reno ever scare him so much to make him fear for his life.  Reno was a Turk.  He did all sorts of nasty things for a living.  But Reeve never saw that part of his life.  Maybe he had been ignorant. But he hadn't cared.  And he had never worried.  Not even when Reno had him by the throat the other night at the bar.  Not like he felt now. Now he was very worried.

            "I thought you didn't want to see me anymore."  Reeve tired again.

            No matter how hard he tired he couldn't keep his voice as calm as he had hoped to sound.

            "I didn't."  Reno told him simply.  "And no matter what I do, I can't seem to forget.  Believe me I've tried."

            He didn't sound sad or angry.  Reeve couldn't detect any emotion behind the words.

            Reno continued. "But I don't mind so much anymore."

            "Why not?"

            "I've decided to give in. Do whatever the fuck I want to do."

            Reno raised the hand that held the knife and played with the tip of the blade with his fingertips.  The moonlight from the windows bounced off the silver blade, effectively drawing Reeve's eyes where Reno wanted them to be.

            "Which is?"

            Reno stepped forward and rested the blade lightly on Reeve's chest, his eyes riveted to Reeve's.

            "I want more."

            Reeve didn't have time to react before Reno added a small amount of pressure to the knife.  The sharp blade pierced his skin making a small cut.  Reeve gasped more in surprise rather than pain.  It wasn't a large cut, but it was deep enough for the wound to start leaking blood.  He felt the warm trickle run down his chest and over his stomach.

            Reeve supposed he should be afraid of the madman that was holding him at knifepoint.  But for some inexplicable reason he became increasingly angry.  He had to actually fight down the urge to retaliate.  Until of course the infuriating bastard did it again this time slightly higher, up near his collar bone.

            With reflexes he hardly knew he possessed he reached up and grabbed Reno's wrist.

            "Stop."

            Reno seemed to regard him closely for a few seconds before bringing his other fist up into Reeve's belly.  

            Reeve grunted from the solid punch, the his anger made him a little numb to the pain.  He swung his own fist up to catch Reno's jaw.  Reno was pushed back a few steps, enough to give Reeve a little breathing space.  He settled into the fighting stance that Reno had taught him, prepared for the other man's comeback.

            Reno straightened up and moved his jaw experimentally, but he didn't try to come closer.  

            Instead Reno started laughing.  Not an amused chuckle as usual, but a full blown maniacal laugh.

            Here Reeve was prepared to enter into a fight he knew he couldn't possibly win, and Reno was actually laughing at him.

            "What the hell is /wrong/ with you Reno!?"

            Reno threw the knife over his shoulder and launched himself at Reeve.

            He was too quick and Reeve couldn't have got a single shot in before Reno tackled him, toppling the two back onto the bed. The resulting struggled ended with Reno pinning both of Reeve's hands above his head and sitting on top of him to prevent Reeve moving any further.  Still it didn't stop Reeve from squirming or trying to buck the other man off him.

            "Now now Reeve, I just want a taste."

            Reno slid further down his body and ran his tongue up the blood trail down Reeve's torso, slowly as if savoring the taste.

            "I knew you'd taste good."  Reno told his captive.  

            Reeve realized that his pitiful struggles weren't doing him any good.  In fact it just seemed to add to Reno's enthusiasm.  So he stopped.

            Reno raised an eyebrow at him.  "Giving up so soon?"

            "Why are you doing this?"  He asked.

            "Because I can.  Because I want to."

            "You don't want to do this.  Not like /this/."  Reeve told him.  "You're not like this."

            Reno's expression turned to stone.  "What the fuck do you know about me!"

            Despite Reno's yelling in his face, Reeve felt a little sense of accomplishment.  Reno's anger only meant that he had been able to get through to him.

            "I know a lot more than you'd think.  Stop pretending to be this monster that you think you are!  I know that you /Reno/ are not like this!"  He yelled back almost as equally angry.  "If you were really like this I wouldn't...."

            He guessed that Reno knew what he was about to say and cut him off before he had a chance to finish with a blow to the side of his head.

            Reeve's head snapped to the side with the force of the blow. He tried to strike back, but Reno was able to pin both of his hands with just one of his.

            He couldn't strike back with his fists but he could with words.

            "I love you." He said softly, truthfully.

            Reno seemed to freeze up as if he had totally turned to stone.  Reeve caught something flicker briefly if Reno's eyes, but it was gone too quickly.

            Reeve had seen it though.  Something was still there, and he know felt some hope that he may be able to talk Reno out of whatever he had in mind.  At least until the cavalry arrived.

            _Where the fuck /is/ Rufus!_

_            Reno snapped his attention back into focus again._

            "Don't move."

            Reno released his grip on Reeve's wrists and straightened.

            Reeve wasn't going to move.  He was well aware of Reno might do to him if he continued to try to escape.  But there was something else.  He guessed that he wanted to see how far Reno would go before he stopped.  Even if he did stop.  Normally he wouldn't have been so stupid to want to stay and find out, but some sick part of his mind was curious about this crazed man.  

            He wanted to know if Reno could go through with it.

            _Does he still feel deeply enough to know when to stop.  To stop before it's too late?_

_            When Reeve thought about it a bit more he realized just what a twisted way it was to finally found out how Reno felt about him.  But he couldn't will himself to move.  As if deep down he still believed that Reno cared.  He had seen that brief flicker of emotion.  Was it enough?_

            Without waiting any longer Reno started undoing the buckle on Reeve's trousers.  Reeve didn't say anything, nor did he move to stop him.

            Once done Reno moved, pulling the pants down along with his underwear in one quick move.  Still, Reeve kept still.

            Reno picked up the discarded knife off the floor by his feet.

            Reeve lost his resolve.

            "Reno..."

            He wanted to beg.  To plead with the man to stop.  Whatever he was going through, he just couldn't bring himself to do it.  He had begged with men before, begged for them to stop beating and hurting him.  The thought that he might have to do this with Reno was almost too much.  He wasn't meant to be like those other bastards.  He was meant to be something better, something nicer, something that didn't remind Reeve of self induced nightmares and bad decisions.  Someone that wasn't one of those nightmares or bad decisions.  He was supposed to be someone that had finally cared enough for Reeve to really care back.

            "...I don't want you to be one of them."

            Reno crawled back up the bed sliding the blade across Reeve's bare skin as he moved higher.  The cold steel sent shivers over Reeve's skin as though it was an ice cube.  Reeve doubted it had much to do with the temperature though.

            "Well I am.  If it would make you feel more at home I'll leave a twenty on the counter as I leave."

            Reeve almost choked.  Stunned that Reno would ever throw that back at him.  The knife climbed higher up toward his throat, Reno following close behind.

            Now Reeve silent for completely different reasons.  He had literally been stunned silent, immobile.  It had been more effective than a blow to the head.

            Instead he just turned his head to the side and looked out the window.  It was a trick he had learnt long ago.  If Reno wanted to treat him that way, then there would be nothing to stop him from acting like that.  He didn't want to revert back to that but he couldn't help it, it was more of an automatic action rather than a conscious thought. As he gazed out the window he became less aware of what was happening to his body.  Both his mind and body seemed to go somewhat numb.  He was still aware of what was happening, but he refused to take notice.

            He could feel Reno slide further up his body, following the trail made by the knife with quick hot flicks of his tongue.   He felt Reno clamp his lips over one of his nipples, the sensitive skin unconsciously reacting to the treatment.  He felt his teeth graze across before actually clamping down for a brief instant of pain.  But he never flinched.  Never spoke.  It was easier just to pretend that he was somewhere else.

            Unlike those times in the past though, part of his mind was still very aware of the situation.  That this was Reno doing this to him.  This was Reno treating him this way.  It wasn't like those other nameless, faceless people.  It was Reno.  Someone he had trusted completely.  Someone he still loved even now.  And he was all too aware of the warm trickle that snaked down his cheek ending its journey on the blankets below him.

            The blade of the knife rested lightly against Reeve's throat as Reno finally drew himself up to actually face the man underneath him.  Suddenly he stopped.  Watching Reeve's face as he gazed out of the window, he slid the knife away from the other man's throat and placed it within easy reach by his left side.

            Roughly he grabbed Reeve's chin and forced the man to look up at him.  Reeve's eyes vacantly stared at him.  Looking at him, but not seeing him. The warm wet trail of a tear streaking his left cheek.

            "Don't you dare do that!  Don't you dare zone out!" Reno yelled at him.

            Reeve didn't seem to be paying attention, at least not as far as Reno could see.

            Reno's grip tightened.  

            "Godamnit look at me Reeve!"

            Reeve's eyes seemed to refocus on him.  Finally he seemed as though his brain was back in control and not wandering.  With that came emotion.

            Reno almost faltered when he looked at Reeve's expression.

            It was one of pure agony.

            Not physical, as he had expected, hoped for even.  This was different.

            This was real pain.

            For a second something seemed to pass in front of his eyes.  

            Again something different.  Something real.

            Reeve hadn't wanted for Reno to break his concentration, but it couldn't be helped when the man was yelling in his face.  He was surprised though that he was longer angry, and even more surprised that he no longer cared what Reno did to him.  He welcomed any chance to make it stop.  All his life he had been trying to get away from people that made him feel this way.  Ever since he had grown out of whatever psychosis had made him want to experience such things.  But the thought occurred to him that this may never happen.  No matter what he did, this is how his life was going to turn out.  

            Was he subconsciously attracted to people like those who used to pick him up outside that bar in Junon?  Or was everybody simply like this?  Perhaps it was all he deserved.

            Once Reno had shocked him back into alertness, he figured he might as well speak up.  He only hoped that Reno still thought enough of him to grant him one last small request.

            "Did you come here to kill me?"  Reeve asked with a calmness he hadn't thought possible.

            Reno didn't answer.  He just watched Reeve's face.  He looked as though he was trying to gauge the best response to such a direct question.

            Reeve continued, "I get the feeling that you did.  But if you didn't I have a request."

            Reno was silent for a moment longer before asking, "What?"

            "That you do it anyway." 

            "What?"

            "I can't do this anymore.  And you can't leave me like this."

            More tears appeared to follow the first, spilling down either side of his face.  He hated to look so weak at such  a moment, but he couldn't help it anymore.  Each tear stung more than any blow that Reno had thrown at him all night.  But he still kept silent, awaiting Reno's response.

            "What?"

_            That was the third time that Reno had responded that way to his questions.  _

            _Doesn't he know what I'm asking for?_

            Reno wasn't that stupid, and Reeve didn't believe he wouldn't do such a thing.  Not after this.  Not now.  But Reeve felt himself unable to continue.  He had asked Reno to finish the job he came here to do and all he'd gotten was a 'what?'.

            Reno's brow creased and he rolled off Reeve.  He stood up next to the bed and looked down at Reeve with this utterly confused expression on his face.

            It was now Reeve's turn to look confused.

            _What the hell had just happened?_

_            This time he did make himself move.  He didn't care what Reno might do to him now.  He was somewhere beyond caring._

            He sat up and got to his feet to stand in front of Reno.  Reno didn't move. He didn't even seem to notice that Reeve had stood at all.  He was looking at his hands, concentrating.

            Reeve cast a sideways glance at the knife that still lay on the bed where Reno had left it.  He decided not to go for it though.  He had made up his mind, and he wouldn't hurt Reno. As insane as he realized that sounded, he just couldn't bring himself to use it on him.  He was more afraid that he'd use it on himself.

            Instead he just stood there and watched Reno.  Half of his face was hidden, covered by loose strands of his bright hair, and slightly turned away as he continued his study of his palms.

            Reeve turned his own eyes to follow Reno's and noticed a few flecks of dark liquid that stained the pale moonlit skin of his hands.  There was no doubt that it was actually Reeve's own blood.  Reno had sure cut him and knocked him around enough to cause as much blood to get on his hands.  But why was it so enthralling to Reno?

            "Reno?"

            Reno didn't respond, didn't flinch.

            Reeve repeated the move Reno had done to him to bring him back to attention, only with a gentleness that Reno's touch had lacked.

            He tipped Reno's head up to look at him.

            Reno's stared back at him with a look of absolute shock.  Eyes wide, face totally devoid of color. 

            Reno could usually hide his emotions.  Cover his face in a mask of stone  detachment.  But not this time.  Too much seemed to be going through his mind at once.  He looked positively sick.

            "What?"

            His voice was softer this time, less demanding. His whole body seemed to tremble as if he were cold.  Reeve had seen such a look before. Reno was in shock.

            Then he collapsed.

*********************************************

When Reeve finally opened the door for him, Rufus almost thought he'd 

gotten the wrong apartment.  The man that stood before him barely resembled his friend.  This man looked like he'd just gotten beaten up by an amazingly pissed off chocobo.

            "What the fuck happened to you?"

            Reeve's pale face grimaced and he shot a look of distress at the VP.

            "A lot."  Reeve answered making way for Rufus to enter.

            Rufus did so then ran another careful eye over Reeve's appearance.  His face was already bruising.  A small trail of blood ran down the side of his face from just above the hairline.  The white t-shirt he wore had at least two spots where blood had soaked through the thin fabric.  His face though, that look, was enough to cause Rufus the most worry.

            "As in?"  He carefully asked once Reeve had shut the door.

            Reeve took a deep breath and leant against the wall by the door.  Rufus' eyes were unconsciously drawn in that direction.  He spotted a couple of small cracks in the wooden door that he had been unable to see from the outside, as well as a tiny smear of blood about head height on the door's surface.

            "As in, Reno happened to me."

            Rufus blinked a few times, unsure if he had heard correctly.  He had.

            "He did this?  Here?!"

            His anger flared at the sight of Reeve's solemn nod.

            _How could he do something like this?_

            He was torn between believing that the person he had known for so long could stoop to such a thing, and the hurt written all over Reeve's face.  But Reeve obviously wasn't making anything up.  After all, Rufus could see the evidence himself.

            "That sonofabitch!"  Rufus swore clenching his fists.  "Oh this is too much, he can't keep doing shit like this!"

            Rufus made an angry move toward the door but Reeve stopped him, placing an open palm gently against Rufus' chest.

            "You won't find him out there. If that's what you had in mind."

            Despite Reeve's expressions, his voice seemed very calm to counter balance Rufus' own state of mind.

            "Unless he's left Midgar, you bet I'll find the little bastard."

            "I know where he is.  But I won't tell you till you calm down."

            Rufus looked at the other man as if he'd grown an extra head.  "Calm down! You're fucking kidding Reeve!  Look at what he did!  At what he's already done!  How can you still care about him!"

            Contrary to what he'd said to Reeve and the anger directed at Reno, Rufus still worried about the Turk.  He couldn't help it.  That didn't mean that he wouldn't beat the shit out of him once he found him.  It only meant that afterwards he would call an ambulance.

            "I don't honestly know whether I'd still feel the same if he'd come to my apartment and....."

            "I think he's in more trouble that he realizes."  Reeve said.   "He needs help, not an ass kicking."

            Rufus took a few calming breaths to try and sooth his temper for Reeve's benefit.  "Maybe he deserves both.  But I won't do anything if you really don't want me to."

            Reeve nodded, relieved.  "Thank you."

            "But he can't stay with the Turks.  At least not until he sorts himself out."

            Reeve nodded again.  "That's probably a good idea." He agreed.

            With one last deep breath Rufus asked, "So where is he?"

            Reeve hesitated for a moment before turning and walking across the lounge room. "C'mon." He called behind him.

            It took a while before Rufus realized that Reno must still be here.

            _What the...?   _

_            But he held his tongue and followed Reeve into his bedroom._

            On the floor by the side of the bed lay the unconscious form of the Turk in question.  A knife, dotted with small flecks of blood, lay on the rumpled sheets of the bed.

            "You stabbed him?"  Rufus asked amazed.

            "The thought did cross my mind."  Reeve admitted, sitting on the bed wearily. "But no I didn't."

            "So what....?"

            "He passed out."  Reeve replied simply.  "He just stopped what he was doing all of a sudden and got this weird look on his face before he passed out."

            Rufus chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully.  "You think he realized what he was doing?"

            "He sure looked like he went into shock."  Then more quietly.  "I hope he realized anyway."

            Rufus put a hand on Reeve's shoulder making the other man look up at him. 

            "I'm really sorry about all of this Reeve.  I should've seen this coming."

            "We both should've. What're you going to do with him?"

            "Take him out of Midgar I suppose.  He needs a break.  So do we. A heavily guarded month at Costa Del Sol should chill him out.  I don't think he's had a lot of time to really think things over without distraction.  I'm not saying it'll cure him though.  He may never be able to come back.  Not after tonight."

            Reeve groaned.  "You're going to report this?"

            "Not if you really don't want me to.  But I have to tell Tseng something.  I'll need heavy backing if I'm going to get my father to agree to it."  Rufus told him. "But I'll leave most of it out.  Just that Reno attacked and almost killed one of our department heads.  Tseng's not stupid, he'll connect it to Kramer.  Then he'll have to back me."

            "Kramer?"  Reeve asked.  "Do you think that Shinra wanted me..."

            Rufus shook his head.  "I think this was more of a random act of aggression on Reno's part.  Kramer was a hit."

            "You sound more sure of that than you did this afternoon.  Find something?"

            Rufus had almost forgotten the real reason he'd come over to Reeve's apartment.

            "You could say that.  But for the moment I think we have other worries."

            Reeve followed Rufus' line of sight to the man still sprawled on his carpet.  If not for the slight rise and fall of his chest, Reeve could've thought that Reno was actually dead.

            Rufus gave one of Reno's  leg's a casual kick as if to make sure the Turk was actually unconscious before letting out a long calming breath.

            "Or maybe something less to worry about now."

            Reeve looked as though he hardly thought that was a good thing considering.  Undoubtedly worn out, tired, scared and miserable Reeve dragged his eyes away from the man sprawled on his bedroom floor and looked out of the window beyond.

            He whispered something else, but Rufus didn't really hear it properly.  It sounded something like; 'happy birthday'.

***

Tseng shivered slightly and drew his long coat closer around his shoulders.

            Caryla was late.

            He looked at his watched and sighed. 40 minutes late to be exact.

            He cast a miserable glance back toward the door of his apartment building, remembering the warm apartment he'd left behind to come and stand out on the sidewalk and wait for Cary.  Comfortable furniture, warm coffee everything.  It was such a miserable night that he'd nearly called the doctor and asked to reschedule.  But he hadn't.  He could live through a little cold whether, he'd definitely lived through worse.

            But it was cold, and it was miserable…

            And it didn't help that he thought the whole endeavor was a waste of time anyway.  Surely Reno couldn't be as bad as Caryla had led him to believe.  And even if he was, why did they really need to talk to Reeve about it all?  Tseng could almost see how this was going to turn out.  Reeve would get freaked out for no good reason and Reno would have something to feel even more depressed about.

            He had to admire Carlya's dedication.  Even if she thought there was a possibility for something to go wrong, she would do everything within her control to help.  Even if that went against her own ethics. All that mattered was that someone might be hurting and she could help.

            Tseng smiled slightly at the thought.

            He huddled further inside his black coat and checked his watch for maybe the sixth time since he'd been out here in annoyance. Still as much as he liked and admired the girl, he wasn't going to wait out here for her forever.

            He turned and walked back into the warmth of his building.  If she really hadn't forgotten and she still turned up.  He would make her get out of her car and at least press the buzzer.  She was already 45 minutes late anyway, he doubted she would be in a rush.

_The End?_

_Tee hee…as if…_

_*****************************_

_Notes; phew that was a long one.  For a while I thought of doing an eleventh chapter to have a more solid conclusion, but hey, it seems to work this way.  I know I left it wholly unfinished but c'mon you guys know me better than that.  Do you really think that this is it?  As if I've ever finished anything in my life.  Now for the drumroll...dum dum dum daaaaa.....The third part is coming soon, "What You Do To Me."  Mwahahaha bet you all thought you were safe and that I'd finally kicked this thing in the head huh.  Well like I said I never finish anything and I reckon I could easily get away with another part of this fic.  I believe I've also mentioned that I'm a huge fan of the sequel so how can I ever finish.  Actually I might finish it with the third part.  The little plots that i've got in my brain scream conclusion, but you'll just have to wait and see.  Lemme see, I sure have left enough open for a third.  The whole Scarlet thing for instance.  Oh and don't forget that walking replica of Dr Frankenstein, Professor Hojo.  I sure could do a lot more with that twisted little interest he has in our boys. Ewwww. Also I plan on getting to the in-game stuff soon as well.  Anyway I've rambled for long enough and hopefully you enjoyed my story enough to even read this.  I can never be totally sure.  Actually anyone who actually read this far down I want you to e-mail me.  Send me an e-mail with the heading 'boo' and I swear to god I'll give you a friggin award._

_Yours and everybody else's at the Christmas party_

_AF_

_anime_fearie@excite.com_

_All my stories can be found on the 70th Floor at Neo Midgar_

_http://www.geocities.com/anime_fearie/_

**_Extra Note (Important) _**_ I'm taking a little break in between the second and the third parts so I can get things done.  Keep an eye out for my new stuff or join my mailing list to know when the new one will be out.  Well, at least for a preview. ;) In fact I have two little stories coming out that are supposed to slot into the series that will deal with Reno pre-Monsters. The first one will definetly be out before "What You Do To Me" and is called, "A Little Boy Called Dale" Not a must read for the series, but it will help a lot to get an understanding on Reno's insanity in this installment. The second one is no big deal and can be slotted into just about any of my series'. That will be a story on how Reno got recruited into the Turks and why he was such a special case. It is called "I Must Be Insane". 'Dale' will be out before the third part of 'Monsters' but the other is in no hurry. Look out for both of them though, they both have a bearing on the series. _

_            Also, check out another of my fics "Do What You Will." Nothing to do with Monsters, but I'm anxious for people to have a read.  _


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